thistledo

Do you genuinely feel that's a fair assessment here? The guy has assembled what is starting to appear a rather good team, despite defensive injuries we are sitting second top and have won three games out of four.

Had to go back and check haha... weird.

What an absolute rabble Morton are right now. Think I counted one shot on target straight at Sneddon, he'll not have an easier game all season. Hope you're having a shite night @virginton etc

Was always a rumour going round, that one of the German teachers got locked in a cupboard at school over the weekend. A few of the lads in my class used to ask her almost every German period if it was true. She always denied it funnily enough.

Dropped you a PM

Yeah it was a portacabin at the arse end of the building, although the interior was significantly nicer than most of the rest of the classrooms, so I can't work out if they hated the maths teachers or not. I used to be good at it, until 2nd year and I had this awful teacher, who was fat and didn't seem to give a f**k about teaching. She was one of those "the bell is for me, not for you lot" mostly this was confined to lunch time, for a big lass, she beat more or less everyone to to the front of the lunch queue and from the maths block, with her BMI that was impressive. Discipline in school over the years is an interesting thing, the enquiry of learning difficulties is a really shitty thing to do, probably they were having a bad day / period in life. In 1st year my guidance teacher tried to make me stand up and apologise to her in front of the class. Except she wanted to be addressed by her name which I never realised so after repeating things many times, feeling massively embarrassed as classmates laughed at the situation, I muttered "f**k this" and sat down. I've never seen a teacher so incandescent with rage over something so minor, she stormed over and if she could have would have tried to throw me out the class. Instead I was asked to stand outside for more or less the majority of the class. I think this was my first week of secondary school. I utterly detested this woman. This certainly had an effect on me, more or less from then on I took no shit from any teacher and was probably an absolute little c**t of a pupil. I'd say a total power play from her that had the complete opposite effect.

I love cooking, but it's all my focus on one or two dishes, while drinking copious amounts of beer. I think the pressures of rattling out f**k knows how many dishes in a short space of time would stress me out big time. I mean no disrespect, but that sounds even more dull than what I do. Least you enjoy it.

Many years ago now, I used to work with a guy in my team who was prone to moments of just bonkers behaviour, but was otherwise a really sound guy. He was the sole reason why the company no longer allowed alcohol to be consumed on premises (they used to crack open the champagne when we won contracts or renewed them) something to do with him running around semi-naked outside with one of the bosses chasing him. I never witnessed this but I'm told it was a good laugh. Anyway, I attended this Christmas night out in Paisley and this lad I worked with was there, the company always provided loads of booze vouchers, to the point it was more or less a free bar and so it was always very well attended, to the point this year the actual managing director was there, a sound guy and it turns out probably a very good sense of humour. Some point during the night I hear a commotion on the dance floor, the lad in my team has his breechs down as I turned to look and is bending over doing some kind of Ace Ventura thing with his arsecheeks right in front of the MD! One of the managers was scrambling to cover what was going on and the guy was just laughing at it. The lad got carted home in a taxi and the night went on. The next working day the boy in my team is just talking about it with me and comes away with "you know it's funny [insert MDs name] has actually seen my bumhole" *laughs" having got used to his antics I'm just fucking laughing about it. There was no reprimand for the lad and apparently everyone saw the funny side. Looking back now, I think the guy may have had some mental issues and probably shouldn't have been drinking. I think the place I worked made certain allowances for him.

See I like dogs (Tommy from Snatch meme) but, I don't think I'd fancy walking around half he day with them picking up shite and trying to stop them pumping each other. Out of all of the one's so far who enjoyed their job this would probably be the winner so far though.

Why is it the maths department always had a wee separate block from the main school? Or was that just mine.

I'm not sure what's worse here, the awful "cheese rolls" or your manager going tonto over half an hour. The manager sounds like an outrageous c**t tbh.

Drug trafficking?

Curious to know, why the change of career? I might need a retaining wall in the near future tbh. At least 5 houses on my estate are currently getting some sort of house modification or building work at the moment (the constant banging and grinding (yes yes Kenneth Williams gif) is really adding to my day) and about another 5 houses have already had this type of work done already in lockdown. Seems this kind of building trade stuff is absolutely booming. Lucky guy, PT wouldn't be for me, probably because i'm a lazy b*****d and like to drink beer. See this is where I am, maybe, I don't hate it... I just cant get over the fact that, really, it's fucking boring and it all just feels a bit pointless. I literally only do it for the money, which is good. I don't think anyone would listen to me lecture them voluntarily, it's nice you enjoy it, but I think it would bore me to death. Basically subtly looking for career change advice here now.

I sit at a computer all day, well I'm supposed to anyway and I mean, it is fucking shite, but mopping floors, cleaning or stacking shelves also sounds fucking shite. In fact, aren't all jobs fucking shite, boring, soul crushing. Does anyone actually enjoy what they do, if so what do you do please? No bullshit either, genuinely look forward to going to work, nothing less.

We had an art teacher that was an alleged beast at our school, there was this story that seemed to be handed down from each year that he'd put a cucumber up a girls bum. The story was diluted down over the years to the girl had been standing on the desk, hanging objects from the ceiling (art related) and he prodded her bum with an object. Either way he was a fucking absolute weirdo, thick glasses, heavy mouth breathing creep! He got sacked while I was there, for punching/pushing a pupil, who was in fact the biggest wee fanny in the entire school and in my school that was really quite the achievement. Probably deserved it basically. All the techy teachers were alcoholics.

Aye there was also a bit of that. The girl I mentioned from previous posts used to send me screenshots of messages she got from guys in the work place. Absolutely horrendous / cringeworthy stuff I don't even want to repeat. For me it was a personal two pint limit at lunch. I worked down in London at various times and it was even worse, people tanning 6 pints at lunch and heading back to the office. If I had 6 pints in a little over an hour I'd defo have a noticeable buzz on and probably verging on feeling like shite come 5pm. Some bosses are absolutely sound with it, worked at another company, the boss would come out and sink 2 or 3 with the rest of us like it was no big deal. Seemed like he could handle a drink though and he was, to be fair, one of the best bosses I've ever had.

What the hell is going on with this kind of stewarding? Not able to sing and have a bit of banter between fans, that's part of the fun at football. Would be interested to the company that provides stewarding if anyone knows?

Was an interesting couple of days right enough, I'm actually so glad I work from home now as I'd rather not be involved in this sort of stuff and the drinking culture in finance companies is really quite bad. Yeah there was another incident of drinking during a lunch hour, which wasn't actually against company policy but when you do it outside and the head of the dept. walks past it usually doesn't go down well. Think a lot was down to his attitude on the day he returned though, absolutely blasé about the whole thing.

Ned Nederlander is a terrifying individual

Finally / Thank f**k, I've never got cash on me.

I was chatting to a guy I used to work with yesterday, the subject of past work nights out came up and one in particular that's quite funny to look back on now, so thought I’d share. Apologies for the length, it's been a slow day, stick with it though. I lived and worked in Edinburgh city, sharing a flat with the missus, her brother and his girlfriend at Haymarket. It was during the Fringe, we all decided to go out, watch a few shows and probably get right on it. Everyone else had a day off (b*****ds) except me as work was busy, so after taking in a circus show I suggested it was in everyone's best interests that a scran should be had, before continuing. We bumped into a couple of lads I worked with in the pub, both working away from home, a large chap from Northern Ireland (Chris) who also liked a drink and a quieter chap from Kent (who I'll refer to as such) in his early 50's who no doubt was enjoying his freedom away from the wife. We had all the intentions of getting back out to take in what the Fringe had to offer, but it was one of those situations where everyone was just having a good time, sharing stories and we ended up carrying on drinking in this pub for many hours. Things started to take a turn as the tales of nights out grew wilder and Kent proclaimed he'd never been to the strippers before, leading to her brother insisting we should all go. At this point there was a certain level of concern growing for me for the following reasons. I worked for a well-known finance company with lots contractors, some of them I loosely managed and we drank quite often during the week. It got to the point recently, that the contractors in my team were calling in sick after nights out, my boss would always ask me what happened as he knew I'd be there, he never blamed me but I got the feeling he wanted to say something, although it wasn’t like him to hold back. The other reason is her brother is more or less unstoppable in terms of his ability to consume alcohol/substances, we've turned a few drinks into many days on more occasions than I can remember and I feared for Kent. Anyway, off we went to the ATMs, transferring money around and making withdrawals. The ladies rightfully and sensibly long since departed and me wishing I'd done the same, I'm essentially now a chaperone. Northern Irish Chris was my long-term drinking partner while we worked together, had been out with me and her brother a few times, knowing the recent events, we more or less simultaneously turned and said “I've got a really bad feeling about this." Then off we went. We headed for the Western Bar (I know, I know) for those who've never been it's about the worst choice of three on the triangle. It was all a good laugh though, as Kent's night had now become dances from rather large girls interspersed with shots of tequila and jaeger. He was loving it. Chris sensibly called it a night and things began to get hazy for me. I lost the other two, despite several phone calls I gave up, assumed all would be well, grabbed a takeaway and headed home. The next morning, I woke, her brother was in the flat, had all the lights on and was talking loudly to himself, still drunk at the very least. I had messages on my phone from Kent, advising that her brother was "crazy" and "he loved him", also accompanied by some blurry photos with some... women. Probably still drunk as well, I readied myself and ventured to the office. Chris was there, we had a laugh about last night and discussed a potential lunch time curer. Usually everyone was in around 9am, but no sign of Kent. I gave it 30 minutes and messaged him, which was not even delivered on WhatsApp. Great. Multiple enquiries from the boss, including if we were out last night, multiple failed attempts to reach his mobile had resulted in a lunchtime trip to his accommodation for me to see if I could rouse him. No answer, nothing. Genuinely starting to get worried now and the boss seemed anxious as well. One of the senior guys then told me, something similar to this happened before to the boss and the person had actually died! If I needed anything to increase my fear, this was it. I was frantically messaging her brother asking what happened to Kent, but he had no idea. By the afternoon a decision was made to use the emergency contact (his wife) to let her know her husband hadn't arrived at work and we couldn't reach him. She was incredibly worried and all day long I had people asking me what happened to Kent last night. Work day ends, Chris, her brother and I go to the pub to try and piece things together. Her bro indicates he left the last place they were in, tried to get Kent to leave, gave up and that was it really. Back at the flat later I have one last attempt to call Kent, which fails and I try to get some sleep. Next day I wake, try Kent's phone; still no answer, worry more and walk up to the office. I walk in and there he is, this fucking big idiot is sitting at his desk as if nothing happened, still wearing the same clothes he had on that night. Unreal. I said I think we might need a chat, he smelled like a pub carpet and had multiple booze stains on him. I was like "mate, where the f**k have you been and your wife is probably going to kill you, also, you'll be lucky to still have a job. Also please leave me out of your explanation." He just laughed and said he'd sort it out. At that point, I couldn't really see the funny side as people were genuinely worried for him and advised he may owe some people an explanation. He asked for a charger as his was broken, shortly after the phone powered on it was blowing up, ringing non-stop, he just chuckled and ignored it. His nonchalance for someone that was missing and uncontactable for a day with people fearing the worst was astounding. So anyway, after a stern discussion from the boss, he continued to work for the company. His wife came up with him to Edinburgh the following week, I guess to take on the chaperone role. A month later he told me he'd resigned and was leaving that day. I found out years later from the boss that he'd actually sacked him and just let him tell people he left, he still asks me what really happened that night. I have never to this day found out the real story of what happened and Kent has never told me either, but her brothers’ recollections of the night improved to surmise he potentially went home with a sex worker. Perhaps had a really nice time.

The thrill of the chase is more fun* *Loyalties

I've received 7 citations (so far) for jury service I think, at least anyway and I'm still fairly young. They seem absolutely determined to get me in there. All but one of the occasions I was a contractor and I really didn't want to potentially go a long time without any pay, so I got out of it. The one time I was in a permanent job, got a high court citation and thought this is my chance to get a pass for 5 years. Turned up, waited for ages, told to go to lunch, came back and was told to go home. I asked when to come back or if I should phone, but apparently the case was over. A few months later I got another citation, I sent a letter saying I'd attended recently and wasn't called. I got a response to say I may be cited again in 5 years, 5 years almost to the day I got another citation. Randomly selected my fucking arse tbh. I've had another two citations since, managed to get out of going to them but fully expecting another one to arrive soon. A friend who's partner is an advocate has said something along the lines of "I've read about the case and already made my mind up that they are guilty" would likely get you sent home.

Better?

Second is being very generous. Lovely lassie, very fond ae er hole. Actually probably a 9 as well.