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11 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said:

Im on holiday just now, just arrived in Tampa last night and the flight was delayed, my wee boy was upset and feeling a bit sick (hes 5) and we had to drive through to Orlando, essentially 3 hours later than planned. We were singing in the car to keep him in a decent mood and obviously as we got closer to Disney the songs kinda went along those lines. We had about a mile to go and saw all the road signs ‘disney next exit’ etc and a billboard for the ride ‘Seven Dwarfs Mine Train’ with the caption ‘Heigh Ho’. This in turn inspired me to sing the song ‘Heigh ho’ for the last few minutes of the journey, we pulled into the car park of the hotel, really decent wee hotel, the drury plaza, im getting the luggage out of the boot and the wee man out the car, still sub consciously whistling the song. I look up and theres a couple of people looking at me, theyre not chuffed, they appear to be people with dwarfism. The hotel it turns out is hosting ‘the little people of america’ convention this week and ive shown up inadvertently being offensive as f**k, im pretty much convinced im going to get jumped now and feel fucking terrible.  

Sounds like a lead up to a “would you rather fight 100 rat sized elephants or one elephant sized rat” question.

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A few years ago I was visiting a factory and passed a loading bay where a forklift driver was struggling to get stuff back onto a pallet that had slipped off the forks.

 

"Can I give you a hand?" says I,  just at the exact same moment I realised the reason he was struggling was he only had one arm.

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19 minutes ago, Newbornbairn said:

A few years ago I was visiting a factory and passed a loading bay where a forklift driver was struggling to get stuff back onto a pallet that had slipped off the forks.

 

"Can I give you a hand?" says I,  just at the exact same moment I realised the reason he was struggling was he only had one arm.

Was it the guy from Def Leppard?

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4 hours ago, GordonD said:

Had my third chemo session today. Feeling a bit knackered

Serious post.

Been there, done that.

I was down to seven stone and getting fed through tubes in my nose.

I'm now back to being a wee fatty again.

Please, please, don't ever give up (I nearly did) and keep yer chin up.

Fingers crossed for you.

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My wife's previous company just went past few days on a company retreat. 

We've only started new job this week.

They had Cascada coming to fucking perform for them last night on the beach. She's never heard of her and I'm wallowing in a puddle of jealousy and bodily fluids.

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11 hours ago, GordonD said:

Had my third chemo session today. Feeling a bit knackered and the hair loss continues but otherwise no real side effects. Going for a CT scan on Monday as we're at the halfway point in the treatment.

Gordon after three chemo sessions.jpg

Anybody want a Gollum-ogram? Act quickly...

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8 hours ago, Newbornbairn said:

A few years ago I was visiting a factory and passed a loading bay where a forklift driver was struggling to get stuff back onto a pallet that had slipped off the forks.

 

"Can I give you a hand?" says I,  just at the exact same moment I realised the reason he was struggling was he only had one arm.

I was in a band and one day we played a gig at a charity do, my drummer hadnt met the sound guy until we went on at soundcheck, he saw him bending down fixing something and said ‘want a hand mate?’ And saw the rest of our faces, he felt like i did now when the boy turned around and had one arm. 

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13 hours ago, GordonD said:

Had my third chemo session today. Feeling a bit knackered and the hair loss continues but otherwise no real side effects. Going for a CT scan on Monday as we're at the halfway point in the treatment.

Gordon after three chemo sessions.jpg

Keep going, you're halfway there!

Edited by Jacksgranda
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2 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

My wife's previous company just went past few days on a company retreat. 

We've only started new job this week.

They had Cascada coming to fucking perform for them last night on the beach. She's never heard of her and I'm wallowing in a puddle of jealousy and bodily fluids.

I can tell you're upset for a number of reasons.

What hurts the most?

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1 hour ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said:

Annnd to make matters worse i was taking a pic for context when someone attending the conference saw me take that, i dont think they believed me when i said it was for an obscure scottish football message board general nonsense section. 

IMG_2725.jpeg

Hope none of them were staying in rooms on floors too high for them to reach the lift buttons...

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54 minutes ago, TxRover said:

When the f**k did a genre called “Murder Ballads” wander into music? Never heard of the blooming thing and suddenly the (not so) wean is playing songs about killings in 1816 on Spotify.

This must be the first time that you didn't know the answer.

 

 

 

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