Funky Nosejob

Must admit I spent the entire video waiting for him to trip on the mic cable. Really enjoyed the insightful interview at the end as well.

Mind when, in primary school, your mate found a porno mag in the park and you laughed yourselves stupid reading the readers’ letters? Imagine if you wrote a song based on what you read in those letters. How embarrassing would it be to see those lyrics now that you’re a grown up? Probably a level of cringe that’s quite literally, Another Level…

Original + Additional lyrics @ 40 seconds = Cover better than the original

tinpot /ˈtɪnpɒt/ (adj.) - Appealing to Thistle Das on WAT Relax, DVDs were the height of cool in 2004/05.

The tinpot element is the fact it’s on DVD. It’s 2021 FFS! Short of asking for payment by postal order with a stamped, addressed envelope, it couldn’t get more tinpot.

Robert the Bruce died about 700 years ago. Allowing for 3 generations per century and an average of 2 children surviving to reproductive adulthood per generation, would mean there are currently about 2^21 (2,097,152) direct descendants of Robert the Bruce.

£1000 per game and £250 per goal. No payment for lost game. Scoop magazine ahead of its time and contemplating what happens when professional football meets the gig economy.

@Poet of the Macabre not been seen since September 2020. With all divisions kicking off together, can we look forward to the triumphant return of “Last Man Standing”?

PP Free £5 betbuilder for England v Scotland up now.

More of a “Jon Stark - Matchwinner for Hire” fan, myself.

Every time it’s on, day after day, they always state that “you must enter by midnight tonight”.

And, to show that the morality of the advertised product is irrelevant, here’s the 39.99% apr credit card for people with lots of maxed-out credit cards - Vanquis. They’ve gone from the cringeworthy “Card of Vanquis” with shit-covered peasants… To a cool strutting cat sauntering his way through the town centre…

Designed to run in parallel with the Pish Adverts thread, this thread is intended to recognise the companies who, having acknowledged that their existing advertising strategy is pish, decide to do something about it and hire a different agency who have far more palatable ideas. It is not enough to simply be a “good” or even a “favourite” advert to appear in this thread. A previous travesty of an advert for the same product must exist in order to qualify. The hope is that other companies recognise that redemption is possible. Perhaps Red Bull can move on from their cartoons that I can only imagine appeal to those already stoked up on caffeine and sugar. Perhaps WeBuyAnyCar can finally do something that doesn’t automatically generate rage amongst viewers. My first nominee is The AA, who last summer decided to ditch the disturbing lip syncing toddler in the back of a car in favour of a chilled out dog enjoying an electric fan. From this… To this…

Ronson can be a bit hit and miss and will always divide opinion, but I reckon his cover of Radiohead’s “Just”, featuring Phantom Planet, deserves its place on this thread, even if it’s only for the levels of parody in the video.

I think we’re agreeing that it’s a vast improvement on the woeful “Card of Vanquis” pish it has replaced. In a similar way to when the AA replaced that lip syncing baby with the dog and fan, it stands as evidence that redemption is possible for even the worst of offenders.

I have vague recollections of the mid-70s 50s revival, but was too young to recognise it as such at the time. By the looks of that chart, we had another one in the early 80s. I also recollect another one in the late 80s due to Levis 501 adverts. This ultimately led to Jive Bunny stinking the charts out.

Sounds as though he has some serious ongoing issues. Hopefully he gets the help he obviously needs.

The answer to the pub quiz question, “What 1990s music video features a member of Parliament?”…

It is a questionable choice, especially given that St. Winifred’s School Choir, Chas & Dave and Dennis Waterman were in the charts at the same time. By the looks of things we were in the middle of yet another 50’s revival as well, with Darts, Matchbox and Showaddywaddy also appearing. Yet this song is the astonishingly bad one? Nah!

A variation on the above… Mrs. Nosejob: I’ve spent the last month considering, browsing and researching what is going to be a fairly expensive purchase for us. I’ve probably changed my mind several times and have gone into the minutest details. I have never previously thought to bring you into the discussion, so this is completely new to you. I’ve got a zoom meeting with the salesman in 5 minutes. I’m now going to spend 4 minutes talking you through what I think is our best option. 4 minutes later - So, what are your thoughts? 6 months later - Well if it was an obvious issue, why didn’t you mention it at the time?

Where did you have them last?

They’re still touting credit cards to people whose lives would be better in the long term without credit cards, but at least the quality of their adverts has improved…

There is one God, who I have created in my own image. As for the Bible, it’s an interpretation of a translation of an edit of an an account first written hundreds of years after the events took place. It also claims the value of pi is 3 and that wearing a poly-cotton shirt is an affront to God.

Because it’s a competition, apparently. Getting home 20 seconds earlier than you would otherwise have managed had you not been driving like an arsehole automatically makes you a winner. Bonus points if you depart the traffic lights ahead of a car you were behind by using the wrong lane and swerving into the correct lane dangerously.

How does Scottish Football League Champions in perpetuity sound? Throw in a Scottish Cup, a Scottish League Cup and, for a bit of fun, add in Tennents’ Sixes Champions in perpetuity.