Ned Nederlander Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Mrs Ned just told me that if the torrential rain puts paid to tonights Falkirk/Hamilton game at least I'll be able to watch it on the telly 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted October 14, 2023 Share Posted October 14, 2023 Mrs: I want to make Pumpkin Spice mix, can you find me a recipe? Me: proceeds to find a spice mix recipe that contains 0% actual pumpkin Mrs: OK but how do I make powder from pumpkin? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 19, 2023 Share Posted November 19, 2023 (edited) In pub the other day. Mrs querying whether or not a portrait on the wall is of local football club mascot, Sammy the Tammy.. ”is that whatshisface from the football?” Edited November 19, 2023 by Shandon Par 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 19, 2023 Share Posted November 19, 2023 18 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: In pub the other day. Mrs querying whether or not a portrait on the wall is of local football club mascot, Sammy the Tammy.. ”is that whatshisface from the football?” Jim Leashman. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 Quote Loads of pictures on FB about seeing northern lights. There is a potential to see in Sydney too apparently. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crawford Bridge Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Many years ago I met a wonderful young lady up the toon (Edinburgh). On the walk back to my flat in Leith I said something about heading north. She said that we can't be going north because we're walking downhill. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 We had a power cut last week and she asked if the toilet would still flush. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 We were watching our son playing football in Lenzie against a team from Lenzie a few Saturdays ago. There was an older female stood near us shouting encouragement to the players in the opposition including shouts of "keep working hard Lenzie" when my son's team were 5 and 6-0 up. My other half asked me "is there a player called Lenzie playing for Lenzie". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 In the car the other day and went by Edinburgh Zoo. To which she asked 'is that actually Edinburgh Zoo?! I didn't realise we lived so close to it'. I of course said 'yeah it's just a couple of miles along the road from us really, did you think it was quite a bit out the city'? To which she replied 'I thought it was away in the Highlands to be honest, that's why I've always sort of put off taking the kids'. I must say, she's not originally from Edinburgh, but has now lived here for almost 2 years. Some buzz. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 3 Share Posted July 3 Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted July 3 Share Posted July 3 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. Maybe that's just the amount of times she's had sex since you met. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted July 3 Share Posted July 3 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 3 Share Posted July 3 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 7 minutes 40 seconds rest period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted July 3 Share Posted July 3 6 hours ago, velo army said: Maybe that's just the amount of times she's had sex since you met. 6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 5 hours ago, Swarley said: 7 minutes 40 seconds rest period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 You're all forgetting that Shandon's in a full body cast for at least three months out of every year. Bound to be a bit restrictive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted July 4 Share Posted July 4 On 12/05/2024 at 04:46, Sergeant Wilson said: We had a power cut last week and she asked if the toilet would still flush. If you were living in Japan that would be a perfectly reasonable question. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 (edited) Letter came the other day in my partners name advising she has a council tax bill to pay for £23. We moved recently so obviously some mix up there. Conversation went like this: OH: 'we'll need to get this paid quickly, it's says we'll get a summary warrant if we don't' Me: 'Aye well it's probably their cock up as we were on a direct debit and paid it. I won't lose sleep over it.' OH: 'Well I'm paying it before we go to Rome. Last thing I need is getting lifted at the airport or deported from Italy and ruining my holiday' SUMMARY WARRANT. Edited July 18 by Connor1874 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 Heading down to Haddington the other week, and passed a few large trucks which were obviously heading down for the Scottish open golf. The wife pipes up, "oh, they must be heading to troon" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 7 minutes ago, philpy said: Heading down to Haddington the other week, and passed a few large trucks which were obviously heading down for the Scottish open golf. The wife pipes up, "oh, they must be heading to troon" Sounds reasonable. What am I missing? Did she say it with a small 't' or something? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 41 minutes ago, The DA said: Sounds reasonable. What am I missing? Did she say it with a small 't' or something? The Scottish Open was in North Berwick 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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