Annoying things people write on Facebook

[forehead7]

Honestly, what the f**k.

This is where a twitter-style maximum characters would come in handy.

[vinnie-7]

I bet NO GUY has the guts to inbox a ME a nice paragraph about them that she'll never forget? or even better post a complimentary comment - Girls repost this as your status, I did, find out who the niceist guy is from your friends list ;-) ..... Thts if there is any!!

Deleted.

[Mushroom]

New one that has appeared

- we all want a new car, a new phone. A person who has cancer only wants one thing....to survive. I know that a lot of you "who think you're too cool" probably won't re-post this and only some of my friends will, but please put this on your wall in honor of someone who died of cancer, survived or who is fighting against it now♥

I normally seem to avoid all this crap on my wall, but theres been about 5 of these.

I feel like commenting "Give some money then you stupid bitch." but I probably won't.

Some twat I was at school with is now getting ridiculously involved with a campaign to "save" Abertay, she posted on the GUU's wall trying to drum up support. She's at Stirling uni. I think much like most of the people the occupied the Hetherington, she just wants something to protest about.

edit - she's an NUS type. Explain exerything.

Edited September 27, 2011 by Mushroom

[Rugster]

Hi, Mommy.

I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

... ...

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already. ... Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, repost it

DELETED!

[endieinreekie]

That is fucking tragic, never mind deleting her she needs a good kicking.

[TheScarf]

She needs her head fucking stamped on for that without exeption.

[Smurph]

Bullshit. It couldn't see out the womb.

[Guest]

The thing that annoys me about Facebook is that the number of friends I have keeps going down every week. I barely use the thing so doubt I've pissed anyone off, and yes I am that vein before anyone says.

[Gaz]

The thing that annoys me about Facebook is that the number of friends I have keeps going down every week. I barely use the thing so doubt I've pissed anyone off, and yes I am that vein before anyone says.

People are deleting you for posting chain updates

[Guest]

People are deleting you for posting chain updates.

[RTDEE2]

The thing that annoys me about Facebook is that the number of friends I have keeps going down every week. I barely use the thing so doubt I've pissed anyone off, and yes I am that vein before anyone says.

I've noticed this too. Sometimes it goes back up the next day, then back down.

[the jambo-rocker]

Bullshit. It couldn't see out the womb.

And that aborted babies go to hell...apparently

Edited September 27, 2011 by the jambo-rocker

[wunfellaff]

The thing that annoys me about Facebook is that the number of friends I have keeps going down every week. I barely use the thing so doubt I've pissed anyone off, and yes I am that vein before anyone says.

please add me.......so i can DELETE

[Clarko_son]

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, repost it

that part in particular may be the most tragic update i've ever read, was it per chance by one of those "my baby progress" users or someone with the ambitious career as "full time yummy mummy"?

[Benjamin_Nevis]

Place the elderly in prisons, they will get a shower every day, video surveillance in case of problems, three meals a day, access to a library, computer, TV, gym etc. . . Put criminals in nursing homes, they have cold meals, lights off at 20h, one bath a week, live in a smaller room and pay 4,000 a month !!!!! It's Pretty damn sad that we treat prisoners better than the elderly!!!! Copy and paste if you agree

One of my friends* posted this one, and it had a few predictable morons replying with "disgrace" etc etc.

I replied to it with "Does this mean they won't be in Tesco's at lunchtime?"

No response as yet.

* Not deleting her as she's sound in real life, and has terrific chebs.

[Adam]

Hi, Mommy.

I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

... ...

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already. ... Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, repost it

DELETED!

Jesus H fucking Torbett.

[ditots]

The thing that annoys me about Facebook is that the number of friends I have keeps going down every week. I barely use the thing so doubt I've pissed anyone off, and yes I am that vein before anyone says.

Thats nothing I only got 3 happy birthday whishes on my FB page and that includes 1 from my wife and 1 from my son. f**k them all I won't be back on it.

Edited September 27, 2011 by ditots

[Rugster]

that part in particular may be the most tragic update i've ever read, was it per chance by one of those "my baby progress" users or someone with the ambitious career as "full time yummy mummy"?

f**k knows, I already had her on ignore for pish, but saw this because one of my other friends commented on it so it showed up because of the new feed. Deleted forthwith. Daft bint.

[ffcsam]

Facebook will begin stealing your undergarments at midnight tonight if you don't copy & paste this message in the next 37 seconds, forward it to everyone in your mailing list, print a hard copy for your grandmother & call your third grade teacher. This is real. I got the message first hand from Elvis who was having lunch with Bigfoot, while riding the Loch Ness monster. It was even on the inside back cover of every tabloid in the grocery store checkout line. Not only will Facebook start charging you tomorrow, they are also going to bill your credit card for the past 3 years of services. Luckily, each person who copies & pastes this status will receive a FREE unicorn in the mail tomorrow. However, if you don't repost this status, Facebook code has been set up to automatically set your computer on fire & harm an innocent bunny in the forest! It's all true, it was on the news! It's official! Facebook users will believe anything their friends copy & paste into their status (Don't forget the hearts. All good copy and pastes gotta have hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

6 people like this

And Delete

[city_gord]

Facebook will begin stealing your undergarments at midnight tonight if you don't copy & paste this message in the next 37 seconds, forward it to everyone in your mailing list, print a hard copy for your grandmother & call your third grade teacher. This is real. I got the message first hand from Elvis who was having lunch with Bigfoot, while riding the Loch Ness monster. It was even on the inside back cover of every tabloid in the grocery store checkout line. Not only will Facebook start charging you tomorrow, they are also going to bill your credit card for the past 3 years of services. Luckily, each person who copies & pastes this status will receive a FREE unicorn in the mail tomorrow. However, if you don't repost this status, Facebook code has been set up to automatically set your computer on fire & harm an innocent bunny in the forest! It's all true, it was on the news! It's official! Facebook users will believe anything their friends copy & paste into their status (Don't forget the hearts. All good copy and pastes gotta have hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

6 people like this

And Delete

I have seen a few of these. The people posting them are also the twats who copy and pasted the ones about facebook charging aswell. Idiots.

On September 31st 2013 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all while singing "I Will Survive". Then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be true because someone on Facebook I hardly know told me. X

~Facebook JUST Released their NEW MEMBERSHIP CHARGES===> ~£9.99 for IDIOTS, £6.99 CROSS-EYED PEOPLE, £3.99 for special dribbly people, but it's free if you post a pic of yourself with a homemade foil hat on, goggles and most importantly swimming armbands (DO NOT FORGET THE ARMBANDS) by midnight tonight. When you sign in tomorrow, you will be prompted for your star sign. It is official, it was confirmed by my friend's, wife's, brother's cousin, who heard it from his nurse in the special hospital -also confirmed by the voices that speak to him personally! These charges are all due to the new changes. If you post your pic, your icon will turn blue, and FB will be free for you, AND as a bonus you will also get a SPECIAL jacket to hug yourself (choice of colours available). Please pass this message on, if not your account will never be the same again once the ALIENS have tampered with it! It's gotta be true. I read it on Facebook!! =P lol

Both people deleted

And someone likes this page...

Dnt u find it Funny tht aftr Monday(M) & Tue(T), d rest of the wek sys WTF?

That was my favourite delete so far. Everything about that page and person was just so shit.