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Crawford

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Keep your house a tip. 

It will look scaffy and not worth breaking into for thieves. Also there's the chance a ne'er do well will trip over some junk and break their neck. 

Also, baseball bats are a bit unsubtle. I have my sister's old hockey stick and I reckon you could do a bit of damage with that thing.

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3 hours ago, TxRover said:

Get a mains powered or bell transformer powered one rather than battery model, quicker response. If you get the battery model, be ready for complaints from the Mrs.

Nothing will not convince me that you are talking about sex toy.

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6 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

In the name of security everyone who enters the room has to have his bottom fondled by this drooling pervert.

I am agog with anticipation, unless you are referring to your good self.

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