Hedgecutter

Here we go The opinion of anyone who thinks that Greenock isn't on the west coast is completely irrelevant.

On the worst whisky subject, there's a hands-down winner for this regardless of your taste and the award goes to the Glen Breton (thankfully Canada's only malt whisky). Seriously, don't even bother wasting your money trying it. If you're going to do that, try the Japanese malts - they're usually damn good. Quite like the Mackmyra (mac-mee-ra) from Sweden too. Funny how they try and make these things sound as Scottish as possible. Think Glen Breton got a slap on the wrists a while back over making themselves sound deceptively Scottish but no idea what came of it. Difficult to stop a place in Nova Scotia of all places sounding Scottish I guess.

So far there are only two drams which I prefer water with and it's two or three drips from the tap. I'm the sort of guy that eats marmite from the jar though. I like to taste what I'm having.

When I first got into whisky, I absolutely hated Laphroaig and avoided it for years. I later found that this was because whenever I'd tried it in a pub, the barman had put a bit of ice in it and even if you take it out straight away, it stills has a massive influence on the taste. Having it neat however, it's one of my favourite drams. Trying not to be too snobbish, I get the feeling that a lot of folk are just trying the heavilly marketed ones in the pub (Highland Park / Laphraoig / Lagavulin / Glenfiddich / Glenmorangie & Talisker). IMO there's a reason they have to be marketed so much and there's so many better ones to be found. One of the best whisky pubs I know of is luckilly on my doorstep in Aberdeen (The Grill) but it's nothing compared to the Grouse Inn which is a lone bar out in the Cabrach, Moray. The selection is spectacular (and they do a fine meal too ).

The Glenmorangie La Santa (sherry cask) is one of my favourites actually.

I've got two bottles of the 1998 in the cupboard but it's nowhere near as good as the '94. The select reserve is always a secret mix of a whole bunch of stuff and it changes so much year to year, I should know as my partner's dad is a stillman there. Islay's my favourite region by far but my malt of the moment goes to the Glendronach 15yo, just superb.

magee84 Reminds me of 'Larsson' on here a few years back.

Folk waiting for the bus who all block up the pavement and then look at you in disgust when you want to pass them without having to walk onto the road.

Gordon's G&T in a can. Could do with an extra half measure of gin, but it's pretty good for a first try. On the train and a Raven Ale awaits :-)

So much pressure that you thought a quick faff on P&B would be a good idea?

I've been refused a number of times because my 23 yo brother's been there. Usually I go up to buy booze with no issue but as soon as he makes an appearance then they decide to ID both of us. He has ID but I don't have any unless I carry my passport around and they always use this excuse of "if we ID one of you then we have to ID both". I was able to legally buy booze a whole decade ago! Utter bollocks.

Rail telephone staff telling you that your tickets will be ready to collect immediately only for you to hang about the station for over 3 hrsfor them to become available meaning you miss your trains and lose that away day you were looking forward to.

Recognition to the Johnny Walker team as well who have managed to convince most of the world that Johnny Walker is the best 'Scotch' available when it's a load of blended rubbish... imo. They're both Diageo anyway to the best of my knowledge so probably have the same kind of marketing dept. if not the same one.

There's been a few times where I'd have been sold booze no bother but as soon as my younger brother makes an appearance then the two of us need to be ID'ed which sucks seeing as I never have any on me. He'd show his showing he's 23 and I'm obviously well older than him but does that change their mind to see a little common sense? Noooooo.

Tyskie

Aye, jump on at Kirkcaldy and avoid the conductor until you get off the train and buy a Stonehaven - Aberdeen ticket from the guys at the ticket barriers.

When you go to hit a link on your phone and the page refreshes milliseconds before hand, making you hit the link to the BBC Sport Cricket page or whatever instead.

There's a one way street I cross on the way to work every morning but it's on an awkward bend meaning that you can't see if cars are coming from either direction off of the main road. Usually I get half way across and if a driver comes along then he'll give me right of way but this morning I was beside one daft wee lassie who walked out while the car was in view and just expected him to give way. Silly bint. There's another street I need to need to cross which is also awkward. Drivers will come out, turn right and then turn immediately left without indicating again and get pissed off if I've already started crossing. How the f**k am I meant to know if they're going to go left, right or right-then-left? Am I just going to hang around in case you get out onto the main road and just happen to take that turn? Absolutely not. I presume this is where this rule would come into place.

I agree but there's an exception for football fans leaving the ground. We own the road between 4:45 and 5:00. Strength in numbers. I always find their unique and distinctive little skips quite funny. I also like watching the drivers at traffic lights rev up as they watch the other set turn red, only for the green man to pop up instead. It's moments like that I wish I could do the Nelson 'Ha-ha!'.

As a rule of thumb, men tend to be better at judging when to walk through the gap in one lane to meet a gap in the other . Wimmen tend to get the whole timing thing horrifically wrong and end up stuck in the middle of the road with cars flying past either side. Most have the sense not to even bother trying but the ones who forget they can't skip along in high-heels until they're in the middle of the road are the main culprits. This is most evident on a Friday / Saturday night after the hours of 8pm.

I could moan and moan and moan about this. The problem which I have is not the price but the whole pricing structure. It's not based on mileage and I can be scammed £20 or so if I bought, say a an Aberdeen - Dumbarton ticket rather than Aberdeen - Glasgow and a Glasgow - Dumbarton ticket. The guys at the ticket counter aren't allowed to tell you this normally but they can get you a better deal but only if you ask them about it. The whole thing stinks.

Even though the road is clear, you're patiently waiting for the green man at pelican crossings because there's some wee kids on the otherside with their mum. You try to set a good example to avoid the stare of death from the mum only for some guy to turn up and cross straight over making the last few minutes of your life a complete waste of time.

This: Maybe I should just wait a bit for no particular reason other than to drag the day out?