Things you want to share with P&B

[Hedgecutter]

Although not part of the original plan, I ended up at Formartine v Brora in the Highland League Cup earlier today, which was one of the crazier games I've been to:

Started off not being allowed in as the game was still in doubt, gates eventually opening after the ref gave the all clear. This was probably out of sheer pity seeing as Brora had come a long way and it had supposedly been postponed three times already. Without this, it would probably been postponed due to waterlogginng on what turned out to be an absolutely baltic day with some sleet thrown in.

As for the game, Brora scored first, Formartine equalised but then let in two horrific goals to give Brora a 3-1 HT lead, balls just sticking in the mud bath which was the penalty box. A notable highlight of the half was a Brora player breaking free along the wing, only to be tackled by the sodden touchline, sending him sliding headfirst along the pitch for 5-10m, white away strip now brown. League leaders two goals up, game over at this stage... I thought.

Second half (more sleet, less daylight): A transformed Formartine score 4 goals in less than 30 mins, the one which took the lead bring a 20-25yrd screamer across goal into the top corner, keeper full stretch for extra effect. 5-3.

Brora very quickly get a goal back, and from a corner near the death with everybody up, get the head on it to make it 5-5, both teams having now blown two goal leads.

However, in absolute delight, the Brora keeper somehow manages to cripple himself during his celebration. This would be problematic at the best of times, but more so after you've already made all three subs and are stuck with a crippled keeper who spends a few minutes hobbling back up to his goals.

Full time: 5-5, on to extra time... met with groans from most who just want to get indoors, not stand out in the freezing cold for another half an hour. Several people just give up and leave actually.

Anyway, extra time begins, with the Brora keeper still in goals, even if he can't walk and has to hop about in agony to get anywhere. He gets a single touch on the ball, this being a full dive parry for what should be a basic catch, all because he can no longer stand up. In the end, he has to sit down in his goalmouth, hands outstretched towards the away dugout for a few minutes, before his manager reluctantly gets him off the park and selects one of his out-fielders to do a 'Robbie Winters'.

Somehow, no goals are scored during extra time and it goes to penalties. However, after over 120 mins of football, any trace of a penalty spot (or penalty box in general) has long gone, and after several minutes, they come to the conclusion that it's unusable and they should use the opposite goal mouth. So they swap... only to quickly realise that the opposite penalty box is even worse, hence they return to the box which was no good before. How they spot the ball remains unknown to me.

Long story short, the outfielder-newly-turned-keeper saves Formartine's fourth pen attempt, becomes the hero of the day and 'ten man' Brora win 5-5 aet (5-4 on pens).

£8 well spent.

Edited March 6, 2016 by Hedgecutter

[Grim O'Grady]

Although not part of the original plan, I ended up at Formartine v Brora in the Highland League Cup earlier today, which was one of the crazier games I've been to:

Started off not being allowed in as the game was still in doubt, gates eventually opening after the ref gave the all clear. This was probably out of sheer pity seeing as Brora had come a long way and it had supposedly been postponed three times already. Without this, it would probably been postponed due to waterlogginng on what turned out to be an absolutely baltic day with some sleet thrown in.

As for the game, Brora scored first, Formartine equalised but then let in two horrific goals to give Brora a 3-1 HT lead, balls just sticking in the mud bath which was the penalty box. A notable highlight of the half was a Brora player breaking free along the wing, only to be tackled by the sodden touchline, sending him sliding headfirst along the pitch for 5-10m, white away strip now brown. League leaders two goals up, game over at this stage... I thought.

Second half (more sleet, less daylight): A transformed Formartine score 4 goals in less than 30 mins, the one which took the lead bring a 20-25yrd screamer across goal into the top corner, keeper full stretch for extra effect. 5-3.

Brora very quickly get a goal back, and from a corner near the death with everybody up, get the head on it to make it 5-5, both teams having now blown two goal leads.

However, in absolute delight, the Brora keeper somehow manages to cripple himself during his celebration. This would be problematic at the best of times, but more so after you've already made all three subs and are stuck with a crippled keeper who spends a few minutes hobbling back up to his goals.

Full time: 5-5, on to extra time... met with groans from most who just want to get indoors, not stand out in the freezing cold for another half an hour. Several people just give up and leave actually.

Anyway, extra time begins, with the Brora keeper still in goals, even if he can't walk and has to hop about in agony to get anywhere. He gets a single touch on the ball, this being a full dive parry for what should be a basic catch, all because he can no longer stand up. In the end, he has to sit down in his goalmouth, hands outstretched towards the away dugout for a few minutes, before his manager reluctantly gets him off the park and selects one of his out-fielders to do a 'Robbie Winters'.

Somehow, no goals are scored during extra time and it goes to penalties. However, after over 120 mins of football, any trace of a penalty spot (or penalty box in general) has long gone, and after several minutes, they come to the conclusion that it's unusable and they should use the opposite goal mouth. So they swap... only to quickly realise that the opposite penalty box is even worse, hence they return to the box which was no good before. How they spot the ball remains unknown to me.

Long story short, the outfielder-newly-turned-keeper saves Formartine's fourth pen attempt, becomes the hero of the day and 'ten man' Brora win 5-5 aet (5-4 on pens).

£8 well spent.

Excellent report Hedgy, I almost felt like I was there. If only I had gone outside in just my underpants to read it. It would have felt more realistic.

Grimbo

[Sergeant Wilson]

If only I had gone outside in just my underpants.

Grimbo

What have I told you about that?

[Grim O'Grady]

What have I told you about that?

^^^

Doughnut eating superior partner (not in a sexual way) of PC Cabe found.

Sorry Sarge, I thought weekends (during the darkened hours) it would be ok. Was it the tag that alerted you?

BE A LERT

Grimbo

[kerrdavidson95]

Bring back PC Cabe, that's what I say!

[philpy]

I have developed an unhealty obsession for aberdeen butteries. Bang goes the healthy eating.

[Hedgecutter]

I have developed an unhealty obsession for aberdeen butteries. Bang goes the healthy eating.

20 secs in the microwave followed by a good spread of raspberry jam.

#tastyasfcuk #beastbehaviour

[philpy]

20 secs in the microwave followed by a good spread of raspberry jam.

#tastyasfcuk #beastbehaviour

Out of jam. BRB.

[kerrdavidson95]

There's a bakery in Peterhead that does sweet butteries instead of salty ones. They're quite lovely.

[Hedgecutter]

Microwaving butteries?

Yeah, that's how the McCanns do it.

Slightly soggy with a lardy oil glaze oozing out, yeah.

The soft ones fine as they are though.

[philpy]

f**k off you pair, cant decide between jam and bacon now!!

[philpy]

Stayed at my mates house whilst watching the UFC with a few others. After some spicy pizza and dark ales, my sleeping bag is like a gas chamber.

[philpy]

So is wanking into a sock.

[Jacksgranda]

Watching "Rawhide" on TG4 - haven't seen it in years!

[Widge]

Lassie at the checkout today laughed harder than she should have at something I said. It was a little awkward and even though she was attractive, I was not in the mood for pleasantries having just paid £20 for a bottle of gin since I forgot to get my Mother a present.

Then again maybe she was just wanting a pumping which is entirely possible.

[Miguel Sanchez]

£20? Must have been some bottle of gin.

[Widge]

£20? Must have been some bottle of gin.

Some Tanquarry stuff. Then again I'm from the capital and that's what was in my pocket after last night. #pennies

[Honest_Man#1]

£20? Must have been some bottle of gin.

What? That's pretty cheap for gin out with the rancid Gordon's type shite.

[Widge]

What? That's pretty cheap for gin out with the rancid Gordon's type shite.

That's what I thought. There were bottles going for £50+. It's the new "trendy" thing though so it'll come down in price eventually.

[Deeboy]

Just watched Connor McGregor get his cùnt kicked in. Terrific.