AsimButtHitsASix

Fireman Frank leaves along with Cairnie and Irvine.

Summed him up in a nutshell. Couldn't believe that save when he made it. Then... fuckin' hell. To think he was our player of the year the season before :/

Duffy seems to have an eye for a player. Moore never.

Should just say their house burnt down. The money will come flooding in

Any sort of newspaper article that tries to claim to know how a historical figure would act/react to modern politics "Burns would have voted Yes!" "Churchill would love the EU!" "Gandhi would have been all for these fiscal reforms within the education department of East Renfrewshire Council" f**k up. Just... fuckin' leave it.

This is my first one in about three years or so.

There are other equally benign ailments that can be cured. Why not this one? Affects everyone. Costs billions in lost work hours. Would be a fucking fortune in it. Ridiculous state of affairs

When ye think of the advancements made in medicine over the centuries and how far we've came, as a species, to being close to fucking immortal... why the f**k is there still no cure for a common cold?

I have just became privy to some information via Facebook: It turns out an ex Manchester United player is pals with a paedo (not Adam Johnson) Would it be morally repugnant to phone a tabloid newspaper with this scoop? And how much should I ask for?

Dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals. Like us. So it's ok to f**k dolphins

Him and Derek Collins played in a bounce match for our reserves while he was in charge.

Done a job for me in Football Manager for Scotland to be fair

Three years ago today

I'd call up Douglas. Anyone playing well in leagues stronger than our own deserves at least looked at. Would also have the follow on benefit of letting players know if they do go abroad they're not forgotten about. Having players go abroad would be benefit for the national team and a player, nowhere near the set up when he left, breaking in after a few years overseas might encourage others to do it or at least not be worried about it.

Nigerian p***k off work today so get to listen to Jesus and Mary Chain full belt without him bitching about my choice of music

Idiots. If a guy can talk his way out of that he shoulda been promoted to head of sales or marketing.

When I worked at IBM I heard one of the management got bagged for cracking one off in the toilet. I asked what the issue was if they were in a cubicle... ...they were watching themselves in the mirror above the sinks and a cleaner walked in.

Decided to look at the first season that players currently involved with the Portuguese National Team made their "breakthrough" season (10 league games) with Sporting... Jose Fonte, Beto, Silvestre Varela, and Rui Fonte never managed to play ten games for Sporting before being papped out. Cristiano Ronaldo was 17 Ricardo Querasma and Joao Moutinho were 18 Rui Patricio, Nani and Adrien Silva were 19 Daniel Carrico and Miguel Veloso were 20 Cedric Soares, William Carvalho, Joao Mario and Danny were 21 (Danny played 9 games before January then was sold off to Dynamo Moscow) So taking away Ronaldo, Querasma and Moutinho, who were all exceptional talents, he's on course. If he played ten games next season he'll be starting the season at 20 years old same as, or younger than, six current Portuguese internationals. Everyone needs to calm the f**k down.

You prefer to sit in front of the telly at home?

Bela Lugosi had a Melrose Rugby Club tattoo which is why he never got the role of Frankenstein's Monster as one of the producers thought rugby was for poofs

Folk coming into the hospital and asking directions. A coupla months ago we got coloured lines painted on the floor so folk can follow them depending on the department. They ask for a department and I started saying "On the other side of the road there there's four coloured lines..." and before I can say anything else they start asking questions like "Do I go left or right?" or "Is that near the restaurant?". f**k off mate. I'm literally in the middle of giving you directions. Can ye not contain yersel' for ten seconds?

Crows for the win...

Going back a bit to the lassie in the high chair. Why wait two hours for the firemen to come just to rip the wee bit of wood aff the chair? Surely anyone coulda done that?