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Out of the mouth of babes...


kiwififer

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On 12/05/2024 at 04:46, Sergeant Wilson said:

We had a power cut last week and she asked if the toilet would still flush.

If you were living in Japan that would be a perfectly reasonable question.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Letter came the other day in my partners name advising she has a council tax bill to pay for £23. We moved recently so obviously some mix up there. Conversation went like this:

OH: 'we'll need to get this paid quickly, it's says we'll get a summary warrant if we don't'

Me: 'Aye well it's probably their cock up as we were on a direct debit and paid it. I won't lose sleep over it.'

OH: 'Well I'm paying it before we go to Rome. Last thing I need is getting lifted at the airport or deported from Italy and ruining my holiday'

SUMMARY WARRANT.

Edited by Connor1874
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Heading down to Haddington the other week, and passed a few large trucks which were obviously heading down for the Scottish open golf. The wife pipes up, "oh, they must be heading to troon" 🫣

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7 minutes ago, philpy said:

Heading down to Haddington the other week, and passed a few large trucks which were obviously heading down for the Scottish open golf. The wife pipes up, "oh, they must be heading to troon" 🫣

Sounds reasonable. What am I missing? Did she say it with a small 't' or something?

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41 minutes ago, The DA said:

Sounds reasonable. What am I missing? Did she say it with a small 't' or something?

The Scottish Open was in North Berwick

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58 minutes ago, coprolite said:

This is just golf being dicks. “The Open that’s in Scotland isn’t the Scottish Open” is specialist knowledge for slacks enthusiasts. 

And I'm slow today. As soon as I looked at the original post again, I spotted the problem.

ETA: And I'm not a golfer - I like women.

Edited by The DA
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Gowfcunts.

Anyway, currently at work and as the bairn is away, the missus has taken on the mantle of painter of her bedroom.

"Ive just my hand to stir the paint, was that a mistake" she's just whatsapped.

Presumably her phones fucked as well now.

 

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4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Gowfcunts.

Anyway, currently at work and as the bairn is away, the missus has taken on the mantle of painter of her bedroom.

"Ive just my hand to stir the paint, was that a mistake" she's just whatsapped.

Presumably her phones fucked as well now.

 

Tell her just to use her hand to paint the walls now.

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22 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Gowfcunts.

Anyway, currently at work and as the bairn is away, the missus has taken on the mantle of painter of her bedroom.

"Ive just my hand to stir the paint, was that a mistake" she's just whatsapped.

Presumably her phones fucked as well now.

 

I hope you didn't get emulsional about it.

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We're looking to book a holiday soon.  She was looking on her phone and said "what was that other country I said to you?  Moldovia?"

She meant Montenegro. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

She's persuaded me to watch Suits on Netflix. Been enjoying it tbh.

She gave me a heads up that in season 2, Meghan Markle's characters father comes into the show. And her words were 'it's mad because the guy who plays him looks like her Dad in real life'.

Please see attached, comparison photos of the 2 men in question. Uncanny.

download.jpeg

6a2a885571285e8691ec2a2b928387b2.jpg

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58 minutes ago, Connor1874 said:

She's persuaded me to watch Suits on Netflix. Been enjoying it tbh.

She gave me a heads up that in season 2, Meghan Markle's characters father comes into the show. And her words were 'it's mad because the guy who plays him looks like her Dad in real life'.

Please see attached, comparison photos of the 2 men in question. Uncanny.

download.jpeg

6a2a885571285e8691ec2a2b928387b2.jpg

Kind of similar - I was teaching in Hong Kong and one of the students said his mother looked and sounded like Diana Ross.

He was Japanese - I assume she was as well.   To be fair, though, he had the look of George Michael about him so who knows?

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Something similar years and years ago with my Ex. International football on the TV, sure it was Germany v's Cameroon, or another very obviously black African nation, and she comes out with the classic "who's who?" line.

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On 18/07/2024 at 11:53, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Anyway, currently at work and as the bairn is away, the missus has taken on the mantle of painter of her bedroom.

"Ive just my hand to stir the paint, was that a mistake" she's just whatsapped.

Presumably her phones f**ked as well now.

 

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