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Terrible presents


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I was reminded yesterday of some of the terrible presents i have bought in the past.

As a kid there was a shop in Alloa across from the library that was my go to place for stuff. Games, books, videos, it sold all sorts.

First, in the category of not knowing what the hell it is, when I was about 12 I bought my mum a pair of Mills & Boon books. I am trying to imagine my reaction had my son bought my wife erotic fiction at that age.

Second, in the presents in disguise category, for Mother's day I  bought my mum not one but two Star Trek Deep Space Nine videos. She kindly told me to just watch them myself. I followed this up by buying her for her birthday Gryzor for the Commodore 64. Turns out she did not own a C64. Luckily I did.I

So...what terrible presents have you ever bought or received?

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An exists gran once bought me a pack of Asda pants/briefs and a pack of Asda white socks.

I hadn't, and indeed still haven't, worn pants/briefs or white socks since I was a child.

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I studied history and politics at uni and my mum, who did an OU history degree while I was growing up, thought it fitting to buy me a copy of Mein Kampf along with a copy of The Communist Manifesto and The Wealth of Nations one Christmas. While, in all honesty, I've never really seen much issue with it, l often get horrified looks when recanting this tale.

A couple of weeks later, for my 21st birthday, she gave me a dried, severed ostrich toe that she'd found in an antique shop. That one is a little harder to justify.

Edited by Barry Ferguson's Hat
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5 minutes ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said:

I studied history and politics at uni and my mum, who did an OU history degree while I was growing up, thought it fitting to buy me a copy of Mein Kampf along with a copy of The Communist Manifesto and The Wealth of Nations one Christmas. While, in all honesty, I've never really seen much issue with it, l I often get horrified looks when recanting this tale.

A couple of weeks later, for my 21st birthday, she gave me a dried, severed ostrich toe that she'd found in an antique shop. That one is a little harder to justify.

This is the terrible presents thread

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1 minute ago, Derry Alli said:

A bedding set.

Not a funny one, or one that had any interests/hobbies on it.

A sage green quilt and pillow covers.

At least that's somewhat practical. 

My upbringing of being taught to be grateful for any gift prevents me from naming anything specific, but by f**k I got thoroughly sick of having to find space in my house for random crap that served no obvious purpose aside from coaxing a small laugh when it's first opened.

Luckily my family and friends pretty much have taste and sense.

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34 minutes ago, Rizzo said:

At least that's somewhat practical. 

My upbringing of being taught to be grateful for any gift prevents me from naming anything specific, but by f**k I got thoroughly sick of having to find space in my house for random crap that served no obvious purpose aside from coaxing a small laugh when it's first opened.

Luckily my family and friends pretty much have taste and sense.

Aye I can be ruthless when it comes to putting pish like that to the charity shop.

My folks tend to give money as a gift (not to sound like Little Lord Fauntleroy but I hate that) but I remember getting a towel as a gift. A saltire towel that you could spit through. I was 19, lived at home and we had abundant towels. Guff.

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I once bought my sister-in-law a lush bathbomb set. Forgetting that she only had a walk in shower. 

 

Weirdest gift i received- I was extremely drunk one night, got a taxi home and was talking so much pish on the way home. Before leaving the car, the driver handed me a book and said "I think you will find this very helpful".  I just took the book without looking, went into the house and passed out. I was wakened up by my ex demanding to know why i had brought home a book in Scientology! I gave up the drink for 6 months after that! 

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18 minutes ago, madmitch said:

As a 50th birthday present someone gave me a single 2 inch square ceramic tile. I'm guessing the box of cadbury's favourites was too expensive.

Probably made of of pure cocaine tbf.

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I remember when I was very young my dad got my mum an exercise bike for Christmas. Even 4yo me was thinking "Really dad?! A fucking exercise bike?!".

They're still together so I assume she told him that she wanted one.

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My now deid gran was a great one for weird stuff, including gifts.  A pair of curtains in some hideous colour and pattern springs to mind, bettered only by a piece of lino.  Neither fitted which didn't stop her 'installing' them.  She also used to put Dairylea triangles on pizza. 

 

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A beanie hat, which on its own would be perfectly fine, with a built in torch and built in earphones, ridiculous shite.

Gift giving/receiving is shite, I get it with children but as adults it's just wasting money buying people stuff they don't want.

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I remember getting a leather Harley Davidson Jacket (massive emblem in the back) as a teenager off my dad, never wore it as didn't fancy getting bullied much. He also many years later got a phone case for my sister, had no idea what what phone my sister had but thought they were a one size fits all thing. His wife constantly make me cross stitch sort of things as Christmas gifts and I'm afraid to ever invite them round to mine as I've binned the lot which I do feel bad for as she must spends days making them.

Edited by gannonball
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Now that I think of it, a friend's Gran was excellent for terrible presents. She was a lovely woman, but absolutely clueless. One year he got a Take That calendar because 'you like bands' and another year, knowing he was into football, she got him a pair of novelty socks emblazoned with the caption 'Nice Tackle', completely unaware of the sexual undertones.

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