Jump to content

C**** on a Train


Recommended Posts

A mink who takes stones out of horses hooves a lot?

Surely there is some kind of specialist farrier tool that would be utilised for that purpose rather than a multi tool. Unless straight after removing the stone you need to open a bottle of wine , start a fire and then remove detritus from between your teeth. Then the Swiss army knife becomes invaluable!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, JamesP_81 said:


Surely there is some kind of specialist farrier tool that would be utilised for that purpose rather than a multi tool. Unless straight after removing the stone you need to open a bottle of wine , start a fire and then remove detritus from between your teeth. Then the Swiss army knife becomes invaluable!

But not as useful as a corkscrew, a box of matches and some floss.  Half the weight and about a quarter the price.

ETA: In fact, the matches can double as toothpicks. 

Edited by The DA
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 19/08/2017 at 04:53, tongue_tied_danny said:

I got a train from montrose to dundee last week. As I alighted I realised there was a blob of chewing gum stuck to my arse. Some dirty c**t had spat their chewing gum onto the seat. 

I was wearing a brand new pair of jeans and I was worried that they were fucked but i managed to remove the gum by scraping it off with my Swiss army knife then rubbing coconut oil into the sticky residue before throwing them in the washing machine.

What kind of mink spits chewing gum onto a seat?

Probably because there are no urinals on a train to spit it into.

The next time you get chewing gum on an item of clothing, fire it into the freezer until it's solid and pick it off. 

You're more than welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got the English equivalent of Father Purcell sitting in the row two behind me with his even more boring (presumed) wife. Only two hours to go with no spare seats.

3e64915b3ae7491f4bef476aa530a942_400x400.jpeg

Typical sort of thing so far (all one conversation):

Are we in a tunnel?
No.
Then why was it dark?
We were just in a tunnel.
It was dark wasn't it.
Yes it was.
But it's not dark now.
No.
I quite like the dark.
I prefer light.
Why?
You can see things.
Like what?
I like cows.
And sheep.
I like it when you can see the sea.
Especially when you can see boats.
What is Newcastle famous for?
Don't know.
What is Sheffield famous for?
Don't know. They have two football teams I think.
I don't like football.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've got the English equivalent of Father Purcell sitting in the row two behind me with his even more boring (presumed) wife. Only two hours to go with no spare seats.

3e64915b3ae7491f4bef476aa530a942_400x400.jpeg

Typical sort of thing so far (all one conversation):

Are we in a tunnel?
No.
Then why was it dark?
We were just in a tunnel.
It was dark wasn't it.
Yes it was.
But it's not dark now.
No.
I quite like the dark.
I prefer light.
Why?
You can see things.
Like what?
I like cows.
And sheep.
I like it when you can see the sea.
Especially when you can see boats.
What is Newcastle famous for?
Don't know.
What is Sheffield famous for?
Don't know. They have two football teams I think.
I don't like football.


Oh holy f**k. Murder on the orient express comes to mind.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The comments from the boy that filmed this are pure narcissism. Fight breaks out on train so he packs his kids off, comes back and films it whilst whining "someone get the guard". Then mouths off about how the train company's staff for "inadequately protecting me and my children". 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/4329021/watch-punches-fly-as-drunken-lout-brawls-on-edinburgh-train-in-absolutely-terrifying-ordeal-that-left-teenage-girls-in-tears/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

The comments from the boy that filmed this are pure narcissism. Fight breaks out on train so he packs his kids off, comes back and films it whilst whining "someone get the guard". Then mouths off about how the train company's staff for "inadequately protecting me and my children". 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/4329021/watch-punches-fly-as-drunken-lout-brawls-on-edinburgh-train-in-absolutely-terrifying-ordeal-that-left-teenage-girls-in-tears/

Worst bit of that was the filmer making all that noise in a Quiet Coach.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Shandon Par said:

The comments from the boy that filmed this are pure narcissism. Fight breaks out on train so he packs his kids off, comes back and films it whilst whining "someone get the guard". Then mouths off about how the train company's staff for "inadequately protecting me and my children". 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/scottish-news/4329021/watch-punches-fly-as-drunken-lout-brawls-on-edinburgh-train-in-absolutely-terrifying-ordeal-that-left-teenage-girls-in-tears/

Concerned about daughters.

Get them out carriage then abandon them in order to go back in the carriage and not actually assist with breaking up fight but stand in the middle of the stupidity and film it.

As big a Bawbag as the guys fighting.

Edited by MEADOWXI
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, MEADOWXI said:

Concerned about daughters.

Get them out carriage then abandon them in order to go back in the carriage and not actually assist with breaking up fight but stand in the middle of the stupidity and film it.

As big a Bawbag as the guys fighting.

Worked out well for him in the end, though, as he was apparently able to flog the film to the Sun. Well worth leaving his daughters at the mercy of any wandering Savile type.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Worked out well for him in the end, though, as he was apparently able to flog the film to the Sun. Well worth leaving his daughters at the mercy of any wandering Savile type.


Lucky negligent c**t on a train thread for him
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...