AsimButtHitsASix

I got bored at work so made a Scottish football "Tube Map"

I'm still laughing anytime I go on this page because Thomas 62 called Viking ton

Just for you Dunnng Despite his age, when fit, Peaso is still as good as anyone else in the league As poor as he may be defensively Mark Russell can only improve Our keeper is amazing Barr is an improvement on McCluskey Orr sounds like a decent prospect There's (surely) still cash available for players We've signed a guy called Romario Four derbies to look forward to/fear (delete as applicable Tidser We might finally get an answer to the riddle of "What the f**k do people see in Joe McKee?"

I used to go with a girl who was quite loud but she lived in a big fancy two story flat on her tod in Garnethill so I never worried about neighbours or that then, when we were in Venice, we had a wee room to ourselves in a hostel overlooking one of the smaller canals. One day when we were at it in the morning for quite a while (anyone else take ages to finish in the morning on a tangeant?) and when I finished, and she went quiet, we heard cheering and applause coming from the window and when I got over there to look out there were three gondolas with tourists on them who had stopped for a listen. Dirty b*****ds. Felt amazing. I did have a flatmate with a really loud ex but he was on the ground floor and I was on the top and I only noticed it really when I went down to make a sandwich or that at night. The other flatmate who was down there had to buy headphones to listen to the telly

When I lived in Glesga I used to get abuse from wee arseholes every fortnight who never clicked if I was going to Cappielow every week I was probably a Morton fan. Called me an "Alloa b*****d" for months no matter who we played

Indian English has absolutely perfect grammar in all its educational settings. All comes from them learning English from the right top of the tree toffs and it getting passed down as almost sacred throughout their schools* (unlike British, American, Aussie, English etc. which is constantly evolving and adding pieces of dialect and formerly important grammatical points going out of common usage). *yet, still, constantly their comments on the Guardian sports pages are eye-bleedingly bad.

This should be in Gold. Cheered me up no end

I reckon this would be a better game as one of the really huge teams. Ye'd be fine for 3/4 years but trying to nurture youth academy guys into world class players and, eventually, a whole team of them while challenging on all fronts with a board that demans success...

I never got to see him too often last year but, for a fairly immobile player, he found space to get on the ball a lot. He can obviously find those little pockets and can read a game. I don't see why he can't adapt that to taking up defensive positions when out of possesion. I think it'd be worth experimenting with (likewise I think Tidser could do a similar job there)

Should work in yer favour tho'. Any youth facility/training updates?

I've saw a few Darwin Awards noms this week. The guy who jumped into a pond shouting "f**k alligators" because of the signs saying "No swimming - Alligators" being eaten by an alligator was a favourite

It's only fucking Ayr. GET 'EM TELT

Carrick can't tackle. He can intercept and, occasionally, head the ball.

Could be possible to play Forbes in the holding role (bear with me) The best players in that position don't need to run around to break up attacks. If their positional abilities are good enough they can do a job there without even breaking sweat (Carrick's good at this for Man U). Pepper's energy just infront of him could be enough to pick up any issues caused by Forbes lack of mobility as well.

I pop into this thread every now and then, so apologies if I've missed it, but a few questions for Inverness football folk 1- Is it mostly Caledonian fans who are bitter about the merger? Did Thistle fans have the same animosity? 2- Did many then go to watch Clach afterwards? 3- Why didn't a Caledonian FC (1995) get set up by the fans to remain in the Highland League? 4- See question number 5 5- See question number 4

Do you take the first kick aff a tee? Or do ye get to punt it?

I know a coupla Greenock Junior fans who were certain ye were gonna start running things at Ravenscraig

At least they cover yer positions. Coulda had four keepers and half a dozen strikers.

And, from that list, I would say Hughes, McIntyre, Wright, Murray, Archibald and Lennon have all done quite well. Surely a better barometer would be comparing the difference in win ratios to the previous manager at the club before them.

Already is

sauce Doesn't say how many incidents or crimes were repelled due to the sudden appearance of a gun but why would people count hypotheticals? How can you prove it was someone being armed that calmed a situation? I could argue "how many times has the appearance of a citizen with mangos helped prevent crime?" it's impossible to prove or disprove. However there was a situation, recently, where someone pulled a gun out on someone else in an area where other men were armed. What happened there? http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/may/18/waco-biker-gang-shootout-what-we-know

Not many

When I was in Poland if I walked into a bar the barman would ask what I wanted in Polish. When I was in Germany and I went to buy a train ticket they would ask in German, etc. etc. Dunno if any of this counts as someone thinking I'm foreign or not tho'. Over half the folk I talk to when they come into work are clearly foreign but I still speak to them in English. When I lived in Jersey a few of the English tourists at my bar kept thinking I was Polish and moaning about "bloody Poles". This was particularly amusing when the person he was moaning about the "Poles" to was a born/bred islander, who spoke Jersey French at home, and said that at least they're better than the fucking English. There was also a Polish girl who worked in the hotel there who was convinced I was Polish and refused to believe me. Since I started working in this hospital at least one visitor/caller a month thinks I'm Polish as well. Also had a guy come round the house to fix the skirting boards and when I answered the door I telt him I'd go get the landlord on the phone for him and he said to me "Do. You. Have. Your. Landlord's. Number?" I was kinda taken aback as to why he was speaking loudly, and slowly, and asking me what I just told him I was about to do when he went onto his phone and, in a stupid cockney accent, said "Yeah. I'm here but the guy living here's bloody Romanian and can't speak English." On the ferry to Aland from Sweden I got chatting to this wummin and was firing in when her two pals, a lesbian couple, came over and didn't believe I was Scottish and were certain I was a Dane, pretending to be Scottish, as a way of getting into Swedish girl's knickers. Also the usual of folk thinking I'm Irish anytime I open my mouth.

Bullet points! http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/20/charleston-south-carolina-shooting-gun-control-reform-myths

Where's this fucking nonsense idea that Switzerland and the US have similar gun regulations? They don't