Bobby Skidmarks Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 3 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I'm just out of hospital after an operation on my feet. I can't get shoes on and need to keep my legs elevated as much as possible. I had to get the train home as there was no ambulance available. Couldn't believe that some cùnt was taking pictures of me. He hadn't the bottle or manners to ask Me about it. Hopefully I'll pull through and get back on my feet soon. I hope your feet fall off, white socks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Just now, Bobby Skidmarks said: I hope your feet fall off, white socks. They're bandages. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 Just now, Melanius Mullarkey said: Support stockings imo. The wife's probably. No, I asked her and she said you would notice they were missing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 21, 2017 Share Posted August 21, 2017 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Well she's lying. I only wear them Wednesday and Fridays. It comes so naturally to her. I don't think she even knows when she's doing it now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 On 8/18/2017 at 21:53, tongue_tied_danny said: i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue Aye, ok Bear Grylls. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I remember being stuck on a train from Glasgow to London beside an extremely loud and quite large American woman. She was friendly enough but it must have been her first trip to Europe as she seemed to be utterly amazed by the concept of buildings that were more than a couple of centuries old. Even old stone farmhouses we passed were a thing of wonder to her. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 4 minutes ago, nsr said: I remember being stuck on a train from Glasgow to London beside an extremely loud and quite large American woman. She was friendly enough but it must have been her first trip to Europe as she seemed to be utterly amazed by the concept of buildings that were more than a couple of centuries old. Even old stone farmhouses we passed were a thing of wonder to her. Aye, but did you pump her? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Naw. She was about 50-odd. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 3 minutes ago, nsr said: Naw. She was about 50-odd. So is Liz Hurley... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 She was no Liz Hurley. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 5 minutes ago, nsr said: She was no Liz Hurley. Sadly, not many 50+ women are. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeyWellFan Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 It's probably been covered but arrogant loud c***s that despite being told that reservations have been removed due to carriage changes, still feel they have the right to turf people out of the place they were supposed to be in.I hope the train crashes tbh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expatowner Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 I got a train from montrose to dundee last week. As I alighted I realised there was a blob of chewing gum stuck to my arse. Some dirty c**t had spat their chewing gum onto the seat. I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans and I was worried that they were fucked but i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue before throwing them in the washing machine. What kind of mink spits chewing gum onto a seat? What kind of mink has a Swiss Army knife? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 5 minutes ago, expatowner said: What kind of mink has a Swiss Army knife? A Swiss Guard, OFTW if you ask me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 1 hour ago, expatowner said: What kind of mink has a Swiss Army knife? A mink who takes stones out of horses hooves a lot? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 A mink who takes stones out of horses hooves a lot? Surely there is some kind of specialist farrier tool that would be utilised for that purpose rather than a multi tool. Unless straight after removing the stone you need to open a bottle of wine , start a fire and then remove detritus from between your teeth. Then the Swiss army knife becomes invaluable! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 (edited) 11 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said: Surely there is some kind of specialist farrier tool that would be utilised for that purpose rather than a multi tool. Unless straight after removing the stone you need to open a bottle of wine , start a fire and then remove detritus from between your teeth. Then the Swiss army knife becomes invaluable! But not as useful as a corkscrew, a box of matches and some floss. Half the weight and about a quarter the price. ETA: In fact, the matches can double as toothpicks. Edited August 25, 2017 by The DA 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted August 25, 2017 Share Posted August 25, 2017 ETA: In fact, the matches can double as toothpicks. So could the corkscrew , depends how minky/ studenty you want to get ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 3 hours ago, JamesP_81 said: Surely there is some kind of specialist farrier tool Big team found 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted August 26, 2017 Share Posted August 26, 2017 Naw. She was about 50-odd. So fuk, get her pumped ya shitebag 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.