McB Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 My maw. I love her to bits but she drives me mental. Back up the road for the weekend, and things were going really well until the interrogation started. 'You've lost weight again, haven't you?' No. 'I bet you're not eating properly, are you?' Eh? I'm eating fine maw, honest. (5 minutes pass) 'That top's a bit low cut, is it not?' Erm, not really. It's not like I'm at work... 'I think you ought to wear a camisole underneath it. It's virtually indecent!' Hmmm. (A further 10 minutes pass and some gin in consumed) 'Have you dyed your hair? You've dyed your hair, haven't you?' Erm, aye. And? 'I knew it' [smug smiley] (1 hour passes and a bottle and a half of wine is consumed) 'So, when is that horrible proddy boyfriend of yours going to make an honest woman of you?' Asking her why she'd want me to marry someone that she doesn't like didn't go down especially well... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 35mins and counting on hold to green flag, thank goodness it's on the landline and not a mobile. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballymoneyyin Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 didnt sleep until 4 o'clock on sunday morn. step da comes in pished at 7 and a had to carry him downstairs for a pish then help him bk up. and i'm the sorta person who cant go back to sleep after im up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrowhillclyde Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Sort of related to the gav-ffc/WAAD posts about folk standing in stupid places Folks that get in your way when out running. Was at Strathclyde park yesterday and there was all sorts of Sponsored walks and organised dog walks going on. Stupid wobblebottom b*****ds walking three abreast across the full width of the path with their ipods on, totally oblivious to the backup of runners/cyclists behind them. Arseholes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris McDonald Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Theres a boy in my class at college that always mooches people for fags,food,juice etc. Hence he get's called 'Mooching Mikey' Gets right on my tits 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Looking like the volvo heaven in the sky for our car 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't know what's annoying me more, The c**t that stole the sat-nav from my Maw's car, Or her for leaving it unlocked like a right stupid b*****d. "I've lived here for 10 years... Why should I start locking the car now?" WE LIVE IN PARKHEAD YA DAFT COW! The jakey b*****ds round here would steal the shite from your arsehole if it was worth something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't know what's annoying me more, The c**t that stole the sat-nav from my Maw's car, Or her for leaving it unlocked like a right stupid b*****d."I've lived here for 10 years... Why should I start locking the car now?" WE LIVE IN PARKHEAD YA DAFT COW! The jakey b*****ds round here would steal the shite from your arsehole if it was worth something. My sister left her car open parked in my drive while shes away in Berlin but the idiots nicked my bike with two flat tyres and left her car! She's bloody lucky as live on the edge of Ferguslie Park. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reina Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Looking like the volvo heaven in the sky for our car My sister left her car open parked in my drive while shes away in Berlin but the idiots nicked my bike with two flat tyres and left her car! She's bloody lucky as live on the edge of Ferguslie Park. Sounds like you should have nicked the car! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I don't know what's annoying me more, The c**t that stole the sat-nav from my Maw's car, Or her for leaving it unlocked like a right stupid b*****d."I've lived here for 10 years... Why should I start locking the car now?" WE LIVE IN PARKHEAD YA DAFT COW! The jakey b*****ds round here would steal the shite from your arsehole if it was worth something. Many moons ago I worked in Springfield Road, Parkhead and I had a clapped out Mini Van that spent its life breaking down. I worked out that it was worth more stolen than going to the scrappy and I used to leave it unlocked with a spare key in the ignition. Sure enough, my prayers were answered soon after when I returned to where I had left it, to find an empty space. Went through the reporting it stolen formalities with the Police and contacted my insurance company. My cunning plan was brought to an end, about an hour later when the Police contacted me to advise it had been found abandoned 600 yards away in Helenvale Street. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 My sister left her car open parked in my drive while shes away in Berlin but the idiots nicked my bike with two flat tyres and left her car! She's bloody lucky as live on the edge of Ferguslie Park. Well my mother also seems to think that if you have a driveway then you can leave it unlocked. She only started locking the front door a few years ago too. Many moons ago I worked in Springfield Road, Parkhead and I had a clapped out Mini Van that spent its life breaking down.I worked out that it was worth more stolen than going to the scrappy and I used to leave it unlocked with a spare key in the ignition. Sure enough, my prayers were answered soon after when I returned to where I had left it, to find an empty space. Went through the reporting it stolen formalities with the Police and contacted my insurance company. My cunning plan was brought to an end, about an hour later when the Police contacted me to advise it had been found abandoned 600 yards away in Helenvale Street. I watched someone nick a wheelie bin once. I live in such a nice area! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Decency Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Well my mother also seems to think that if you have a driveway then you can leave it unlocked. She only started locking the front door a few years ago too. I watched someone nick a wheelie bin once. I live in such a nice area! Someone left the front door to my building slightly ajar one night, when I woke up in the morning all the door handles and a lot of the bannister from the stairs was missing. People will steal anything for scrap here 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 My sister left her car open parked in my drive while shes away in Berlin but the idiots nicked my bike with two flat tyres and left her car! She's bloody lucky as live on the edge of Ferguslie Park. In fact, that's just reminded me of an incident that happened about 6 years ago. My bike was gubbed, busrt tires, gubbed saddle, the lot. Anyway, I was sitting downstairs watching telly when I've heard a noise from our backgarden, I looked out the window and never seen anything, So I went back to watching telly. About 5 minutes later I've seen a guy who lives 5 doors up ( who is a bawbag, incidentally ) casually walking down the road with a bike. I never thought anything of it until I clocked the severely dented wheel. Out of curiosity I looked out the back and yes, my bike was gone. This chancer had jumped 4 backgardens ( and we have a big wooden fence thing that's around 8ft high ), nicked my bike, jumped the 4 gardens again and casually walked past my window with it! I ran outside and gave it the old "Haw, whit you dain ya ***** *** ******* ****** *** ****, Geez ma bike back ya ***** **** *** ******** ******", which of course came out as "Eh, that's my bike." His reply was great though "Oh, I didn't know it was yours." A couple of months later this then 20 year old broke my then 15 year old female cousins arm. He's such a hardman. Saying that, my cousins dad introduced him to his 5 iron shortly after. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theentomologist Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 In fact, that's just reminded me of an incident that happened about 6 years ago.My bike was gubbed, busrt tires, gubbed saddle, the lot. Anyway, I was sitting downstairs watching telly when I've heard a noise from our backgarden, I looked out the window and never seen anything, So I went back to watching telly. About 5 minutes later I've seen a guy who lives 5 doors up ( who is a bawbag, incidentally ) casually walking down the road with a bike. I never thought anything of it until I clocked the severely dented wheel. Out of curiosity I looked out the back and yes, my bike was gone. This chancer had jumped 4 backgardens ( and we have a big wooden fence thing that's around 8ft high ), nicked my bike, jumped the 4 gardens again and casually walked past my window with it! I ran outside and gave it the old "Haw, whit you dain ya ***** *** ******* ****** *** ****, Geez ma bike back ya ***** **** *** ******** ******", which of course came out as "Eh, that's my bike." His reply was great though "Oh, I didn't know it was yours." A couple of months later this then 20 year old broke my then 15 year old female cousins arm. He's such a hardman. Saying that, my cousins dad introduced him to his 5 iron shortly after. 5 iron is a good choice, flexible, yet weighty enough for the job. not like say a light wee putter or unweildy driver. well done your cousins dad. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toma_BullyWee Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 5 iron is a good choice, flexible, yet weighty enough for the job.not like say a light wee putter or unweildy driver. well done your cousins dad. Since he found out that that was my Uncle he's been nice to me ever since! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napolean Dynamite Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Many moons ago I worked in Springfield Road, Parkhead and I had a clapped out Mini Van that spent its life breaking down.I worked out that it was worth more stolen than going to the scrappy and I used to leave it unlocked with a spare key in the ignition. Sure enough, my prayers were answered soon after when I returned to where I had left it, to find an empty space. Went through the reporting it stolen formalities with the Police and contacted my insurance company. My cunning plan was brought to an end, about an hour later when the Police contacted me to advise it had been found abandoned 600 yards away in Helenvale Street. Nightmare. Not really a recurring issue. Just ordered two suppers from the chipshop to be delivered forgot to ask for sauce (although they ask you in the shop ) Nae brown sauce in the house either. i had a two minute fit before eating half the supper then flinging it in the bin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotownClic Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 People using the saying "My Bad". Fucking wanks the lot of them 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proud2beabuddy Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Students. I had the misfortune of being an a train full of them earlier and they don't half talk some amount of rubbish. "OMG the weekend was such random banter" 1. The weekend is Friday and Saturday of every week, so hardly random. 2. You wouldn't know banter if it jumped up and cracked you on the jaw you daft cow. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Women who are working for the next three nights and are spending their last night off yakking on the fucking phone to their fucking workmates about fucking work. I'm off to the pub to watch Leeds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laid Back Maverick Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I decided to replace my balding mountain bike tyres with road-types, upgrade the rear mudguard to a something more substantial, and give the spokes a good scrub down. 3 hours later, and completing the job using torchlight, I only need to inflate the tyres. My sister donated me a footpump, so I'm happily stamping away, 55 PSI in the front tyre (max 60) and I take my foot off. The needle keeps rising and...BANG! The inner tube explodes and the sidewall of my shiny new tyre is shredded. Note to self in future, the footpump inflates on both the up- and down-stroke. Oh well...another trip to Halfords tomorrow for (another) new tyre and inner tube. May as well inflate the back tyre. And it won't inflate. Argh! I must've pinched on the rim when I was fitting the new tyre. Not a good night. At least the new mudguard fits well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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