Busta Nut Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 50 minutes ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said: Unfortunately historically she has history with lawyers and police. I done 3 hours in a cell on Friday night when I went to collect him, she was refusing access for no reason other than the fact I was questioning things that were causing me concern (he was 4 at the time). She phoned the police saying I was trying to kick her door down, what she didn't realise was her next door neighbour was standing in the street the whole time waiting for his taxi. No charges brought but it was a horrific experience,the 2 coppers were brilliant to be fair and gave me a lot of unofficial advice moving forwards when they took me back to my car from Govan police station. 6 years ago today (he was 6), a week after I got engaged the police arrived at my mums door with another false accusation that I was preventing my son from returning to his mum. An hour or so of police time wasted and again, the 2 coppers were excellent and very sympathetic. Unfortunately this lead to the hardest year of my life, lawyers got involved and I was prevented access. The demands for reinstatement was utterly ridiculous and I couldn't believe a lawyer would entertain it but for easy legal aid fees, I can believe it. The main one however was to drop my access from every full weekend to 3 out of 4. This from the very same person on a year before would start shouting at me if I didn't have a baby sitter if I couldn't take him one night at the weekend, even when we were together and I worked 2 jobs just to make ends meet, I still had to get my mum to look after him whilst I worked on a Saturday night, whilst she was in the house doing nothing... Anyway, I tried to negotiate as not seeing my son for nearly 2 weeks would hurt me. Safe to say the lawyers stood firm by their client. I was stopped from seeing him on Christmas day and indeed he had to wait until the end of January before getting his presents when I decided to stop thinking about me and stooped to her demands so the wee man could have some sort of normality back. Throughout discussions I had asked for access to be resumed whilst we negotiated to allow the wee man immunity from it, this was declined, I also offered to pay an independent lawyer of her choice for mediation, this was also declined. After access restarted the CSA wrote to me saying they had been advised of a change of circumstances and asked me to call. Turned out my payments were to remain the same, within a fortnight a new lawyer letter came in, demanding 2 weekends a month rather than1. A coincidence? Access was messed about and messed about, my then my mum had started paying a specialist family lawyer as i had been representing myself. 6000 quid she was out of pocket and it got us Nowhere... I would drive to Glasgow on a Friday to get a phone call from my lawyer to say she wasn't giving access that weekend. They were absolutely stunned! Father's day 2014, 6 months after the battle started, a battle I did not want and constantly pleaded for it to tend, I was again denied access. Let's just say, if my wife was home from her dad's 10 minutes later, shed have found the completed suicide letter and her husband out the door somewhere, no idea if I would've done it in the end but I was absolutely fucked. Was struggling in work (bosses were amazing with me though), my mum out of pocket to the tune of 6k, my pleads for peace being ignored and my son used as a tool to humiliate and Destroy me, I couldn't cope, I was phoning the doctor everyday and couldn't get appointment, I met with my msp who was excellent, but the letter from Rosanna Cunningham was horrendous. I just didn't see the point anymore and wanted to end it... I'm still here to tell the story but I am damaged emotionally because of it, I can't seem to cry in joy or feel hurt at things that should, I just go numb. Things improved gradually, I wrote a 7 page from the heart letter to her mum pleading for her help, that was June 2014. Then later as my son got older and more annoyed at what he was seeing, he ran away from his mum and phoned me. He jumped back in my car and refused to get out unless his mum stopped it. After that things have been as decent as they can be, he was 8 by that point, about 2 months before we got married. Lawyers were still in the background but for me it was a guarantee that there would be no access issues for the wedding day, we were absolutely shitting it incase it started but thankfully it never. Worth adding by the way, I left his mum on decent terms, I wasn't cheating or anything. And my wife i met her 20 months after splitting and with her coming from Falkirk, they had never known each other before. So there wasn't any bad blood to have caused these events. Anyway, in short (no danger ) her sending lawyers letters don't bother me now, they get binned but I havent had one in over a year. She will not make this an easy process, deep down she will know he will be better off here but of course she's never going to admit that. What gives me the fear is she can cause a big stinker if the wee man choses to move and I have no idea how ugly it can end up, this ultimately will affect the wee man. That's fucking awful, I hate to hear of this shit. I know of a few folk that have access issues, rightly or wrongly. In your case it seems entirely unjust and I am glad you are here to tell the horrid tales. I hope it all works out well for you all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 4 hours ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said: Unfortunately I dont think it'll be a smooth process. His mum knows now he wants to leave as he let it out last week, minutes after he came off the phone to me asking to move in but I told him to get christmas out the road first. He wasn't long home so I think his mum heard and went and challenged him. We had a discussion again tonight when I took him back to his mums, so I hope he keeps thinking and weighs everything up. Of course I could persuade him and tell him how much better it would be here but I think that's the wrong approach. He knows deep down, he just needs to know the practicalities of it all so he can make an informed decision. He won't make many bigger decisions in his young life than this. It has to be right... I quotes this one As it’s shorter! I hate it when the kids become the pawns when one parent decides to be an arsehole. Our access is laid out in some document in course of the divorce process. Not that there was much argument. We both agree from the off that we wouldn’t use them. We managed agree holiday divy up and at times help each out. Don’t get me wrong there’s frustration etc at times but that gets discussed with a friend not kids It does sound like she’s trying get the most maintenance she can out of you! And as it’s legal aid it has no financial impact on her. Nor does she give a f**k about emotion damage she’s doing to her son. Now he’s 12 any family court stuff will involve him so if you’ve laid groundwork and he fully understands options he can answer their questions too. My sons 12 next year and I asked him recently if he’d want to live with dad, I was surprised as he said he’d actuality like a bit more time with me! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 9, 2019 Share Posted December 9, 2019 1 hour ago, RH33 said: I quotes this one As it’s shorter! I hate it when the kids become the pawns when one parent decides to be an arsehole. Our access is laid out in some document in course of the divorce process. Not that there was much argument. We both agree from the off that we wouldn’t use them. We managed agree holiday divy up and at times help each out. Don’t get me wrong there’s frustration etc at times but that gets discussed with a friend not kids It does sound like she’s trying get the most maintenance she can out of you! And as it’s legal aid it has no financial impact on her. Nor does she give a f**k about emotion damage she’s doing to her son. Now he’s 12 any family court stuff will involve him so if you’ve laid groundwork and he fully understands options he can answer their questions too. My sons 12 next year and I asked him recently if he’d want to live with dad, I was surprised as he said he’d actuality like a bit more time with me! Keep at it, he'll get the hint eventually and move out... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 (edited) Delighted doesn't cover how happy i feel right now,our daughter had a meeting with the senior social worker yesterday and she has finally admitted the kids are better off staying with us. Edited December 10, 2019 by keithgy 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingo ohne Flamingo Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 8 hours ago, keithgy said: Delighted doesn't cover how happy i feel right now,our daughter had a meeting with the senior social worker yesterday and she has finally admitted the kids are better off staying with us. Glad to hear! From what I hear on a daily basis the social work aren't the greatest, probably because of the values and criterias they need to work to, but hearing this Keith shows that occasionally they do get it right. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 20 week scan tomorrow, find out if I’m painting the bedroom blue or pink 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingo ohne Flamingo Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 My poor wee lassie just doesn't get a break from viruses or something or other... Had a terrible sleep last night and even in with us she slept poorly. Yesterday afternoon she had a few rashes round her mouth and now they've got worse... Yet another trip to the doctor tomorrow First thought it was Hand Foot and Mouth, something she had a few months ago, but this looks like Impetigo... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Aye that looks like impetigo. Our wee girl had it all over her nose area a couple years ago. We were given a cream and it cleared up really quickly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingo ohne Flamingo Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 3 minutes ago, Honest Saints Fan said: Aye that looks like impetigo. Our wee girl had it all over her nose area a couple years ago. We were given a cream and it cleared up really quickly. Was this from the doctors or the pharmacy (minor ailments)? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 8 minutes ago, lichtie23 said: 20 week scan tomorrow, find out if I’m painting the bedroom blue or pink Surely Maroon either way? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Surely Maroon either way?Correct sir 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 15 minutes ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said: Was this from the doctors or the pharmacy (minor ailments)? Originally went to the pharmacy who diagnosed it but they couldn't give me a prescription as the wee one was under 2 so had to go to the Dr for the bit of paper! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingo ohne Flamingo Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Just now, Honest Saints Fan said: Originally went to the pharmacy who diagnosed it but they couldn't give me a prescription as the wee one was under 2 so had to go to the Dr for the bit of paper! Ours is just shy of 18 months so definitely a doctor visit. Did your wee one just have it on the nose or did it spread elsewhere? Our wee one has spots on her legs and belly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest Saints Fan Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 38 minutes ago, Ingo ohne Flamingo said: Ours is just shy of 18 months so definitely a doctor visit. Did your wee one just have it on the nose or did it spread elsewhere? Our wee one has spots on her legs and belly. Yeah just all round her nose. It's really contagious though so can spread everywhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 1 hour ago, lichtie23 said: 20 week scan tomorrow, find out if I’m painting the bedroom blue or pink Blue and pink stripes if it's twins. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Blue and pink stripes if it's twins.Great shout. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Just paint it maroon and kill 2 birds with one stone. It's AFC colours and it's a neutral colour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 Just paint it maroon and kill 2 birds with one stone. It's AFC colours and it's a neutral colour. Sounds absolutely perfect. Give the child no choice on who he/she supports......just as it should be 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 I've never lived within 100 miles of Dumfries and was brought up a Queens fan. My dad inflicted it on me, so it's only fair that I inflict it on my kids too. In reality, I'll give them the same rule I was given. Support who you want, as long as it's not the old firm. Hopefully taking then to see Queens every so often hooks them in though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lichtie23 Posted December 10, 2019 Share Posted December 10, 2019 I've never lived within 100 miles of Dumfries and was brought up a Queens fan. My dad inflicted it on me, so it's only fair that I inflict it on my kids too. In reality, I'll give them the same rule I was given. Support who you want, as long as it's not the old firm. Hopefully taking then to see Queens every so often hooks them in though.The Lichties have been trying really hard to get kids through the gates at Gayfield in recent years. Lots of projects and now young Lichties club. Also season tickets are £30 which is reasonable. I run the supporters buses for the supporters club and we have seen a rise in kids coming on the bus. As you say hopefully they get hooked at a young age, there is nothing worse than when we use to see 2 full buses of old firm fans leave the town on a Saturday while there were only 15-20 on the Lichties bus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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