Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 On the flip side Gaz, there are numerous women who are adult enough to accept that when guys say they are going on a football weekend, then that is exactly what they are doing, and have no qualms about it at all. It will be interesting to see what some of our female posters have to say about this part of the thread. Mrs AFJ likes Saturdays to herself as it is a time for her to do things that I have no interest in and get a little time to herself, so it works both ways in a balanced relationship. I had enough of mad women when I was younger, demanding I spend time with them rather than watch Linfield on a Saturday. Coincidentally, I also had a lot of short relationships back then. I really don't know how anyone puts up with that sort of nonsense? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 This forum has a few women members, any of them want to jump in and comment on this subject? It's got to the stage now that young guys will have to hand future girlfriends a contract to sign upon dating that they will not act all cool and carefree at the beginning, only to turn into a nightmare once the guy is well and truly hooked. Do people not understand that we all arrive on this planet the same way and we all leave dead. You do not have any right to control other people in the time in between. To guys who are having a shite time of it with controlling girlfriends or now realising after reading all this that they're in a broken relationship, I urge you to remember that life is very short. To make matters worse you probably want to make the most of the part when you're young enough to enjoy life. It's no good having the courage once you're 50 to kick her out and realise your mates now don't want to do all the stuff you missed out on. It would be pretty shitty to wake up old and think you've spent your life taking that psychos pish and missing out on the good times your mates were having, purely because you were afraid to dump her or afraid nobody else would have you. Young hearts, run free... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I now live with my girlfriend of five years, as soon as we moved in together she piled on weight. She also does my fucking head in, I look forward to nights she's working late so I can go in and not have to listen to her pish. It struck me when my colleague asked me, "getting your hole the night then?" and I replied "not if I can help it". It's too far gone, I can't get rid. Don't do it, seriously don't. This is fucking mental. My wife rips my knitting on regular occasions but I love her to bits and wouldn't want to be apart from her. Man up for f**k's sake. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I now live with my girlfriend of five years, as soon as we moved in together she piled on weight. She also does my fucking head in, I look forward to nights she's working late so I can go in and not have to listen to her pish. It struck me when my colleague asked me, "getting your hole the night then?" and I replied "not if I can help it". It's too far gone, I can't get rid. Don't do it, seriously don't. I can't believe what I'm reading. If you are living with someone, but look forward to when they're not home then get the f**k out. Now. Or get her the f**k out. That's a recipe for complete and utter disaster. Jesus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead81 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 My tuppence worth would be as follows: I think some people do stay in unhappy relationships, often for different reasons. I know of a guy who "isn't allowed to text girls" and equally a lassie whose husband picks out all of her clothes, for example. Me? I personally wouldn't stand for that. I don't check OH phone, nor he with mine. I think it is important that people have their own time and interests rather than being joined at the hip all the time. I maybe come across (unintentionally) a wee bit cold here, I don't mean to. I had a very bad break up of an engagement years ago which, although stung at the time, really made me a stronger person and I know I would be totally fine by myself if it ever came to it. It also meant that I stood on my own two feet and bought my own house etc before I met anyone else. In short? I totally echo the person who said life is too precious to stay in a relationship where you aren't happy. By all means, take time to try and fix problems, but ultimately if you know it isn't going to work it is best to move on (in my opinion) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) See the hypocrisy of PnB, poor Gav is trapped in a loveless relationship and can't see a way out. He posts here and gets the pish ripped. If he'd put it on the depressing thread it would have been....aw Gav, PM if you need to talk...day or night. Anyway, get a grip ya weed. Edited July 9, 2015 by Sergeant Wilson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 As much as I love my other half, I absolutely love when she works til late evening so I can have a few hours to myself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aufc Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I now live with my girlfriend of five years, as soon as we moved in together she piled on weight. She also does my fucking head in, I look forward to nights she's working late so I can go in and not have to listen to her pish. It struck me when my colleague asked me, "getting your hole the night then?" and I replied "not if I can help it". It's too far gone, I can't get rid. Don't do it, seriously don't. Sort yourself oot 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I agree. Mrs AFJ and I do not share a huge crossover in the way of musical tastes, so I relax by playing some of my favourites whilst she is at work, like right now. I also w@nk like a chimp. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 All that weight she's put on has crushed his soul. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Obviously you don't want to be joined at the hip, but there's a difference between loving it when your other half isn't home, or looking forward to them not being home and enjoying some alone time every now and then. Looking forward to it or loving it says to me you ain't right for each other. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Can't agree old chum, it's a great match of nearly twenty years standing and I wouldn't swop her for less than millions upon millions of pounds. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Obviously you don't want to be joined at the hip, but there's a difference between loving it when your other half isn't home, or looking forward to them not being home and enjoying some alone time every now and then. Looking forward to it or loving it says to me you ain't right for each other. You're only saying that because she will see it and you want an easy life. None of us really like our other halfs do we... Edited July 9, 2015 by mattydfc 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 All that weight she's put on has crushed his soul. My soul, like me, was sold very cheaply a long time ago. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I know guys who fit into a couple of those tropes – one of them will stay with a burd he actively hates for a couple of years until he’s got another one on the go, putting himself through a world of shite because he’s absolutely terrified of being on his tod for a few months. Likewise, another one did a complete disappearing act the minutes he started seeing his now ex, basically cutting himself off from everybody and being totally dismissive anytime he was invited anywhere. Needless to say, there was eventually trouble in paradise and the minute he was back on his own he was constantly onto everybody attempting to recreate his social life of 10-12 years ago and wondering why folk had moved on from it. He’d obviously given so little though to his “mates” over the intervening years that he thought their lives would be preserved in aspic to take up when he’d left off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 As much as I love my other half, I absolutely love when she works til late evening so I can have a few hours to myself. Having time to yourself is vital 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 You're only saying that because she will see it and you want an easy life. None of us really like our other halfs do we... Nonsense, I'm not under the thumb like you dear boy. © 14 Mile. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) I think it's too easy to judge relationships from the outside. For example, my ex husband appeared to be the kind of man that had to put up with all kinds of shite from me because I always looked like I was nagging him. What no one else saw was that he used to complain at me for eating my dinner in the wrong order, we'd buy the cheapest of cheap food to eat while he spent money on protein powder and creatine every week, I spent my evenings alone while he went out to the gym, running and so on (which doesn't sound bad in itself but it meant we never actually spent ANY time together at all) we barely spoke, and when we did, it was him complaining that we never did anything. Eventually, it got to the stage that I was lonely, bored, on antidepressants and thoroughly bloody miserable, hating my life, hating him, never having a conversation with anyone other than the kids. When i told him I'd had enough and wanted to split up, he decided that the best course of action was to then belittle me, tell everyone, including my family, that I had basically lost the plot, I was useless, I was a terrible mother and wife and that it was me that was the bad guy in everything. There's two sides to everything, I guess. It's left me very insecure with myriad problems with social anxiety and self-esteem issues which mean I can be a bit batshit and really introverted at times but I'm mostly pretty normal nowadays. Anyway, I'm not suggesting that all these girlfriends are as fucked up as that but I usually wonder what other issues people have before immediately writing them off as mental. Edited July 9, 2015 by Mrs M 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I think it's too easy to judge relationships from the outside. For example, my ex husband appeared to be the kind of man that had to put up with all kinds of white from me because I always looked like I was nagging him. What no one else saw was that he used to complain at me for eating my dinner in the wrong order, we'd buy the cheapest of cheap food to eat while he spent money on protein powder and creatine every week, I spent my evenings alone while he went out to the gym, running and so on (which doesn't sound bad in itself but it meant we never actually spent ANY time together at all) we barely spoke, and when we did, it was him complaining that we never did anything. Eventually, it got to the stage that I was lonely, bored, on antidepressants and thoroughly bloody miserable, hating my life, hating him, never having a conversation with anyone other than the kids. When i told him I'd had enough and wanted to split up, he decided that the best course of action was to then belittle me, tell everyone, including my family, that I had basically lost the plot, I was useless, I was a terrible mother and wife and that it was me that was the bad guy in everything. There's two sides to everything, I guess. It's left me very insecure with myriad problems with social anxiety and self-esteem issues which mean I can be a bit batshit and really introverted at times but I'm mostly pretty normal nowadays. Anyway, I'm not suggesting that all these girlfriends are as fucked up as that but I usually wonder what other issues people have before immediately writing them off as mental. The point about underlying issues causing these behaviours is an interesting one, and shouldn't be discounted. However, I would still suggest that for persons on the inside of an unhappy relationship to make positive changes for their own good. Whatever form those may take. There really is nothing worthwhile to be gained from staying miserable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 The point about underlying issues causing these behaviours is an interesting one, and shouldn't be discounted. However, I would still suggest that for persons on the inside of an unhappy relationship to make positive changes for their own good. Whatever form those may take. There really is nothing worthwhile to be gained from staying miserable. I completely agree. It's not always easy but it's possible. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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