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5 True Statements About Yourself...


Silvio

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1: I have never lived in Dumfries, and don't ever intend to.

2: I'm an arrogant, smug, lazy bast*rd

3: I would much rather play cricket than football

4: I am totally inept and an eternal pessimist when it comes to woman

5: My physical appearence is often compares to Alan Carr, this may or may not cause number 4

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1). I think I'd get on with most people on this thread.

2). I really don't like racists.

3). If I could drop a huge fucking bomb on Fort William, I'd only tell about two people that live here that I was doing it.

4). Both of my ex wives say they'd have me back.

5). For my first report card in my third year, my grades were fucking awful, so for the second part of the year I studied like fuck in the local library and came in the top four for every subject that I sat. My dad accused me of being a cheat.

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I'm a compulsive swearer. My every second word is a profanity and my catchphrase, I'm told, is "gonae geez' peace".

I have absolutely no livelihood out with watching and playing football.

I would genuinely rather bathe in a pool of my own pish than do anything productive with my life; the eight weeks between my leaving school and doing what I do now were, I swear, the best of my life. I done absolutely nothing. Waking in the afternoons, going to sleep in the wee hours.

I'm a plumber. (Que responce; 'That would explain your third point' :P)

I don't think I would come across anything like I do on here in reality.

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1-I have lost 3 stone in weight in 10 months without dieting

2-I have been in the papers for a certain piece of driving :ph34r:

3-I drink to much

4-We today got a kitten and my son came up with the name Fanta :huh:

5-I have done a good few things in life i am not proud of

Smack, sulph or coke?

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I have a faith, and believe in re-incarnation, but think religion is a lot of fairy stories.

After I split from my ex, I let my two best mates watch the home movie I had secretly made of us, then stuck it on youporn. And no, I'm not yelling you lot which one it is.

I have had sex on the boss's desk in the last 3 jobs, but not at the current one.

I have appeared on the front page of my local paper, although it was for a car crash.

I have taken recreational drugs for more years than some posters have been alive.

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Quite enjoyed reading this thread, quite intresting in what I have found out.

Amazed at amount of casual drug users, or maybe I am just blind to it all going on round me.

Was really interested/fascinated by one posters comments.

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Was really interested/fascinated by one posters comments.

Yer still not getting to know lol!

Drugs should be legalised, controlled and taxed. Take the criminal element out of it, and you wuld a - see a lot less people take them and b - free up space in prison and release resources (police) to go chase actual criminals.

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Yer still not getting to know lol!

Drugs should be legalised, controlled and taxed. Take the criminal element out of it, and you wuld a - see a lot less people take them and b - free up space in prison and release resources (police) to go chase actual criminals.

Totally agree, don't worry it is only a matter of time in my opinion.

It would also get a lot of drug users off the streets and into secure facilities, as well as carefully monitoring the content and quality of drugs (sometimes they are mixed with rat poision). As well as getting all those drug dealers off the street.

A good thing for all concerned :)

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Some of these comments are brilliant and have inspired me once again to add more.

1 - I am a very skillful driver and I would like to be able to drive at 120mph whenever I want without fear of being caught by the polis because I know I won't crash through any fault of my own.

2 - After a CIS Cup game at Hampden, Queen's Park v Hibs, I got totally blootered, went into the Tesco at Corstorphine and put 2 big bottles of vodka in my pockets and walked around the shop eating out of a huge bag of Hula Hoops. The security staff chased me around the shop for 20 minutes while the polis were on their way. They eventually rugby tackled me and I'm led to believe I was fighting with one of the polis dudes. This was all witnessed by my mate who prompting denied he knew who I was to escape questioning. I remember none of this.

Amazingly the Procurator Fiscal let me away with theft, being drunk & disorderly, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. This would not have been my first offence which is even more amazing. I still have the letter confirming this somewhere, I think I'll have a look for it...

3 - For some weird reason, when I'm on my own and watching or doing something really funny, I barely laugh even though I know it's hilarious. But if I'm with at least one person I would be laughing my c**t off at it :huh:

4 - I generally hate people, I can't be arsed talking to people I don't know and most of the time when I'm with people I know I would rather they spark up conversation because I just couldn't give f*ck about letting other people hear what I have to say. If I do find myself in a position where I'm in the company of other people I can come across as quite a bubbly person because I can react brilliantly as long as other people make the effort to create good conversation. Basically, I would burn in a group of people similar to me.

5 - I am a very very very forgiving person. If somebody done soemthing to piss me off I would probably say it's cool and get on with it.

f**k it I'll add more.

6 - I never want to live in any city other than Edinburgh and will do almost anything to ensure I never have to move away for long.

7 - I swear all the time. I also use the word "fucking" when I'm trying to remember something. "Aye, I'll have a 70cl of Jack Daniel's and 4 bottles of that ehhhhh...... fucking....... Miller, cheers."

8 - When I done my first practical driving test, I made a perfectly safe and legal lane-change to get into the correct position for the upcoming busy roundabout. The examiner grabbed the wheel and hauled me back into the initial lane, which means I've failed. I calmly stayed quiet until we reached the traffic lights at the roundabout, put the handbrake on and waited for him to explain his actions. He came up with some complete twaddle about not checking the blind-spot quick enough (which I did), so after holding up the traffic for a while I went straight back to the test centre, called him a w****r and gave him the finger.

Edited by Vanquinho.
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1, I've had a few accidents in my time. I cut my eye lid in a bike/car accident. Whilst trying to escape from an angry wee boys mum my bike lost grip, slid sideways, hit a car. The bull bars from my bike sliced across my eye-lid. I'm quite lucky I'm not blind I guess. I broke my arm in Nursery. I jumped from the top of the climbing frame. A mate from primary school jumped from a garage whilst I was lying on the ground, he then tucked into a ball and his knee landed on my face. He broke my nose.

2, I once won £50 from sunnyD. I remember picking up 1 of 3 bottles- 1 for me, 1 for sister1 & 1 for sister2. I read it then swapped bottles then won. :lol: I bought a pair of rollerblades and gave £20 to my mum.

3, I like to plan ahead, even whilst on holiday. I hate being late especially when i've made a timed plan.

4, I love going on holiday, seeing different cultures ect. The different way of life amazes me.

5, I once got excluded from school for making a petition to get rid of a teacher, it read: "Sign here to get rid of the fat ginge". The whole class signed it but when I was sticking it on the board she caught me and accused me of racism. My mum still doesn't know, my dad or I never told her.

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Guest dougalldogg

Screw it Ill add another 5 too.

1. At the same time as loving rap music and being accused by many as being a 'wigger' for some of things I say and clothes I wear etc I love racist jokes and could be accused for being incredibly racist with some of the remarks I come out with. I personally just find it part of my humour.

2. I could have had 2 children by the age I am now, but have had 2 different gf's who had abortions neither of which I am happy with now, these 2 girls now have children with other guys and have only just turned 20.... what does that say about me? lol

3. I have a ridiculous obsession with the deaths of 2pac and Biggie, its so bad I have spent hours on end reading articles online about them, infact from where Im sitting just now I can see 2 different Dvd documentaries about it.

4. I cannot save money for shit, when I get it instead of putting it into savings accounts etc I will buy things, things I dont even need for no apparent reason, just the other day I bought brown hair dye, I have absolutely no plans of dying my hair, supose I was drunk when I bought it......

5. I am a compulsive liar when it comes to women, I will lie about things I dont even need to lie about.

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