The Troll Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Random lassie i don't know, who im guessing i added a year or so ago when i just randomly accepted anyone just posted this..... Well thats me done. Sick of life. All it does is let me down. f**k me over and never leaves me be. If i had the choice. I wouldn't want to live. Every time i check my Facebook there's also a post about her family kicking her out. The fact this has been going on for well over a year annoys me, but i cant be arsed going about deleting folk 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherrif John Bunnell Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 May I ask a personal favor.... only some of you will do it and I know who you are. If you know someone who fought cancer and died, or someone who is still fighting, please add this to your status for 1 hour as a mark of respect and remembrance. I hope I was right about the people who will do this..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 oh dear top story = cornflakes and a sister is best Aye, but did she get the dress? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraser_smfc Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Message from a friend - it goes as follows please take heed: While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Police and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check.... "There are several things to be aware of ... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women)to stop their vehicle and get out of the car. "There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby. "Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too. DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-9-9 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. "IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSCREEN, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVOURY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT." Please talk to your loved ones about this. This is a new tactic used. Please be safe. Get started NOW -- SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO BE CAREFUL xXx Fucking hell... I was about to post this as well. I was so tempted to comment, "Why didn't I think of that?". All I'd get would be hassle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 (edited) Aye, but did she get the dress? dress in question is a wedding dress for her wedding to her guy of 15 months. maybe the longest relationship of my engaged friends, two months is shortest... Edited September 22, 2011 by weirdcal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 THIS appeared at the top of my newsfeed this morning: Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, And she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, If she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, She tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school Eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees A dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, For everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats One by one the teacher called A student from the class. To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, A man who wasn't there. 'Where's her daddy at?' She heard a boy call out. 'She probably doesn't have one,' Another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say, 'Looks like another deadbeat dad, Too busy to waste his day.' The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, Who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique. 'My Daddy couldn't be here, Because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories He taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, And taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, And ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's al ways with me, Even though we are apart I know because he told me, He'll forever be in my heart' With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, Her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love Of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, Doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, Staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud. 'I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, But heaven's just too far. You see he is a Brittish soldier And died just this past year When a roadside bomb hit his convoy And taught Britians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away.' And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, She witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side. 'I know you're with me Daddy,' To the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, Was a fragrant long-stemmed rose. And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, By the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, That heaven is never too far. Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I'm contemplating reactivating my Facebook account so I can see some of the cringe material that is posted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I'm contemplating reactivating my Facebook account so I can see some of the cringe material that is posted. If you want your news feed filled with shite like my post above, or various "brother" "sister" Etc etc weeks then carry on. Be sure to add a few old firm fans for comedy OF day meltdowns and a bunny boiler or two. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Message from a friend - it goes as follows please take heed: While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Police and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check.... "There are several things to be aware of ... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women)to stop their vehicle and get out of the car. "There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby. "Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too. DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-9-9 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. "IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSCREEN, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVOURY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT." Please talk to your loved ones about this. This is a new tactic used. Please be safe. Get started NOW -- SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO BE CAREFUL xXx Fucking hell... That just appeared on my feed as well. From a semi-pro footballer I know. I know for a fact he is going to get ripped to shreds for this. And it will be fully merited. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshmallo Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Brittish Britians -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Message from a friend - it goes as follows please take heed: While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Police and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check.... "There are several things to be aware of ... gangs and thieves are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women)to stop their vehicle and get out of the car. "There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby. "Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too. DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-9-9 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN. "IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSCREEN, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVOURY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT." Please talk to your loved ones about this. This is a new tactic used. Please be safe. Get started NOW -- SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO BE CAREFUL xXx Fucking hell... It's like Red Dead Redemption apart from with cars rather than wagons. Thankfully I've played the game and know how to deal with these people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roverthemoon Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Just had this absolute garbage posted as a status by my cousin. I apologise in advance if anyone actually reads this drivel in the hope that it is even mildly amusing. It isn't. Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! ______________________________ _____________________________________ Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. A fter all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born carl. I hope that wont be a problem 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I'd remove him as a cousin after posting that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
city_gord Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 This rant has appeared on my news feed at least four times recently from oil rig workers... The Urine test (This was written by an oil rig worker in the North Sea - What he says makes a lot of sense!) I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem. ... What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to EARN IT for them? Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope. Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque? Please pass this along if you agree or simply delete it if you don't. Hope you will pass it along though, because something has to change in the UK 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Aye, but did she get the dress? dress in question is a wedding dress for her wedding to her guy of 15 months. maybe the longest relationship of my engaged friends, two months is shortest... I was unfortunate enough to bump into her today, and to clear this up because i know you're both dying to know.. its not for her wedding but for her 27th on Friday where she's going to the Amber Rose to get steaming on £5 bottles of wine. I also rattled her before she met her boyfriend, and she was like a sack of tatties. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I also rattled her before she met her boyfriend, and she was like a sack of tatties. Knew it ha ha, I knew I wasn't that shitfaced that night and noticed you two sneaking off 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 Knew it ha ha, I knew I wasn't that shitfaced that night and noticed you two sneaking off Any holes a goal on a work night out. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 don't appreciate strangers telling me "cheer up-it might never happen!"which happened twice this morning!" She followed that up seconds later with also not happy that Corrie's having a heart attack storyline-next week it will be the anniversary of my heart attack..What a ray of runshine she is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NathanQP Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 (edited) She followed that up seconds later with also not happy that Corrie's having a heart attack storyline-next week it will be the anniversary of my heart attack. What a ray of runshine she is. how dare corrie forget about her heart attack Edited September 24, 2011 by NathanQP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ffcsam Posted September 24, 2011 Share Posted September 24, 2011 Person added last week, person deleted as of now for this brammer IT IS OFFICIAL. IT WAS EVEN ON THE NEWS. FACEBOOK WILL START CHARGING DUE TO THE NEW PROFILE CHANGES. IF YOU COPY THIS ON YOUR WALL YOUR ICON WILL TURN BLUE AND FACEBOOK WILL BE FREE FOR YOU. PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON, IF NOT YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE DELETED IF YOU DO NOT PAY 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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