bigdel6cans

A lurverly wee Artois

I get a txt asking if " I dont mind jumping into morrisons to get a few things " apparently its on a list so wont take me long ! when i get off the train. Firstly, she fucking works in morrisons ...Secondly, when i conceded and went in and found her she says laughing "its ok i left the list in the kitchen, i will just get it tomorrow" FFS ( I write this from the pub ) still fu **ing raging.

Keep the flat [emoji38]

Yip...she has even been caught out on occasion when i bump into someone and they tell me "it was a shame you couldn't make it last week are you feeling better ?" err aw aye erm sorry . To go home and tell her I bumped into wats her face etc to just get told..."aye I did not want to go" . jeez feckin wuman

Whats the point in lunchtime then ? [emoji482]

c**nts that are already drunk and try to talk to you when you have just nipped in for a lunchtime pint.

A survey a couple of years back Researchers made their findings by analysing how many customers for popular beer brands fit into in the widely used A (upper middle class) and B (middle class) social grades and )did not bother about the scheme class, i.e tennants drinkers) but suprise suprise Garlsberg came 10th (last) suprise ? because why was it even in the top ten anyway ? tennants didnt make any list suprisingly not. Anyway what i suggest ? First off all REMEMBER anything you drink from now on is a lot stronger than your pee water tennants so unless you think you are man enough to step up to the bar and move on to a world of fascinating lagers ( this invite is to all tennants drinkers) let yourself evolve into a fantastic world of taste and drunken eutopia.....

not to criticise NJ to try and educate you and your fellow T drinkers out there that there is a whole world of excellent lagers to tintalize your tastebuds [emoji482]

Hmmm think you took my post to be a positive, my thinking was if birds (females) are drinking your tennants then what does that say about your weak piss poor pint of tennants ? but on a positive note i like your enthusiasm [emoji106]

in the pub just now to watch the footy and turn round to see a bird (female) drinking a pint of tennants....enough said me thinks. on a side note she is a wid [emoji6]

Lager tops ? Cocktail thread for this please.[emoji484]

How did you get into my family photo album ?

Stay on a wee island on west coast of Scotland so have to get the ferry to commute to work, we used to use the 1 car to get to the ferry but she has dropped down to part time and i get the train now so we have 2 cars on the island, so now she is driving herself to the ferry terminal carpark and get a call from her sounding a bit perplexed and agitated asking ....do i nèed to dri e into the space or reverse in ? you know i can only reverse out !!

I go for Tennants in scummy pubs because the pipes will be cleaner just because of the volume of lager passing through, and you don't know how long it's been since someone ordered a Stella. Prefer the taste and hit of 5% lagers though. Beginning to like the lagery ales you get now, like Black Isle Blonde. This ^^^ Almost , in said scummy pubs would never touch a Premium as feck knows the last time a pint ran through it, usually the premium taps are just there for show and not actually hooked up to an actuall keg because no one in said scummy pub can afford it so I just go safe and have a bottle of something, sen earlier in the thread Skol was mentioned, remember a couple of years back the irish kinda pub in St Vincents Pl in Glasgow had Skol on tap, anyway Tinants is pure pish

Getting ready for a wee week away and the daughter in laws mum is staying over rather than stick the dog in kennels, anyway gets handed a bag full of paperwork and she says "will you put that up the loft". wtf is it i ask ? ...."i dont want to leave out any important paperwork for her to look at" really !!! the same shitty bank statements etc that were in the LOCKED filling fuckin cabinet ( only 3 drawers) in the spare room ??? refused popped open a beer and declared my self officially on holliday. can already feel the seethe as its stomping about....

I fixed Paolo Nutini's dad's Dyson....ok a 3rd party but maybe he just sent his da in with it...

*uck I can relate to this, for me it's either fuckin Tina Turner or some 60's girl band, Ifeel your pain...I feel your pai

If we win we're through, if we lose we're out. If we draw then win on penalties then we'll finish with 9 points and a GD of +6 which will definitely be ahead of the runners up in groups A and F as they can only get 8 points, and almost certainly group B barring an 8 goal win for Peterhead who are on 6 points with a -2 GD. Hearts (6 pts) are playing Dunfermline ( so they can't both get to 9. So we'd need one more runner up to finish below us. Group G would be the next target- as long as Albion Rovers don't win by 3 or more away to QoS and Hamilton by 4 at home to Stenny neither of them would reach 9 pts with +6 difference too... so those 4 groups would be enough to qualify In terms of the other 3 groups for completeness, for 9 and +6 GD to finish above the runner up we'd need. C- would expect this to go to a winner takes all Dundee derby, loser could end up on 9 pts but too many GD variables to work out with Dundee still having 2 games to go D- would need Ross County to lose at Arbroath or Hibs to take 1 point max away to Alloa. E- Would need Killie to win by 2 goals max (or not win at all obvs) So I think a draw and win on penalties would do it though I'd rather we just won. There probably is a way we can get through on 8 but no chance I'm working that out. And if you're not tired after that...

The opposite to a slack dachshund ?

Anyway imagine having a "slack dachshund" ooh er missus

Sorry I get your point , still in a delerium of happiness with the jags winning 5 - 0 [emoji41]

Your point is?

I assume everyone is stunned in glorious silence at the first half [emoji8]

A Dachshund (pedigree or not ) is neither a dog or a DUG , if I'd seen a *unt on a train with a sausage with 4 legs I'd have came straight to this thread and said....iv just seen a *unt on the train with a Dachshund on his lap what a *unt.