Swami

I talk shite.

Slattery playing well, O’Hara would be as well sitting next to me.

Grimshaw looks terrified of the ball here.

Just think how good we’re going to be when Mich’el Parker is up to speed.

Can’t really do that any more, on account of how absolutely massive we are these days.

‘Alexa, get me Motherwell’s contact details to submit a complaint. They know too much’.

I’d imagine some of the responses were along the lines of ‘I was at that shit-show at Dens a couple of weeks before, and f**k watching that again’.

I’m a wee bit disappointed about the ‘b*****d’ quotient so far. We were led to believe it would be a team full of them. Slattery is quite b*****d-y but there doesn’t seem to be much else. Maybe Alexander unleashes the inner-b*****d. I suppose Lawless is a b*****d of sorts.

Announce Van Veen again.

Ian Wright, w**k, w**k, w**k, Ian Wright, w**k, w**k, w**k. Sang to Ian Wright.

Surely we should just fling another couple of mil at them and take Falcao as well? Might not get in the team above Van Veen right enough.

This is still, and I think it always will be, the single worst game I have ever been at.

Some save that.

My mate did that as well. Cheeky b*****ds. He told me the stream was fine.

(I actually think it would be a good signing)

Ricki Lamie shouts for the ball in the third person. Liam Kelly loves a bit of profanity. I’ll probably just try and forget about the rest of it.

Pakora (mushroom) and a carton of Ribena it is.

It’s the feel good hit of the summer.

Might book a hotel in Airdrie and pretend it’s a European trip.

My favourite comment from the petition.

Feel like we always get Hibs first game of the season.

St Mirren are going to be hilariously shite next season.

And Dundee back in the league. We’re practically starting on 9 points.