C**** on a Train

[supermik]

On 22/11/2018 at 14:07, Archie McSquackle said:

I got the train to Euston this morning and as it was at 6.30 I knew I'd be looking for a bit of a kip so I booked a seat on the quiet coach. Two women across the aisle were blethering but I didn't know the woman behind them was also with them until another friend got on at Motherwell- cue endless shite talk. Why would a group of four women book on a quiet coach?

We had not been on a train for years when the wife booked a couple of first class tickets to Newcastle. They were in a quiet coach , we had no clue what that meant exactly. Within minutes of leaving the station, the wife’s phone rang, ‘twas the daughter. Wife answered and proceeded to chat away as normal. Within seconds an irate woman appeared and demanded that the wife hang up the phone .  Live and learn I suppose!

[GordonD]

10 hours ago, jimmy boo said:

These two selfish inconsiderate c***s on the train from Glasgow to Ayr yesterday afternoon taking up 4 seats while folk stood near the doors either side. Greedy fat bint next to instrument spent the whole journey gorging on shit. Her companions sevco scarf said it all.

ETA.......apologies for making a c**t of posting my first picture!!

Was going to ask if there had been a railway accident - train appears to be on its side!

[AsimButtHitsASix]

12 hours ago, jimmy boo said:

These two selfish inconsiderate c***s on the train from Glasgow to Ayr yesterday afternoon taking up 4 seats while folk stood near the doors either side. Greedy fat bint next to instrument spent the whole journey gorging on shit. Her companions sevco scarf said it all.

Shite picture aside is there anywhere on those trains to store a double bass (or whatever it is?) Worth a few bob and, maybe, something she makes a living from. Would be a bit dodgy to leave that unattended on a train that people from Paisley use regularly.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

2 minutes ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

Shite picture aside is there anywhere on those trains to store a double bass (or whatever it is?) Worth a few bob and, maybe, something she makes a living from. Would be a bit dodgy to leave that unattended on a train that people from Paisley use regularly.

Its not a double bass, its her lunch box.

[AsimButtHitsASix]

All the more reason to keep it close by when travelling through Paisley.

[Bold Rover]

1 minute ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

Shite picture aside is there anywhere on those trains to store a double bass (or whatever it is?) Worth a few bob and, maybe, something she makes a living from. Would be a bit dodgy to leave that unattended on a train that people from Paisley use regularly.

Looks like a cello, and even though it's one of my favourite instruments, it wouldn't be taking up a seat and leaving me to stand. Its owner could stand in the doorway with it, or they could use a different mode of transport.

[AsimButtHitsASix]

11 minutes ago, Bold Rover said:

Looks like a cello, and even though it's one of my favourite instruments

Top 5 Favourite Instruments thread for this pish

[Bold Rover]

For Asim the Philistine:

 

[AsimButtHitsASix]

Come back when Danish psychobilly bands start using coffin shaped cellos...
 

 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Playing a cello is, very much like, making love to a beautiful woman.

You, rub it gently with a long hard instrument in your hand until, it makes a beautiful sound. 

[AsimButtHitsASix]

4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Playing a cello is, very much like, making love to a beautiful woman.

You, rub it gently with a long hard instrument in your hand until, it makes a beautiful sound. 

Similar to playing double bass for a rockabilly band.

Climb on top, slap it around and poke at it with yer fingers til the song's finished.

[Honest_Man#1]

10 hours ago, supermik said:

We had not been on a train for years when the wife booked a couple of first class tickets to Newcastle. They were in a quiet coach , we had no clue what that meant exactly. Within minutes of leaving the station, the wife’s phone rang, ‘twas the daughter. Wife answered and proceeded to chat away as normal. Within seconds an irate woman appeared and demanded that the wife hang up the phone .  Live and learn I suppose!

^^^ c***s on a train.

[welshbairn]

1 hour ago, Bold Rover said:

Looks like a cello, and even though it's one of my favourite instruments, it wouldn't be taking up a seat and leaving me to stand. Its owner could stand in the doorway with it, or they could use a different mode of transport.

Quite possible they booked a seat for the cello, people do that on planes.

[MEADOWXI]

7 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

Quite possible they booked a seat for the cello, people do that on planes.

You can't even book a seat for a human being on the Glasgow - Ayr line,

And that bitch has one booked for her cello. Lucky she found a free seat for herself next to her Cello's seat.

[GordonD]

1 minute ago, MEADOWXI said:

You can't even book a seat for a human being on the Glasgow - Ayr line,

And that bitch has one booked for her cello. Lucky she found a free seat for herself next to her Cello's seat.

Or she bought two tickets when she arrived at the station.

I've got more of a problem with the lassie sitting with her feet sticking out into the aisle. Makes it a bugger to get past.

[Bold Rover]

^^^

And not a pie kicked, as far as we know.

[Shandon Par]

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Playing a cello is, very much like, making love to a beautiful woman.

You, rub it gently with a long hard instrument in your hand until, it makes a beautiful sound. 

Get it out now and again for a bit of fingering then lock it away securely until next time. 

[drs]

1 hour ago, GordonD said:

Or she bought two tickets when she arrived at the station.

Buying a ticket is not a guarantee of a seat on a train, rather bizarrely. 

[GordonD]

1 hour ago, drs said:

Buying a ticket is not a guarantee of a seat on a train, rather bizarrely. 

So there's no cause for complaint when a cello with a ticket is occupying one. Especially on a train with no luggage compartment.

I was once on a train from Glasgow to Edinburgh (via Motherwell - ultimate destination London) where a couple of women had a cello which they'd propped in the seat opposite. The ticket collector knew that the train would fill up at Edinburgh and got them to move it to the luggage van. This of course is not a possibility where the train doesn't have one.

[Jacksgranda]

5 hours ago, Bold Rover said:

For Asim the Philistine:

 

Did he take over from Goliath?