He'd split you in half, mate. You're not the biggest fella in the world, probably could qualify for disability benefits as a dwarf, and Nade's a monster. It'd be a bloodbath.
I watched Yoker a few times this season and they've got a left midfielder who must be about 38. Baldy heid with a wee bit left round the back and at full sprint he reaches about half my walking speed. Hilarious to see. They play a left back behind him who's probably their most talented and quickest player. It's madness.
Used to enjoy the games between Killie and St Mirren before they went down, not for the fitba, which was dire, but for the battle between Goodwin and Pascali. Both angry, tough as nails, slow as f**k and guaranteed at least a booking a game.
Whilst running out of puff after 15 minutes and conceding 15 goals per game as they're beaten for pace by the opposition tea lady. With her tea trolley.