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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Edinburgh and Glasgow. There's really no need.

I agree entirely and stand behind you on this brave proclamation. No need to check, I'm right there, honest :ph34r:

But seriously, how else are we supposed to know where our own towns and cities are without the twin centres of the media world to work out from?

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Fat American's on mobility scooters. I just want to tip the next fucker I see who doesn't need one!

If you would eat less and walk more you wouldn't need the fucking scooter!

They always seem to have a fucking Turkey leg on the go as well. Those big fuckers that look like they're straight out of the Flintstones.

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Fat American's on mobility scooters. I just want to tip the next fucker I see who doesn't need one!

If you would eat less and walk more you wouldn't need the fucking scooter!

Went into a supermarket in Orlando before and I couldn't get up an aisle because 2 like this were parked side by side having a chat. Unreal.

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Wee scabby fuckers that think it's sociably acceptable to stop you in the street and ask you for 50p for the bus.

Tasers should be made legal IMO.

A well known Jakey asked me and my mate for a quid to get to Edinburgh at the train station.

No idea how she would get to Edinburgh for a quid.

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Wee scabby fuckers that think it's sociably acceptable to stop you in the street and ask you for 50p for the bus.

Tasers should be made legal IMO.

A well known Jakey asked me and my mate for a quid to get to Edinburgh at the train station.

No idea how she would get to Edinburgh for a quid.

A jakey once asked me for 10p for a cup of tea. I gave him 20p and told him to get me one too.

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A jakey asked me and my mate for cash outside the subby one night. We questioned his motives for the money, which he replied 'for food'. After which I asked what the money was really for.

'Cider and Blues' was the response, the the jakey got a fiver off each of us for his honesty, and possibly down to the fact we were eccied out our tits.

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I was at The Forge earlier and ended up going to McDonald's (I'm not proud of it, I was starving and had to get back to pick up the kids) and a jakeball asked if I collected the loyalty card stickers off the side of the coffee cups (I don't) and could he have the one from mine. :unsure:

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Years ago I was on my way to a party in Guildford and I had a bottle of vodka in one pocket and a bottle of gin in the other - the gin had been topped off from a couple of other bottles so it was full to the brim. Anyway, at the bus station were the same group of jakeys I used to see every day on the way to and from work and as usual I blethered to them as I waited on my bus. For some reason I decided to give them the bottle of gin. I'll never forget the look of wonderment on the jakey's face as he took the bottle, then the deep suspicion when he realised the seal had been broken. I assured him it wasn't water and the look of joy as he took a deep swig was a wonder to behold. It genuinely made me feel great that he was enjoying the gin so much.

Ok I probably killed the old c**t with a shot of pure alcohol, but still, ken?

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