CLANCY2KTID Posted June 29, 2012 Share Posted June 29, 2012 I now feel sorry for poor/smelly kids as its not their fault that they were born into junkie/alcoholic families. But other kids don't understand, as I didn't, and rip the poor wee buggers to death. They have no chance in life at all really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Troll Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 anyone seen the old guy in the sandeman in perth? the guy walks around scraping chewing gum up and gets paid pints, seen him dancing in mill street last weekend harmless enough mind you, also seen him walking around with a wee radio up against his ear. He's a hero! get's paid pints for collecting glasses, I once had a "dance off " with him in The Sandeman ending with us hugging and the lassie I was out with looking at me in disgust, was worth it though. Think he live's in Bridgend somewhere as I seen him walking over the Bridge with a plastic bag. There's a homeless guy who walks over the Perth Bridge aswell, I've seen him three times on the bridge and I'm almost certain he lives under it. First time I saw him he was arguing with a Samaritans sign, ending up in him swinging a punch at it, sadly the signs on a pole so he thumped the pole, got a shock and fell on his arse. Just as the lights changed I heard him shout "f**k ye! I'll be back ya wee c**t!" Next time I saw him he was shaking his fist at the river shouting something, and then just recently I seen him jumping off the kerb before running back to the wall, clutching it, looking about and collapsing with laughter. No idea who he is and nobody else seems to have seen him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie03 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Jimmy the Bus is still "driving" around Elgin's pavements. Haha! I wonder if he works for the same imaginary bus company as Daft Davie fi Mountfleurie! http://pub10.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=849684916&frmid=8&msgid=1261051&cmd=show - read this thread on AFTN for more on him and other cracking stories! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie03 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Eck Rubby Haunds. Walks up and down Leven High Street rubbing his hands. The arsehole wi the owl. Walks aboot the town wi this owl chained to his hand. Sure he charges money to get your photo taken with it. Not really a Leven one as such, because he just seems to have appeared. Daft Davie. Drove about Leven in his imaginary bus - complete with air brakes! Spotted this ginger spackmunch a few times when I've been on the bus in Kirkcaldy. Gets on the bus in a random part of the scheme. Talks to the driver like he's his pal. Gets off in another random part of the scheme and gets on the bus going the opposite direction. Ginger, scruffy beard, thinks he's a rapper - Eminem type clothes and swagger, specs, mid 20's? A complete razzlespangle. Mentioned him to a few folk and heard he buys a Fife Dayrider and just jumps on and off the buses all day. Chesney Bushopper is one of the names I've heard. Any Raith fans know who I'm on about? Is Jesus Saves still on the go? Mind he used to try and spoil awbdy's fun at the Tinks Market! Think he belonged Burntisland way, but used walk up and down Kirkcaldy High Street wi his sandwich board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 1341048552[/url]' post='6388005']Is Jesus Saves still on the go? Mind he used to try and spoil awbdy's fun at the Tinks Market! Think he belonged Burntisland way, but used walk up and down Kirkcaldy High Street wi his sandwich board. "SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE = HELL AFTER DEATH!" Who'd want to go to Heaven? Less chance of slags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GypsyTillIDie Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 My school had the Smelly Kellys (Kelly being their last name). There was about 4 of them, and the youngest was in my year at school. First day of secondary and she wore a skirt with no socks, and her legs were all hairy. She had minging orange teeth and stunk of every possible horrible smell combined. Apparently shat herself in PE and everyone knew it was her because she left her pants in the showers and had her name written on them. Used to only hang about with her older brothers who all, including her, had mean 'taches. She got took out of our school in 3rd year because girls were picking on her so much and she didn't even say a word back; only time I saw her mum was at the school office wearing the girl's jacket, clearly shared it and it was too small for both of them. Last I seem her was in the Parkhead Asda and the full family were there stinking out the fruit & veg aisle. Loads of town characters where I live, but the one closest to me is this old imsomniac woman who, every night between 12-6am goes around picking litter in my streets and the surrounding area. Never see her unless it's pitch black, carries big cardboard boxes as if she's moving offices rather than litter picking. Also a guy on the Rutherglen Main Street that has one of those electric wheelchairs and regularly drives about naked scaring everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam_Jambo14 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Bathgate has three I can think of. Toothless Mark. A regular visitor to Bathgate's finest nightclub "The Twig" on a Saturday night. Goes by himself, doesn't seem to have any other pals and gets his groove on non stop all night. Doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Has no teeth, hence the nickname and very rarely speaks, just communicates with hand gestures. Hardly ever seen outside of the twig. Possibly never leaves. Paedo Joe. Kicks about Bathgate most days, going from play park to play park asking wee kids for a kickabout. Has worn the same blazer every day for at least 15 years. Looks like he bought his face in a joke shop (moustache, big black glasses). Occasionally seen with a sidekick but nobody knows who this other fella is. Mental Dorothy. Wee old woman in Bathgate. Speaks to anyone and everyone she meets. Keeps asking folk if they're going on holiday to Ibiza. Think she's a bit lonely. Most folk tend to give her the time of day though and one of the cafe's in Bathgate even threw her a birthday party. Also, when I lived in the West End of Glasgow at Uni I used to see an auld fella in a kilt (complete with glengarry), with his dog, sitting having a drink in the Old Schoolhouse pub at the bottom of Gibson Street. Used to see him every single day at roughly the same time for a year. Anyone else seen this guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie03 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 All this talk of the school minks has brought the memories flooding back! In the 90's, if your parents were hard working people, you got ordinary adidas, Nike or Reebok trainers. If you were a spoilt little shit, you got Nike Air Max, adidas Torsion or Reebok Pump trainers. Usually a new pair every month - the type of dickhead who got their team's (usually Rangers, Manchester United, Scotland AND an Italian team) strip the day they came out - Home AND Away, as well as a mountain bike/ Sega Mega Drive instead of an Easter egg. Then you had the tinks. Their shoes were rarely brand new and almost always were HiTec. On the occasion that a pair of Nike Air Max trainers would find their way into the family - this would cause great amusement. Being second hand, they'd be a bit scruffy anyway, but after a few weeks they would be totally wrecked. They'd be walking about with the heels totally wedged and burst air bubbles! I did like making fun out of "fake" brands - not in a bullying way, more laughing at them when we got dragged round the shops. I remember my mate came in with a pair of Trax trainers from Freeman Hardy Willis. They were meant to look like Nike Air Jordans - with hard plastic imitation air bubble. Oh how we laughed at his Trax Air Max/ Trax Air Jonathans! I remember pleading with my mum for a pair of Nike Air Huarache trainers. She spotted (what she thought was) an identical pair of Nicks in the window of ShoeFayre. I left Kirkcaldy with nothing that day and a foot up the arse from my dad when I got home! I always wanted a pair of Nike Air Max, but was told in no uncertain terms that my dad would be spending £120 on a pair of trainers for me to kick stones and cans in. I couldn't get my head round it at the time. I remember it was coming up for my mates birthday and we were looking through the Sports Shoes Unlimited catalogue that you used to get in Shoot! picking out the trainers we'd have. At the time, you got Nike, Nike Air (no bubble), Nike Air (with bubble), Nike Air Max in various forms - big side air bubbles, air bubbles round the back of the heel etc etc. There was one pair he saw that he was going to ask for. They were Nike Air Max 93's and had a massive air bubble that went all the way round the heel. They were about £60 (in the sale!), but he tried to justify this to his mum by saying "but look how much air yer gettin." with a completely straight face. I obviously didn't think it was funny at the time and completely agreed with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiemunster Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Clayderman - mental guy who held his hands in an unnatural pose infront of his chest, as if he were playing an invisible piano. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilbowie's Finest Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Sam I now live in sunny Bathgate as well and have heard tales of a mysterious character called "Torchy" Miller who is apparently banned from all the petrol stations in the town as he used to drink the petrol? :unsure: - does he exist Sam or is he just an urban myth?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Also a guy on the Rutherglen Main Street that has one of those electric wheelchairs and regularly drives about naked scaring everyone. This guy is a legend! I grew up in Muirhead, which is about six miles from Glasgow. We had a guy called Jackie Brady, who would go around the doors collecting ginger bottles. Rumour went that even though he was a tramp, his house was massive and immaculate inside, which wouldn't surprise me as he must have made a mint with the amount of folk that would give him a few bottles just to get rid of him. He couldn't really speak, and the rumour to that was that some guys held him down one night and slashed the inside of his mouth quite badly. No idea why they would have went for his mouth right enough. He was a harmless guy. I moved away years ago but last I heard he was still on the go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Kim, a busker who has no musical talent and sells tinky trinkets from his stall. He rides his bike into shops and is a complete, utter, total c**t who should be put in jail. he apparantly a very good mountain biker and does loads of stuff for charity. youre the c**t Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunfellaff Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 My school had the Smelly Kellys (Kelly being their last name). There was about 4 of them, and the youngest was in my year at school. First day of secondary and she wore a skirt with no socks, and her legs were all hairy. She had minging orange teeth and stunk of every possible horrible smell combined. Apparently shat herself in PE and everyone knew it was her because she left her pants in the showers and had her name written on them. Used to only hang about with her older brothers who all, including her, had mean 'taches. She got took out of our school in 3rd year because girls were picking on her so much and she didn't even say a word back; only time I saw her mum was at the school office wearing the girl's jacket, clearly shared it and it was too small for both of them. Last I seem her was in the Parkhead Asda and the full family were there stinking out the fruit & veg aisle. Thats not a town character, thats a poor wee lass imo. School folk shouldn't be included imo, start a new thread for school minks Growing up there was a guy called 'Willie', no funny moniker or owt, would do a forward roll in the main street cars coming or not for two bob (10p). Stuck his knob in a hole in the putting green down the front for the same two bob. When I was old 'nuff for pubs he was there drinking free pints of slops, hell, I even saw somebody piss in one and he drank it for 50p. shudder...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Falkirk also has pyscho stevie as he is affectionately known, barred from drinking in every pub in the town, allegedly ran passed a queue at the old cinema, naked pleasuring himself. When I was working in Btw one night he was in and wondering around as was his way, he was at this point leaving Jesus calling cards on all the tables, so I goes up to him and said he had to leave at this point he reaches for another card to give to me, he had none left so instead gave me his libary card and walked off, that library card may possibly still be behind the bar. He is a fucking pyscho. Pyscho Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lithgierose Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 ffs falkirk's had a few eh.the guy with the boogie box,might have been two of them?.the other being from g/mouth had tourettes a think. cogey from camelon got pished on blackcurrant juice in a nip glass and a regular trooser wetter.. wullie carson,the redding rail yard.spare beer spare bee was his motto .found dead in the swiss bogs. thirty bob betty.dock fairy auld scank .and the guy with the handlebar moustache,seated at steeple with super lager.was indeed a very bright man (once) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 he apparantly a very good mountain biker and does loads of stuff for charity. youre the c**t just cause kim does stuff for charity doesnt make him a good guy, was ready to give my mate a kicking for saying 'watch where we are walking, we may end up standing on something valuable' when they were doing up the street outside bk where he sold his crap.. apparently my mate had insulted his wares hadnt even said it in a snidey way, just saying to watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie_B Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 anyone seen the old guy in the sandeman in perth? the guy walks around scraping chewing gum up and gets paid pints, seen him dancing in mill street last weekend harmless enough mind you, also seen him walking around with a wee radio up against his ear. theres another in the moncrieffe arms that was christened "corpsy" by the barstaff, and would rant about many random things, he was about 70, and he pointed at my pal screamin "you look like a stinkin german". jean rattray was a legend in perth, many wild tales about her. my favourite two however are: she walked into a restaurant reeking of pish & cider, stole someones steak of the table and ran out the restaurant with it in her mouth. and the other one was that she tried to die her hair with permanent marker. when she died the jakies had a shrine of super tennent cans, bucky bottles, and flowers outside the post office, they wen away and came back an hour later and nicked all the drink back I was about to type out a post but it woul essentially have been these three. Though my favourite moncrieffe arms character has to be Raymond the barman. I always feel sorry for the boy in sandeman-he picks up your empties which the staff never seem to do. Does he get anything in return? They should be paying him, frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fife Saint Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Jean Rattray used to sit at the back of my old work and sing away in the summer. Voice of an angel. There's a boy thats kick about Kirky who has a radio strapped to his head rather than earphones. He listens to Clyde 2. We call him Radiohead and i've heard others refer to him as that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie03 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Was telling my mate about this thread and he told me the story about a guy he used to work with. Don't know if he's a "Town Character" or just a f***ing wierdo. The tales of Smelly Jeek: Thursday night was Curry Night at work. About an hour after piece time had finished, my mate looked over to the other machine and saw Smelly Jeek cocking his leg - obviously letting out a big ripper. 30 seconds later, he f***s off out of the factory, walking funny. 2 minutes later, Big Paul the machinist comes over to my mate's machine and asks "Where the f*** did that c*** go? He's just left the f***ing machine running!" No sign of Smelly Jeek. It comes to the half 11 piece break and my mate, the gaffer and co are having a fag. Tam the gate man comes across and says to the gaffer "What happened to Jeek?" The gaffer, not knowing that he'd f***ed off home, replied "Eh?!". -"Jeek's away up the road. Said he's had an accident. I asked him if he'd written it in the accident book, but he just said no and ran out the gate." My mate and Kenny who both worked through in the same side of the factory as Jeek then burst out laughing, pishing themselves because they'd realised that the smelly b***ard had shat his pants!!!! Another one. You didn't always have curry on Curry Night, sometimes you had a fish supper. My mate: "You hain a fish supper Jeek?" Jeek: "Naw. The only fish al be eatin's the fanny batter!" General nearing the weekend smoke hut chat. One o the boys: "Gawn oot on the pish this weekend Jeek?" Jeek: "No me son. The only pish al be drinkin this weekend's the pussy juice." The guy was a total skeg and wore the same jeans aw day, every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MassiveFanDan Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Only one I'm familiar with so far is the big guy with the ghetto blaster in Falkirk. He was literally famous, just for sitting up the high street with a ghetto blaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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