BFTD

I feel you may be the common element in both of those attributes Been shagging a married woman for thirteen years...I feel your pain, bro

Finished all the washing in the house, and I don't have a single pair of clean pants. I'd blame the Underpants Gnomes, but we're out of forks too, and I really can't see the profit in that. Edit: too much "in the house" in this house.

Aye, they kept telling me that talking worked for some folk; hopefully it does for Mr Fireplace. There's no point doing it if you aren't going to be open with them. It's not like they're going to tell your mates, and you can be sure they've heard a lot worse from the DJs on their books I'm thinking euthanasia is the best bet for miserable c***s like me

Was wondering that myself. Happened right in front of me; was definitely a knee in the ribs, and that's what he was clutching at first. I assume he must've hurt his arm in the fall. Or I'm hallucinating again. Be nice, that was the kindest reply a Cowdenbeath fan has ever made to one of my posts!

Allow me to indulge my misery by saying: precious fucking little. Let's be positive and assume your experience will be different. It's nothing to worry about, they won't give you an enema or anything; those days are long gone. At worst, a lot of talking followed by medication.

Sounds like you might have that Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm sure there's a few folk on here that do. Apparently you can get some kind of lamp to shine on yourself for half an hour a day that gives you the sunlight you're missing, and it makes a big difference. Certainly worth asking the doctor about IMO. I think the NHS can provide the equipment. Y'know, no matter how I try, I can't make this read any less like I'm taking the piss I'm sure there are a few folk on here who have that problem too

Another wee Development League East report for...well, naebdy, really. A cool, clear night at the Fracker's Paradise saw Alloa run out 4-1 winners against Forfar Athletic, in a game memorable for a couple of injuries and a few cracking goals. The first half saw both Forfar's #8 hobbling off with a painful leg injury caused by a head-on collision, and Alloa's Ryan Hoggan left early for the hospital after a rogue knee to the ribs left the player nursing a damaged arm. Despite this, the game was played out in good spirit, with nary a card to be seen. Barely had the spectators present taken their first sip of Bovril before Forfar stormed straight down the wing from kick-off, cutting in a low cross for their energetic #11 to tap home past Mikey Couser in the Alloa goal. Couser in particular will be annoyed by this early lapse in concentration, as rarely did Forfar trouble him for the rest of the game, with every chance being dealt with confortably by the Wasps' keeper and his defence, which featured returning captain Lewis Wilson. The game settled into an easy rhythm of attack and defence, with the teams looking fairly equal in quality, with Alloa's main weakness being the occasional sloppiness in passing that has dogged the first team in recent weeks. Aside from the impressive Couser, Alloa's edge came from a dominant attacking performance from Martin Hardie, whose delight in his role was clear to all, and a zippy Eddie Ferns. Ferns & Hardie combined to great effect in the 35th minute, when a quick counter-attack found a well-timed run from Hardie on the left wing. The wee firebrand outpaced the retreating Forfar defence, before finding Ferns in the centre, who lifted the ball over the onrushing keeper into the net. Alloa then were ahead within five minutes when a corner was deflected out to the centre of the box, and an onrushing Hardie met the ball with a sweet volley past the helpless keeper. Straight from the post-half-time kick-off, Alloa warmed the Forfar keeper's gloves, but few other chances were created until the 70th minute, when a rampant Hardie took a run through the centre of the Forfar defence, finishing from 25 yards into the right of the Forfar net. Immediately afterwards, Forfar carved out their best chance of the game, with a scramble in the Alloa box ending with a point-blank header to the top right of Couser's goal, which the keeper comfortably tipped over the bar. The game began to peter out and, when Martin Hardie was taken off in injury time, anyone would be forgiven for thinking the scoring had come to an end. However, Hardie's replacement Anderson was obviously keen to prove himself equally worthy, and immediately took a mazy run along the edge of Forfar's box, striking a carefully-placed low finish across into the bottom-left corner. There wasn't even time left to kick off, and Alloa would no doubt have left the field pleased with a result that leaves them undefeated in four home games, and in the middle of a good run of form due to improved performances.

Since I started being open about depression and other problems, I don't have a single person left in my life who isn't family. Amazing how many people stop calling when they find out that you can't do x, y or z for them anymore.

Because of Christmas? Everyone's miserable at this time of year, in one way or another. Even Alloa fans. Not sure if that helps any

Is this the same lassie that cut you off after using you as a flannel for her tears?

Try the brass section. All that controlled breathing The wife tells me that playing the clarinet is very much like slobbering a boaby.

Safer instrument Good to see 27 folk are happy that she almost lost an eye plucking strings.

In heels?

Not giving your height there, I notice

With the feeling pathetic, or the lonely part? Try and remember the former is a temporary thing; at least, the intensity of it. As for the latter...I don't know your situation, but you aren't going to be alone forever.

Any particular reason? Not the only one. Staying up tonight to be miserable rather than lying in bed doing the same. Doesn't help much with getting work done in the morning, but at least I'll be too tired not to sleep tomorrow.

Sorry, Throbber's sock club is pretty exclusive

There's a thought to keep you warm during the dark times

It's the weekend, and I'm on P&B; clearly I have plenty of time on my hands Knock yourself out. Or not, if you'd prefer.

All pretty familiar. I find that borrowing one of Throbber's socks helps sometimes

What happened?

They regurgitate, then re-consume? They lizard people are getting more and more brash nowadays.

In fairness to them, the slogan GIE'S YER CASH LOSERS! didn't go down to well with focus groups.

I'm his bit of rough from the fifth world, dontchakno

Alright, this isn't funny any more.