Confidemus

Almost 5000 posts in and I've just discovered the "go to first unread post" feature of P&B. Fucking hell.

How dare you stereotype the towns of East Ayrshire and make dreadful insinuations of bigotry towards their inhabitants. You are spot on, though, tbf.

You've also touched her "area" by proxy. I salute you.

Evidence or GTFO

Aye, the jammy auld p***k. I'd have rode Lou to get to her, tbf.

Who remembers Annalise? Yum.

No , it's at the top of my stairs. I also have a downstairs toilet, so I'm fully versed in where to go when I need to defecate. Also, I don't know how your digestive system works but fecal matter, to the best of my knowledge, exits the human body via the rectal passage and not via one of the orifices of the human head. Overall, I would say your post was vastly unhelpful.

Would you like some vinaigrette with that word salad?

Oh, do f**k off. Do you know what percentage of this country's spend is welfare? Try and do some research. Gideon Osborne & co delight in brainwashing the likes of you with this shite. I suppose you reserve as much rage for the likes of Starbucks and Amazon who dodge paying the tax they should? Open your eyes, son.

Never been unemployed in my life son, but I do know people who rely on benefits and I'm increasingly pissed off with this ridiculous belief purported and helped along by the Daily Mail and the Tory Government that those on benefits are scroungers.

Well stop your "sponging off the social" shite then.

^^^ Daily Mail reader, imo

I stopped reading here. Idiot.

Quite

You're really, really not. What's more, I reckon you're about 5'5", 5'6" in real life? Am I about right?

A friend of a friend has REALLY tight curly wiry hair. He is known to all as "Pubes".

Hauners!!!!!!!

Dundee's #1 burger flipper.

How about gathering the whole of P&B to slap him about? I'm game.

They are both incredible. Well played, folk you know.

Another one I remember is a bird in my last work, who was dubbed "Arnold Clark". Quite a tenuous one, she looked like she was halfway through a sex change, so she was initially called mid op transexual, which was shortened to M.O.T, which then turned into Arnold Clark. ETA: f**k knows whats going on with the font on this one.

I used to work with a short lad from Stornoway. He was so small that when he walked in the door you couldn't see him if you were sitting down. This led to him getting the nickname "The Breeze".... ETA, I also know of a guy who just came to mind who was so spectacularly ugly, he was known as "Sexual".

Your mum was at a carvery yeah? You'd have loved Victorian London.

I'm sure you and your mum could have hit the pesky little brats with rolled up copies of the Daily Mail.

A fair shout. Irvine is a horrific town full of ne'erdowells, neds and numpties.