Cosmic Joe

I feel sorry for all the decent Airdrieonians fans (the vast majority) who have to put up with this nonsense

It was originally called a traffic circle. There is a story that it was a Dundonian that invented the circle/ roundabout but I can't find any evidence of this online.

Was considering yourself British ever not an embarrassment? At school it was all about the sun never sets on the Empire. And these days it's this shite.

Not quite. But good effort!

Yup

That"ll be him. I'm always a wee bit uncomfortable about these features. Thought Alfie got taken a loan of a bit on social media

It was a few years ago now. I think it was Bobby Linn who shared it. Probably from Charlie or Menzieshill

Correct. It looks complicated with all the consonants, but once you grasp the basic rz, cz, ch, sz pronunciations the language opens up. I'm still relatively shit at engaging in conversations but good in mealtime situations. My proudest moment came in being able to translate horseradish sauce to a Polish waitress in Forfar

The sweary Dundonian Facebook star with the afro was behind me in the chippy queue tonight. Lovely guy

...and two cheesemongers....

You should write a guide to Edinburgh parks for young parents who enjoy a bevvy Throbber

Trump next?

Surely that frees up the self service checkouts and makes things quicker?

Try getting a pub in Stockbridge to put BBC Alba on for the fitba. Nice boozers but only interested in showing the rugby or EPL games

It livens up when the hot priest arrives

What are the dates of the Dunfermline Athletic and Raith away programmes please? Also the dates and opponents of the two fanfolded homes?

The best thing about Stockbridge is that Stuart's of Buckhaven (number 5 on the most deprived list) supply the local "delicatessen" with their Scotch pies. It's only a matter of time

My daughter made the quantum leap from Lochee to Stockbridge a couple of years back. I still prefer Lochee

Tell Ben to come ben, if Ben doesnae come ben, tell Ben I'm gonnae come ben and get him ben myself

The Stranraer accent is a cracker. I'm sure they pronounce every "l" as an "r", and every "r" as an "l"

One of the better "Champions" League finals for the neutral. Had a bit of drama about it at least

Neither. I just had no idea that "far" meant where and "fit" meant what etc. Completely threw me

I've always been intrigued by the diversity of the spoken language in this country. Despite their close proximity, Dundee, Angus and Fife accents bear no resemblance to each other, and the first time I went to Aberdeen I honestly did not have a clue what was being said. I struggle to differentiate between Lanarkshire, Glasgow Renfrewshire and Ayrshire however. Is there a big difference in their respective accents and dialects?

I have no idea. I think every SFA affiliated club gets offered tickets for these events