Rudolph Hucker

tbh, I think you're being a bit unfair on them. Maybe they saw the originals on tv and thought they were documentaries, wouldn't surprise me. Now, if they don't know who won the World Cup in 1967 by humping the previous holders, THAT would be something to get yerself aerated about.

Once an idiot, always an idiot.

You're not missing much, they're not great. But wouldn't it be better if they FVCKED off?

It's for the best, and usually funnier. ( cue another unfunny meme.......)

Using "dinghy" when you mean "dingy". Annoying thing, predictive text, innit?

bantz. top bantz #bantz dece mentalist and slightly off topic, almost every bloody meme used to respond to a post is unfunny and an utter waste of space

M8 M9 Burds in conversation saying " So Ah'm like this........... An' then she's like that......." "boils my piss" Scenes Putting "#" in front of random words as if it was a stupid Twerper hashtag

She must be aff her heid. Once she has qualified, what lawyer is going to take on such a pathetically self- promoting bint as this? Ahh yes - Aamer Anwar..............

I was going to post that but I was too fucking busy. Or vice versa.She was a funny woman all right.

Think we've fairly well got it covered now - don't want to Hammerite

Good decision. Don't want to end up tired and emulsional.

I take it the mattress is full, then?

Mebbe he'll fit floats to his dad's bike and pedal his way across. Soon as you like, Norman.......

Button-down shirt collars. Pointless waste of time. I won't buy a "dress" shirt with those annoying wee abominations on it and any casual shirt I get with them has the buttons undone immediately and permanently.

^^^^^^^ word salad.

Looking at many of them, it seems that wimmin in Paisley can't pronounce the word "salad".

They'll maybe claim to be City or United fans, but which of Scotland's gruesome twosome is their "big" team?

Must have a bloody good hiding-place then.......

Should've bought the next one up in the range - it types garbled posts and saves you the bother.

A brickie's labourer goes to the doc complaining of terrible constipation. The doc gets him to drop his drawers and bend over so he can have a look. "Okay, I can see the problem", says the doc, "don't move." Doc goes to his golfbag, which is sat in the corner, and gets his driver out. Standing on a chair, he addresses the arse, swings back, and BAM! Shrapnel flying all over the place, and immediate feelings of relief for the patient. "That's great, doc, thanks" says the guy, "but is it likely to happen again?" "No," says the doc. "Well, not as long as you stop wiping your arse with old cement bags......."

A guy is always on at his wife to give him a blowjob but she always refuses, saying she was shy, she wouldn't put "that" in her mouth and anyway she wouldn't risk him coming in her mouth either. He tried for ages to get her to do it if he wore a condom but she refused saying she hated the taste of rubber. Finally he thinks he's found the answer - flavoured condoms! He puts this to her and after a while she agrees, and he nips out for some while she has a couple of drinks to get her courage up. By the time he gets back they're both up for it and dash upstairs, strip off and jump into bed. She dives under the duvet and starts sucking and slurping away. After a minute or two she stops for breath and says "This is magic - I didn't know the did a "cheese & onion" flavour!" He says "Ehh, no love, they don't - I huvny actually pit wan on yet......."

Guy fell under a steam train on the West Highland Line. He was chuffed to bits.

Thank feck for that. Anybody got a padlock??

v.......except that we both know you're taking the populist view as gospel and therefore talking crap here, don't we - there's a massive difference between a genuine "head's gone" episode and half a dozen or so numpties shouting "Heads Gone!", missing apostrophe and all, in support of their even numptier mate. Still, if it keeps you happy, son, that's fine by me since we both know you're struggling to have a pop at me apart from on this flimsiest of pretexts. BTW, if there's one thing that's consistent about you it's that you will totally ignore any part of a post that is accurate and which you cannot contest. With that in mind, it's nice to see it confirmed that the first part of my post was obviously on the money. Unlucky, champ!

Don't take him seriously, guys; it's just yet another Saturday night when he hasn't managed to get his hole. Good luck to Hopkin, hope he does okay - especially when you play the teams round about Morton.