dan_ict

I might be weird but I'm not a virgin

Smooth. I chat her up by asking her the usual questions, how are you ? , what you up to ? Then I dump all the emotional crap ( This is usually extremely brilliant as I chat so much shite when I'm steaming) Then I ask her if she wants to take a wander somewhere so we can talk in person if she agrees : it's a done deal. If she declines : i get labeled a pervert by everyone the next day haha. It works occasionally but the rewards are so worth it.

Does anybody else hate going on Facebook in the morning after a heavy drinking session ? I always end up trying to get my hole off the first, unlucky, decent looking bird that happens to pop up on my chat. The next morning when I stumble out my bed, I always have a bad feeling in my gut that I have got myself into some deep shite or ive really embarrassed myself. If it's not trying to get my hole, it's winding up the old firm fans, laughing at someone who I probably shouldn't, or telling a fat wee gobshite how much I despise her and everyone associated with her.

My Facebook is currently filled with hundreds of jokes about Osama bin laden that people have clearly pawned from sikipedia. What a god awful site

Recently, a few of the birds on my Facebook have become single. This means that my Facebook was awash with " Stay strong hunni, you deserve better than him . Your so pretty and amazing, love you <3 xxxxxxx ". Shut the f**k up. Your obviously not pretty or amazing because you just got dumped.

I have just witnessed such stupidity it's unreal. This is not a joke. " Cmon Rangers, let's get into these bigoted ******s " - safe to say I was left stunned

Just finished an 18 hour shift (feck me) and relaxing with a few bottles of kopparberg. Teckle

Nope, dont w**k over birds on facebook you sad b*****d.... I've got pornhub for that

I have this bird on facebook who does my head in. She's so far up everyones arse its unbelievable and she constantly changes her mood. 1 minute its "life is so hard, when will it get easier", then its " Loving life <3 ". She's getting deleted tonight.

When birds post 100000 photos of herself followed by " Keep or Delete" - I could care less go die. These pictures are also put with the caption of some shite pop music lyrics. Does my fuckin nut in. And when boys take pictures of themself in the mirror. Grow a set you big bender

Boy racers cruising up and down the road in their tuned up wee shit heaps thinking their the dogs bollocks...And the go-compare/compare the market adverts