A mermaid is lying on a beach.
A Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman suddenly appear.
The Irish man says "hey mermaid, have you ever been kissed?"
""No" is the reply so the Irishman kisses her.
The Englishman man says "hey mermaid, have you ever been fingered?
"No" is the reply so the Englishman fingers her.
The Scotsman says "hey mermaid, have you ever been fucked?
"No" she replied.
Scotsman says "aye well ye are noo, the tide is oot".