pozbaird

I had him sussed. He’s pish.

Advert watch (again). I might not want a Rolex, or a Kia EV9, but I want a pair of those Adidas 360 shoes.

…and there’s a cheeky wee double bogey. I sensed it, he was getting away with murder earlier.

These adverts… how fcuking ugly is that Kia EV9 electric SUV thing?

I just have a feeling that Scheffler has a right daft hole in his ‘wheelhouse’ today, or tomorrow. A mental triple-bogey that opens the whole thing up. Just a feeling I’m getting. Time will tell.

Right, that’s it. I want a Callaway AI Smoke driver, delivered to me in a new BMW i5 Touring.

I’m not seeing this as a Scheffler shoe-in. He’s gotten away with a few things here already today. The free drop being one. I’m not buying into the ‘walk in the park’ narrative here. Yet.

The commentators are going on a fair bit about some players aiming to hit the ball away from any trouble, while others aim AT the trouble, and ‘work the ball away from it’. Am I missing something bleedin’ obvious? In either case, isn’t the goal to NOT hit the ball into the trouble? Does it matter a flying fcuk which way you are attempting to do it? Personally, my approach is to aim AWAY from the trouble, but the fcuking ball ‘works its way into it’ anyway.

Fresh caff-eee? Also, if any of you chunts were thinking of buying me a Rolex for Christmas, gonnae’ make it a Tag Heuer instead? Ta.

Did McGinley really just say ‘Rory isn’t a factor in this year’s Masters’? Surely at +3, if he gets off to a fast start tomorrow…

VAR.

Tiger (and Andy Murray) should move onto the next stages of their lives IMHO.

They all are. I couldn’t get to sleep last night for thinking about Tony Finau in Delta first class, wearing a twenty grand Rolex.

Those overhead drone shots of the course - feckin’ different world from the one I operate in. Something tells me the Augusta members don’t have to play off mats onto winter greens very often.

This 3D computer generated Augusta course model and a wobbly fly-through of its trees is awesome. Wow, what an addition to my enjoyment of golf on TV. Kunts should do one for Cawder GC… and here’s the Par 5 7th hole, tough drive over the carry-out bags and White Lightning cans discarded at the weekend by the young local team…

Maybe the SPFL will tell Dundee they need to play every fixture away from home, to ensure the season finishes before Glasgow hosts the Commonwealth Games in 2026. Now that the routine gubbing by an ugly is over, time for Smurrrn to re-focus. Two things only now matter IMHO. Us finishing 5th, and Sellik pumping Aberdeen out the cup, quick smartish.

Had £30.33 in my Bet365 account. Stuck £30 on different Grand National bets for me and family members. Stuck my last 33p on….

These games genuinely never do define a diddy team’s season. Get in, get out, take the defeat, just hope the goal difference doesn’t take a massive hit. I never even go to home games against them, so there’s one season ticket holder’s seat that qualifies for the ‘could there be a resale scheme for ST holders’ debate. Defeatist? Couldn’t give a flying fcuk. Don’t want to be anywhere near either support either. Who are we playing next? I’ll be up for that one. Unless it’s the other cheek.

You look out a pair of jeans, getting ready to go out, and the phone rings. By the time you get through the phone call and head back upstairs, well, fcuk me, never saw that coming. Much.

The shirt today has a different shirt ‘sponsor’ as the game is centred around a partnership with the RNID. The mascots at the game today are all deaf, or have hearing issues. There’s some sort of ‘haptic’ thing going on that allows deaf fans to hear the crowd noise. I have no idea how that works. To accomodate this one-off RNID thing, it looks like they’ve used their European shirt to do it with. That one has to have a patch on the back for UEFA rules. I learned this during the week when using my iPhone.

Some comments here that I was actually thinking very similar thoughts about just before heading to bed… The leaders could be on -6 heading into the weekend, and if McIlroy was on +5, the Sky wallopers would be telling us Rory isn’t out of this, if he gets off to a fast start on Saturday and gets six holes-in-one on the front nine then anything could happen. Just no, you p***ks.

I don’t mind if it’s late November to late February, and it’s the wonderful combination of winter tees, winter greens, mats, or moving the ball into the rough - if I can get out in this period and it’s just for the exercise really, and to get some sort of battering a ball around done. March 1st to November 30th though - I’m always hopeful that it will be ‘proper golf’ the whole way. You have to have hope.

I’ve got a seniors singles tie to play at Kirkintilloch before April 22nd, and haven’t played for three weeks now. Course has either been closed, a mudbath if open, or, on the odd day recently where not too bad underfoot, I’ve been busy with other stuff. Kirkintilloch are good at engaging online with the membership, and this year, I’ve never known so much rain or so many ‘course status update’ e-mails from the club. One day recently the early morning message was ‘course closed due to flooding, next inspection at 10am’. Then it changed to ‘course open, please use mats, 14th & 15th holes remain closed’. Then it started pishing down again and they sent another ‘course closed’ message. Then opened up again for a bit late afternoon. I reckon the greenkeepers were a baw’ hair away from telling the committee to issue an e-mail saying ‘course closed for the remainder of April - will try opening up again in May. Bye bye, we’re away to the pub’… and I wouldn’t have blamed them. In summary - it’s wet. Very, very wet.

No lap of honour due to kuntery and rucking with the Sevco = doesn’t count either. What you really want is to win it with your fans going mental, doing a full lap of honour, being the last team to take home with you the genuine, original Scottish Cup, and, should you also be the last team to win it with an all-Scottish team…. Well, I say, that one counts. Hell, we might even have been the last team to win it with the old square shaped Hampden posts in place too. Don’t quote me on that one. Bottom line, ours counted.

Was walking through an Asda today to get something, and this kids book on a shelf just caught my eye. I swear I haven’t moved it, it was sat on the shelf just as you see…. steady lads, steady, the last letter wasn’t a ‘Y’…. I checked. …and breathe.