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Pregnancy And Parenting


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12 hours ago, stimpy said:

Been speaking to my wife about getting guardianship of my step daughter. Closest I can get to her short of adoption. I was wondering if anyone has done this before? 

I'm really just trying to find out how much it'll cost me for a solicitor and court fees etc. 

My biggest regret is not adopting my step daughter. By the time we wanted to she was too old. Best we could do was legally change her name. 

Never went down the guardianship route. 

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On 18/08/2023 at 12:14, Torpar said:

Is, or was, the bar for being a "Good dad" ridiculously low?

The amount of times I've heard from people "You're such a good dad" when all I'm doing is walking around with one or both of my kids. Or I'll take my kid(s) to a doctor's appointment or the supermarket, "oh giving mom a break eh?" How shite were fathers in the past, that just actually being a dad to your kids is considered expectational parenting!  

It is low I think. I'm not the most involved dad in the world I'd say, but I'll run around the garden with the older one like a big wean myself with water guns if the weather is decent and feed the wee man during the night if he wakes up for example. She's in one of these WhatsApp "mum groups" (sounds awful) and they are constantly moaning about their men doing nothing with the kid(s) or sitting playing video games in their free time. Makes me look like father of the year though, more they fuckup the more I look like a rockstar. All I ask in life is don't moan about me going to home games and the pub before it. 

Weird thing is, I remember my dad playing in the garden with me for hours when I was a kid, so maybe it's worse now? 

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6 minutes ago, thistledo said:

It is low I think. I'm not the most involved dad in the world I'd say, but I'll run around the garden with the older one like a big wean myself with water guns if the weather is decent and feed the wee man during the night if he wakes up for example. She's in one of these WhatsApp "mum groups" (sounds awful) and they are constantly moaning about their men doing nothing with the kid(s) or sitting playing video games in their free time. Makes me look like father of the year though, more they fuckup the more I look like a rockstar. All I ask in life is don't moan about me going to home games and the pub before it. 

Weird thing is, I remember my dad playing in the garden with me for hours when I was a kid, so maybe it's worse now? 

My dad worked shifts, so often I'd go a week at a time without seeing him (say, if he was on back shift). But I do remember him taking me to the park to play football with me, taking me fishing (twice - I didn't like it; he took Scott loads though) and loads of other things. 

I try - even if we're just inside, I make sure I'm watching stuff with my kids every day (an excuse to sit with them and talk). 

It isn't difficult. It isn't work. 

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My youngest can take up a fair bit of my time and I was aware over summer the middle (eldest still at his dad and still no explanation as to why not talking to me) wasn't getting time. Started making effort just to lie on my bed with her and talk nonsense every evening, even if youngest bouncing off walls.

She started High school last week and last night walked in and burst in to tears. Was expecting it as it's a huge school (1500) and friendship realignments etc.

 

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12 minutes ago, scottsdad said:

My dad worked shifts, so often I'd go a week at a time without seeing him (say, if he was on back shift). But I do remember him taking me to the park to play football with me, taking me fishing (twice - I didn't like it; he took Scott loads though) and loads of other things. 

I try - even if we're just inside, I make sure I'm watching stuff with my kids every day (an excuse to sit with them and talk). 

It isn't difficult. It isn't work. 

Ah man going fishing with the auld man, like a rite of passage sort of thing, I loved it even though the first fish I ever got on a line managed to get away. (honest) sparked a like for fishing that continues to this day, used to go fishing with my grandpa all the time as well and taught me how to fly-fish. Only thing is I'm shite at tying lines and hooks so it'll be a right laugh when I attempt taking mine for the first time. 

 

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On 18/08/2023 at 12:14, Torpar said:

Is, or was, the bar for being a "Good dad" ridiculously low?

The amount of times I've heard from people "You're such a good dad" when all I'm doing is walking around with one or both of my kids. Or I'll take my kid(s) to a doctor's appointment or the supermarket, "oh giving mom a break eh?" How shite were fathers in the past, that just actually being a dad to your kids is considered expectational parenting!  

My mother-in-law continually expresses amazement that I will happily do things at the weekend with my boy as well as things like putting a wash on and hanging it out or cooking dinner.  Partly generational I'm sure but mainly due to her ex-husband being a selfish p***k.

I'm not some dad-of-the-year candidate or anything but she seems to think I am.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Trying to transition the wee one from two naps to one nap for about 4 weeks and it doesn't seem like we're winning. I say we're not winning, we have got her on one nap a day, the problem is she's waking up at 5am, going to about half 10 then sleeping for about an hour and 20 minutes. She forcible refuses an afternoon nap but going from before 12 to about 6.30pm makes dinner time and afterwards a bit of a slog as she clearly just needs her bed. She sleeps 11 hours pretty consistently through the night but even when she stays asleep until 6am we struggle to keep her up in the mornings past 11am. I'd hoped after a few weeks she'd adjust to staying up later but by half 10 she's falling about and crying at every wee thing that goes wrong. I've tried a couple of shorter nap days but it didnt work out so I guess its just persevering with this until she can stay up till 11 or 12 every morning, which is a bit of a nightmare thought the way it's been going. 

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Our youngest grandson is autistic, and told us this joke yesterday.

"What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?"

"Special Forces!"

He also told a few more, but I'd be scared to post them, as they might get me banned!

He must have picked them up off the internet.

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Only just discovering this thread for the first time this afternoon! I’ve got a 3 and a half year old son and 15 month old daughter so it’s good to read everyone else’s experiences and advice. Hopefully I can pass on some of mine over time! 
 

P.S. if anyone on here has more than two kids then fair play to you, we used to want three or even four, until our second born arrived and hated sleep during the hours of darkness!

Edited by BullyWeeStonehouse
Hours of darkness, not house of darkness…
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4 minutes ago, BullyWeeStonehouse said:

Only just discovering this thread for the first time this afternoon! I’ve got a 3 and a half year old son and 15 month old daughter so it’s good to read everyone else’s experiences and advice. Hopefully I can pass on some of mine over time! 
 

P.S. if anyone on here has more than two kids then fair play to you, we used to want three or even four, until our second born arrived and hated sleep during the hours of darkness!

BullyWeeStonehouse    +2

Total children                 349

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