Funky Nosejob

Young Boys also played Juventus in the Champions’ League in 2018. Juventus is the Italian for “youth” and are nicknamed the La Viecchia Signora (the Old Lady), so you can make your own jokes as you please.

An omelette made with only one egg is called a “French Omelette”… … because one egg is “un oeuf”.

Or they’ve bumped up the price by £900 so they can offer a “special discount” to the next sucker that comes along. Obviously they’d have to check it with their manager first.

Tap on 3 bars, then choose Account > Account Settings. On a tablet, there’s an option in the left hand column.

My journey to/from school involved a lift share with two boys from other families. One Christmas we all gave each other a Mini Mastermind game, thus ending up with two copies each. My parents also bought a copy of Deluxe Mastermind (5 colour code from 8 colours). It was consigned to the bottom of the board game pile within a week.

From my recollection of ground shares:- Promoted to top tier the season after we got rid of Clyde. (91/92) Promoted to top tier the season after we got rid of Hamilton. (01/02) Promoted to top tier the season after we got rid of Glasgow Warriors. (12/13) Maybe we’re playing the long game and gambling on a pattern?

Hope you recover quickly and are back in the saddle soon. As you rightly point out, a high quality cycling helmet is a worthwhile investment.

A couple from the “Well, you tried your best” category. Can’t help but think that efforts like these are counterproductive.

An off-centre parting of the hair. a.k.a. Side parting

I remember for the 1976 Montreal Olympics, Weetabix printed a whole load of dice board games on the back of their packets. I adapted the participants so that Scotland could participate and would regularly “adjust” the dice results in their favour as required. http://cerealoffers.com/Weetabix_Ltd/Weetabix/1975/Olympic_Games/olympic_games.html

During our first self-catering holiday abroad together, Mrs. Nosejob enquired as to what was written on a notepad beside the telephone. I informed her it was “The Messages”. There then followed a conversation of confusion as she couldn’t understand how there could be messages when no one knew our telephone number. I assumed that everyone knew what “messages” were and asked her why she thought we needed the telephone for messages. And so it went on for over 5 minutes. See also “a skelf” and “a side shed”.

Her inability, or perhaps resistance, to accept that a freezer is a finite space. Batch cooking and freezing four weeks’ worth of kids’ lunches two days before the online grocery order arrives is never going to end well.

Sometimes, adding in a horn section doesn’t make the song better. Especially if you throw in Robbie Williams too…

I bought a mirror from my local funfair solely because it was so cheap. My wife says it reflects badly on me.

Andrew Gold, having stunk out the 70’s with Lonely Boy and Never Let Her Slip Away, grows a pair for a No.12 from 1987.

Start cramming after Christmas February Easter Dinner the night before the exam.

There is hidden code in the Pie & Bovril HTML that will cause it to crash as a website and relaunch as a mirror of Mumsnet once each sub-forum contains a thread about Old Firm Colts.

Watches subtitled, Scandinavian crime series … … with the volume up high!

Reminded by a post on the Random 80s Videos thread, songs where the lyrics are incorrect. 1. S-Express (Theme from S-Express) “Countdown is progressing, uno, dos, uno, dos, tres, cuatro” That’s a count up, not a count down. 2. Cher (Love and Understanding) “We’ve got more than enough, but there’s one thing there’s just not enough of. Not enough love and understanding” That’s two things. If I was Ed Byrne, I could make a set out of this.

Fish, which is my favourite dish, but without no money it’s still a wish. No. 15 in 1987 and another from my 12” vinyl collection.

I don’t think you can use speed limits to decide where it’s safe to cycle. Compare… The A71, a major, well maintained trunk road, just approaching Dalmahoy Golf Course. The speed limit is about to drop from 50mph, where it has been since leaving Edinburgh, to 40mph. Running parallel to the A71 behind Dalmahoy Golf Course is Long Dalmahoy Road, part of NCR75 (National Cycle Route 75). Familiarity means I know which potholes to avoid. The speed limit along its length is 60mph.

Not comprehensive, but a general, basic starting point … Front of knees sore = saddle too low Back of knees sore = saddle too high