GordonD

A guy goes skydiving for the first time and is surprised to see a blind man climbing into the plane. He's wearing the full parachute gear so he's obviously not just along for the ride. The guy asks him, "Excuse me, but are you actually jumping today?" The blind man says, "Oh yes, I come here most weekends. I really enjoy the feeling of the wind rushing past my face!" The guy says, "If you don't mind me asking, how do you know when you're near the ground, so you can get ready for landing?" The blind man says, "It's easy. I just prepare myself when the dug's lead goes slack!"

Did you hear about the dog with no legs? His owner used to take him for Draggies. * Where do you find a dog with no legs? Exactly where you left it.

No, it's more like you go for the curry and find that it's been cooked by the chef's ten-year-old son "because it's the best way to train him".

Saw Wonder Woman today. Wid.

Well, that would exclude me.

There has been a collision in the English Channel - a ship loaded with brown paint has run into a ship loaded with red paint. The sailors are currently marooned.

This seems to have been overlooked in the post-election shambles. Adam West, who played Batman in the 1960s TV series, died on Friday aged 88. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-40239684

Time to resurrect the maximum-of-three-foreigners rule which would force teams to develop youngsters rather than importing players from Europe or further afield.

So Dundee United and ICT can piss off then?

Why do you refer to the OF separately? Are they worthy of special treatment?

Be fair, he's only stayed in Salvation Army hostels until now.

True. But I haven't seen many people on here in favour of the proposal.

WIWAL there was a woman of that name living a couple of doors away. My mum always pronounced her name "Pour-chuss".

Maybe it's too early on a Sunday morning but I'm just not seeing anything that says it's anything other than people who've read the article. Of course if the 80% are all OF fans...

WTF? The poll on that page is 80% in favour of the Colts joining the league.

Just what the small clubs need - no gate money but still have to pay the players etc.

Talk about misleading headlines...

In last week's 'River City' somebody suggested that the character A.J. went to a fancy dress party as Navid from 'Still Game'. This was rejected as A.J. was far too young. (Both characters played by the same actor, in case you didn't know.)

Says the St. Johnstone supporter!

The Longest Day I put the DVD on as a kind of tribute to the guys who went through it for real, 73 years ago today.

Also an egg that has been in the fridge will crack when you boil it.

Girl on the right looks as if she's in the commandos!

Yes, this is what it was like before they tightened things up.

Vegetables.

Te sodding h key on my laptop is only working part of the time. Pain in te arse wen I don't notice it.