Fullerene

I am sure there have been some tourists who wanted a taxi to the airport. "Which one?" "Port Adhair. I think I saw a sign. Yes. That's the one we want."

I think there is a point having Gaelic signs in those parts of Scotland where historically people spoke Gaelic. However, that is not everywhere. It would make more sense to have the Doric name for places in the North East where Doric was more commonly spoken than Gaelic.

A lot of mountains have Gaelic names but often these translate to big hill, small hill, speckled hill and so on. I recall one OS map that seemed to have 27 mountains that were called Beinn Bhreac. I was told a story of one mapmaker going to Skye and asking the locals in the pub what the Gaelic name was for some of the mountains nearby. Apparently some of the answers were fairly obscene but he was not to know. Needless to say the published map became a limited first edition. Not sure if this story is true but it sounds good.

We should also appreciate that the Royal Family is responsible for lots of tourists coming here. After all, France does not have a king or queen and does Paris get lots of tourists - I ask you. Uh oh. Maybe somebody can explain this better than me.

Does that mean we can all do the same? "Prince of Pyongyang" or "Czar of Chicago" sound pretty good - unless they have already been taken.

"Air Miles Andy". Are you referring to the Earl of Inverness? I bet there are people in Dumbarton who are feeling equally miserable now!

.. and yet they do a splendid job as ambassadors to the world encouraging other countries to buy British. Come on, wouldn't you be sorely tempted to buy half a dozen British made fighter jets if a member of the Royal Family suggested that you should?

Oh shit. The recorder didn't record anything. I missed the whole thing. Did anything happen?

Okay. Red Alert. There is a certain section of the population who cannot be trusted. They may regarded the Royal Family as a bunch of vomitworthy shites but all the same they like a good wedding. "Oh what a lovely dress." "Does that look like a wonderful bouquet of flowers." Aargh. Avoid any invitation to visit your Aunt Grizelda on Saturday and especially if you don't have an Aunt Grizelda. In other words, if you want to avoid this wedding completely then you need to have a plan in place to ensure you don't see it. You have been warned.

Yes - Delightful Machiavellian. Encourage Montenegro, Bosnia, Kosovo and other places to join the EU and then say "Yes now we definitely have to leave unless we want hordes of people from Montenegro, Bosnia, Kosovo and other places coming here."

Good point, however, in practice, a lot of people don't object to all nuclear weapons - only those that might be pointed at them.

I wonder which MP will be the first to say "ungrateful".

I suspect one reason people might not know their MEP is because they can't think of why they would ever need to contact them. "Oh my roof is leaking and I have noisy neighbours - better contact my MEP." If it was an issue that concerned the MEP, I suspect most people would find that out from their MP first. Similar to going to my GP first about some medical condition instead of going to a specialist.

In a population of more than 500 million people, how easy is it for me to get myself heard. Dead easy. I just tap the nearest table and say "Excuse me. I have something to say."

I can remember a time when Lebanon and especially Beirut was seen as a very dangerous place and journalists would report on the situation there from the relative safety of Syria. Now it is the other way around.

Similar to: What is the odd one out? Q: A crab, a spider, a lobster and a Chinaman who has fallen under a bus? A: A spider. The rest are Crustaceans.

Trump and Kim to meet in Singapore where a pint of lager can cost more than the average North Korean earns in a month!

Once upon a time there were two little children called Hansel Kim and Gretel Park. They went for a walk in the forest but left a trail of breadcrumbs, as advised by our Great Leader, so that they would not lose their way. Unfortunately all the breadcrumbs were eaten by hungry birds that had been deliberately starved by the evil Yankee Imperialists so the two children became lost. They came across a house in forest and went inside. However the house belonged to an evil capitalist witch who wanted to eat them. Luckily they were able to escape and find their way out of the forest with help from the glorious Workers Party of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. .. and they all lived happily ever after thanks to the infinite wisdom of our Dear Leader. The End.

Two of the hostages worked at PUST which is a college for the sons of the ruling elite and it is run by Christians. I recently read a book called "Without You there is no us." by Suki Kim, who was a teacher there although she was not religious and her main work was as a journalist. I liked how she spotted that if you swapped "Dear Leader" for "Jesus" then the very religious teachers and the very loyal Koreans were saying similar things. I also liked her comment that every time she asked them to write a story, that regardless of the storyline (for example, it could have been science fiction) the story always ended with a celebration of the Worker's Party of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea and the infinite wisdom of their Dear Leader.

I think Nigel Lawson has always been an excellent negative barometer for me. If he is in favour of something - I am probably against it If he is against something - I am probably for it.

Oh great. No mention of car batteries. Not very likely I would want to go on to Eurovision but I wanted to go and take a car battery with me - I can. Maybe that is useful to know.

Yes, Jeremy Corbyn will be the most amazing Socialist Prime Minister ever if only he gets elected. Oh dear, it is that awkward word "if" popping up again. At the moment, Labour is very inward-looking. A lot of members get very excited about the prospect of another leadership election but don't get very excited about any else. Labour should be assessing why they have not done as well as they should have done but that will not happen. Any criticism will simply be gauged in terms of whether you are for Jeremy Corbyn or against him. "Could more have been done about housing in Barnet or Barnsley or wherever?" "Oh that's it. You're against Jeremy Corbyn. You have always despised him." "No. I was actually asking a question about housing."

Yup and you can be sure he say something like: "Look, this is only to be expected - everything is still going to plan." Why vote for the puppet master when the Tories are doing everything he wants them to do?

"That's it. We're leaving. We're gone. We're out of here. And don't expect us to come back. No that's it, we leaving. In fact we are going now. Had enough. We are leaving. Good bye. Oh and another thing .."

There have been some questionable winners of the Noble Peace Prize before. I bet when Neville Chamberlain came back from Munich in 1938 that somebody was tempted to consider Chamberlain and Hitler.