hk blues Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said: And Jimmy Shand... Sir Jimmy Shand to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 6 hours ago, steelmen said: I was driving past there on Sunday and the wife started singing..... i hate my life. You should've taken that offer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 Not my babe, but the next door neighbour.... The postman had a brainfart today and put their mail through our letterbox. The dog is trained to pick up the post and bring it to us but, for whatever reason, this morning he just stood and looked at it. She (the neighbour) was out in the garden later on and I went to her at the fence, handed her the post and told her the story how the dog had refused to lift it - 'probably because he saw your name and address on it at no.25 on it but he knows our name and that we live at no.27'. 'No!! He didn't, did he?!??' Eventually you could see the penny dropping, swiftly followed by a 'f**k off!' 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted September 14, 2023 Share Posted September 14, 2023 On 13/09/2023 at 11:24, steelmen said: I was driving past there on Sunday and the wife started singing..... i hate my life. Who sings that? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 14, 2023 Share Posted September 14, 2023 3 hours ago, Connor1874 said: Who sings that? Theory of a deadman 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned Nederlander Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 Mrs Ned just told me that if the torrential rain puts paid to tonights Falkirk/Hamilton game at least I'll be able to watch it on the telly 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted October 14, 2023 Share Posted October 14, 2023 Mrs: I want to make Pumpkin Spice mix, can you find me a recipe? Me: proceeds to find a spice mix recipe that contains 0% actual pumpkin Mrs: OK but how do I make powder from pumpkin? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 19, 2023 Share Posted November 19, 2023 (edited) In pub the other day. Mrs querying whether or not a portrait on the wall is of local football club mascot, Sammy the Tammy.. ”is that whatshisface from the football?” Edited November 19, 2023 by Shandon Par 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 19, 2023 Share Posted November 19, 2023 18 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: In pub the other day. Mrs querying whether or not a portrait on the wall is of local football club mascot, Sammy the Tammy.. ”is that whatshisface from the football?” Jim Leashman. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 Quote Loads of pictures on FB about seeing northern lights. There is a potential to see in Sydney too apparently. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crawford Bridge Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 Many years ago I met a wonderful young lady up the toon (Edinburgh). On the walk back to my flat in Leith I said something about heading north. She said that we can't be going north because we're walking downhill. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 We had a power cut last week and she asked if the toilet would still flush. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted May 11 Share Posted May 11 We were watching our son playing football in Lenzie against a team from Lenzie a few Saturdays ago. There was an older female stood near us shouting encouragement to the players in the opposition including shouts of "keep working hard Lenzie" when my son's team were 5 and 6-0 up. My other half asked me "is there a player called Lenzie playing for Lenzie". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor1874 Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 In the car the other day and went by Edinburgh Zoo. To which she asked 'is that actually Edinburgh Zoo?! I didn't realise we lived so close to it'. I of course said 'yeah it's just a couple of miles along the road from us really, did you think it was quite a bit out the city'? To which she replied 'I thought it was away in the Highlands to be honest, that's why I've always sort of put off taking the kids'. I must say, she's not originally from Edinburgh, but has now lived here for almost 2 years. Some buzz. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted Wednesday at 16:19 Share Posted Wednesday at 16:19 Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted Wednesday at 16:21 Share Posted Wednesday at 16:21 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. Maybe that's just the amount of times she's had sex since you met. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted Wednesday at 16:34 Share Posted Wednesday at 16:34 13 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Mrs: “How many times do you think we’ve had sex? I bet it’s a million”. Me “I don’t think it’s as much as that” Her “Yes it is. Must be”. By my calculations that would average at about 120 times a day since we met. Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted Wednesday at 17:44 Share Posted Wednesday at 17:44 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 7 minutes 40 seconds rest period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted Wednesday at 23:13 Share Posted Wednesday at 23:13 6 hours ago, velo army said: Maybe that's just the amount of times she's had sex since you met. 6 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Once every 8 minutes. 8 minutes is good going tbf. 5 hours ago, Swarley said: 7 minutes 40 seconds rest period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted Thursday at 00:19 Share Posted Thursday at 00:19 You're all forgetting that Shandon's in a full body cast for at least three months out of every year. Bound to be a bit restrictive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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