Perks of your job/ skives

[Thistle_do_nicely]

I guess a perk of sorts is that there's loads of unplanned downtime every few weeks. Sometimes it's just a few minutes, but more often than not when it's fucked it's fucked for about 80% of your shift. You're expected to catch up on anything outstanding that you can, but I'm always on top of stuff like GDPR courses, elf n' safety box-ticking exercises and the like, so I get to pretty much just browse P&B and kill time by doing shite like fantasy shopping for my next car etc, no-one really cares because there's absofuckinglutely no real work you can do while, say, the main portal is down. They don't monitor internet usage all that strictly afaik. Doesn't mean I'm busy chugging away to Pornhub or whatever during working hours but you can get on, say, the BBC iPlayer for some of the World Cup matches if you really fancy it. Can also catch up on Sportscene, MotD and the like, too.

I can type really fast so don't have to try any fly tricks to massage my stats tbh. My line manager is really good too, she's not a micromanaging fuckwit like some managers I've had in the past and doesn't nitpick if you're 1 or 2 minutes late to arrive / finish 1 or 2 minutes early as long as you're contributing enough during working hours.

[Granny Danger]

I get to make myself as many cups of coffee as I want every day.  

I have to buy the coffee and the milk, and I usually don’t want any more than two cups a day, but still not too shabby.

 

[John Lambies Doos]

You this c**t?
 

Yup, that's me [emoji85]

[sureiknow]

When I worked in Royal Mail, free postage. 

Just put a used stamp, which there plenty available and re franked them. 

Also at Christmas Royal mail gave us, can't remember for sure, about 24 1st class stamps so I sold them.

Well I would never need them!

[bud1876]

I've been drunk in more countries than I can remember [emoji4] 
Free world travel. 
Mostly sandy shitholes these days but in the 90's plenty places worth visiting. USA, Canada, Australia, Malaysia, Iceland to name a few that stick in the memory but also pretty much all of mainland Europe. 
QRA meant sitting in a La Z Boy for a week watching Sky Sports, drinking tea, and hammering a X Box.  
The main reason though is the last 10 years they've given me paid time off and paid me to go and race a motorcycle 8-10 weekends every year. It's the only reason I've stayed this long.
2 years left then that's it. Retired at 48 [emoji4] I

Government job?
Possibly Foreign office.

[Cerberus]

My team and I were a little tired after pushing ourselves hard trying to get the reactor online and our boss got us hammocks.

[Ylf]

Forgot to say I live 5 min walk from my work as well

[Cardinal Richelieu]

1 hour ago, Ylf said:

Forgot to say I live 5 min walk from my work as well

That can be both a blessing and a disguise. Handy for when you're  working, not so handy when you're not working, they're short-staffed and phone the nearest employee to get them in. Also, the furthest away you live from your work, the safer you are to saunter the streets in the knowledge you won't get caught when you pull a sickie. 

[The DA]

11 hours ago, AMMjag said:

Can leave from my house around 8.45 on foot and be there for before 5 to. A great small team with no arseholes, and the boss is a Thistle fan. 

That's some commute.  Never think of learning to drive?

[Ylf]

That can be both a blessing and a disguise. Handy for when you're  working, not so handy when you're not working, they're short-staffed and phone the nearest employee to get them in. Also, the furthest away you live from your work, the safer you are to saunter the streets in the knowledge you won't get caught when you pull a sickie. 

Yes sadly true. Had a few phone calls over the years to come in when we are short staffed

[Sergeant Wilson]

10 hours ago, ICTChris said:

 

I’ve had horrible jobs that before and while there are plenty of stresses and downsides to my current position I can’t imagine feeling that way about it.

Yes, truly working as the fluffer in Steamworkz Gay Sauna has been a turning point in my employment career. Follow your dreams kids.

 

In their Burnley HQ?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

10 hours ago, G_Man1985 said:

I do like this post as it is probably me apart from having to be there all the time and doing work.

Mozza mind meet is in the pizza aisle on Sunday please .

I’ll be round to stock up on zoider.

[banana]

Across two sites, private office near top of skyscraper with park and skyline views. World Cup on large screen TV right now. Games room. Free tea, coffee, beer/wine, random 'spreads'. Random events to match holidays. Fairly autonomous role. Are good colleagues a perk?

Best was a custom built new site for a large tech firm, huge games rooms (pool, consoles, table football, TVs, bar, massage chairs) on each floor, free coffee bar on each floor, huge canteen with loads of cuisines, gym, small basketball and football courts. Shite company otherwise, massive corporate politics and backstabbing, micromanaged to hell. 

[Dazzle]

Decent money for my job, only work 21 weeks a year on a 4 on 4 off shift pattern, the people I work with are good guys and I'm very rarely stressed out or overworked.

Good job all in all, the 4 on when it falls Fri sat sun Mon nightshift is a ballache but just have to make the most of weekends when I'm off.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

13 minutes ago, banana said:

Across two sites, private office near top of skyscraper with park and skyline views. World Cup on large screen TV right now. Games room. Free tea, coffee, beer/wine, random 'spreads'. Random events to match holidays. Fairly autonomous role. 

Hi rise janny for the cooncil.

[Rizzo]

13 hours ago, Gaz said:

I'm just about to embark on 51 glorious days off.

[Trackdaybob]

9 hours ago, bud1876 said:

Government job?
Possibly Foreign office.

Nothing remotely glamorous, I'm an aircraft technician in the RAF. 

[tree house tam]

Do as i please basically, area manager checks in once every 4-6 weeks. As long as figures are ok then I'm left to my own devices.

[Ylf]

Do as i please basically, area manager checks in once every 4-6 weeks. As long as figures are ok then I'm left to my own devices.

Nice one tam[emoji109]

[Musketeer Gripweed]

I share an office with my mate, which is nice. Thing is, he's my managing director now as well. Can be awkward when browsing the internet and watching the horse racing in the afternoon.

Going down to the stadium this week to meet Paul Hartley, so if anyone has any questions for him, let me know. Got a signed strip of his newly installed in the office the other week as well.