the_bully_wee

Getting into bed, getting into a very comfortable position and starting to fall asleep... then BANG! The biting feeling in your bowel that says "go for a shite".

After their 2010/11 title that made 54

One of the 4/5 good shots I managed hit off the tee today was with my brother's 5 iron. Absolute cracker, went about 150-200 yards, but on contact there was a really weird noise - like a driver would make. Shat myself a bit and then noticed that the club seemed to be considerably lighter. Looked up to see where the ball had gone and noticed the head of the iron flying down the fairway. Scary stuff, but hilarious all the same!

Phone

Current (and favourites) are these, had them for a few years, too small, cheap, shitey but I love them, scuffed a bit but otherwise they've held up magnificently... I'll need to get some new ones soon though!

Fucking idiots on my Twitter saying stuff like: - "Twitters looking cracking love having proddy pals" - bimbo - "Twitter is just like one massive sash bash right now hahaha!! #happy12th" - wanger - ""Happy 12th of July" Trending in Glasgow. #LoyalistGlasgow" - the same bimbo - "Happy 12th of July, No Surrender!! #KingBillysOnTheWall" - normally decent guy, poor show - "Love all the fellow proddys of twitter haha" - yet another from the bimbo - "Remember 1690 King Billy's on the wall" - from one of my best mates - getting a massive boot in the baws next time I see him And a reasonably sensible one from Long live the 69; - "Oh, it's the 12th July. Another chance to celebrate a war which ended 400 year ago."

Played a few rounds in the last few weeks after not playing for about 3 years, when I stopped I was getting very frustrated as I was at that awkward age and height where junior clubs are too small and adult ones are too big, and as I result I was pish and couldn't be bothered. Apparently when I was younger I was quite a good player, can't remember being good though! Surprisingly, the rustiness didn't take very long to shake off at all and I was hitting some good shots. After some cracking 200+ yard drives at the start I now can't hit one for toffee, always topping it, and have to hit irons off the tee, which are also sometimes crap. I'll need to get to the driving range at some point soon to get back into the knack of teeshots again. Some of my fairway shots are slicing/hooking a bit but with practice it'll get better. One thing, though, which is strange, is that my short game is pretty damn good, better than I ever remember it to be. My putting is fairly solid too, so if I can improve my driving I'll hopefully be a decent player sometime soon. The courses I've played since starting up again are Elie (Sports Club) - Par 32 and Anstruther - Par 31, both 9 hole courses. My best 9 for Elie was 46 and for Anstruther was 47! Quite pleased with that, especially Anstruther as it is quite a tricky course.

Nuggets

Fat

How the f**k can she say "I can still remember the 1st day we met ... and had a wee catch up"?! How can you "catch up" with someone you've just met!

Saw Raymond from River City in St Andrews today

Follow, follow.... ... they will follow Gretna

Kopparberg Mixed Fruits

Red dotted due to bitter jealousy In all seriousness, well done mate, spend it wisely!

Rangers :lol: :lol: Was asking how all of my Rangers-supporting mates felt, and they were raging

£5 single on Germany earlier at 11/10. Will be putting the winnings back into various other bets throughout the tournament for a bit of fun

Pumped and dumped imo. Unfortunate. Edit: you could send your story to Dear Deirdre, she's normally good with this sort of thing

Just watched this as it sounded interesting and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was almost crying at a few parts along with the characters but managed to compose myself. Great storyline, a film which portrays very well the feelings of everyone involved. I think Clive Owen's especially brilliant in it, but all the characters and actors who played them are fantastic. I'd give it a 9/10.

I think the message meant to say "a site very, very well-known to distribute shite"

Team: Rangers There's only one c**t in this conversation (you)

Shaved? And you're 27?

Mon then square jiggy.