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Saw an advert last night for Ring. One bit of it was a pair of self entitled lazy little shitheads sitting on their sofa when the Keithyg boy appears at the door holding a massive parcel.

"Yeah, just drop it off round the back will you" they mewl into their pathetic phones.

If I was the courier boy I would have set fire to the parcel and launched it through the arseholes fucking windae.

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Slowly but surely dish out enough abuse, both verbal and physical so as to gain a reputation locally as a fucking psychopath.

Thus, no one will f**k with your house, they will explore the houses of close by neighbours who are not anecdotally known and mental b*****ds.

A much more fun and cost effective solution

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