In fairness to Lee Clark, choosing between our forwards is like picking between herpes and gonorrhea.
"Reet, the back four is fairly solid, 'keeper picks himself, midfield is sorted. So, do I play the one that runs about loads and cannit score, or the one who doesnae move at all and cannit score, or the one who I'm not even sure is actually real? Pass iz that Brown Ale, Jig!"