RandomGuy. Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 But wait. This doesn't feel right. We've got a vague sense that something is missing. Luckily John steps up to the plate with a cracking bit of casual racism John Ferguson Fuckin immigrant fuckers,if a come across them god help thum m8.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 This probably sounds awful, but there is a disabled girl on my course. She can't talk or go anywhere without a wheelchair and the help of a carer. But she still insists on posting statuses like 'I'm a slut. So what? Stop slut-shaming!' and 'I'm literally jumping off the walls right now'. No. No, you're not. I d just post 'yeah, literally' and leave it at that 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned Nederlander Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) It is indeed. As soon as you cross the Taymar all the red rose logos on the brown tourist road signs have been painted over with the cross of Saint Piran They even have their own brand of freedom fighters called An Gof !! The village we lived in had a bunch of them who regularly held meetings and tried to raise awareness ... we ripped the pish out of them mercilessly Edited September 8, 2013 by Ned Nederlander 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) I've no idea how John Ferguson ended up on my newsfeed. But at least his burd hasn't put her fake tan with a trowel. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=589248071137628&set=a.103226353073138.4794.100001573211223&type=1&theater Oh wait. She has. If anyone knows Karen Stewart, please tell her she's a liar. Edited September 8, 2013 by Cardinal Richelieu 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloop John B Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) "I want to meet this person and shake their hand maybe buy them a pint" ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. Dear Sirs,I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.Do you guys do this by hand?My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!!I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!!What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there?Look at my damn picture.Do I look like Bin Laden?I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere.And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell!Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30.Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense.You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons)Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!SignedAn Irate CitizenP.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me?Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ...I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world.However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor ..WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN! Personally I'd like to deport this arsehole. Edited September 8, 2013 by Sloop John B 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YassinMoutaouakil Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 Why would a citizen of Irate be complaining to the UK passport office? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 I like how he steadily grows more racist as it goes on 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 I've no idea how John Ferguson ended up on my newsfeed. But at least his burd hasn't put her fake tan with a trowel. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=589248071137628&set=a.103226353073138.4794.100001573211223&type=1&theater Oh wait. She has. If anyone knows Karen Stewart, please tell her she's a liar. She looks like Steve Buscemi. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 "I want to meet this person and shake their hand maybe buy them a pint" ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. Do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!! I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off! Signed An Irate Citizen P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN! Personally I'd like to deport this arsehole. If such a letter was ever sent, not only would no passport be forthcoming anytime soon, but he'd probably be getting a visit from the local police. I too would like to meet him, but only to tell him what a massive c**t he is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboshandy Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 "I want to meet this person and shake their hand maybe buy them a pint" ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER: Blah Blah Would have been quicker just filling out the passport form. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The OP Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 (edited) "I want to meet this person and shake their hand maybe buy them a pint" ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER:This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. Do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!! I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fuckin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off! Signed An Irate Citizen P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN! Personally I'd like to deport this arsehole. Bit of a coincidence that their family has been in Britain since the exact year that the USA declared independence. Probably American spies working deep, deep cover. Should hang them just to be sure. Either that, or get his Doctor from the Friggin' region of Pakistan to administer a lethal injection. Edited September 8, 2013 by The OP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 Bit of a coincidence that their family has been in Britain since the exact year that the USA declared independence. Probably American spies working deep, deep cover. Should hang them just to be sure. Either that, or get his Doctor from the Friggin' region of Pakistan to administer a lethal injection. According to google an Irate US citizen had a strikingly similar experience with the State Department although his doctor was Indian and before that a Canadian had similar issues. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherrif John Bunnell Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 That passport letter is almost the full house of Facebook retard bingo. All it's missing is something about paedos and a Marilyn Monroe quote. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 According to google an Irate US citizen had a strikingly similar experience with the State Department although his doctor was Indian and before that a Canadian had similar issues. At least now we know it's a worldwide problem. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The OP Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 I don't see why an Irate citizen thinks he should get special treatment anyway. British citizens should be at the front of the queue. If he doesn't like it he can f**k off back to Irate. Obviously he'll need to get a passport first though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMMjag Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Ask.fm is doing my tits in. I've got about five people on my facebook spamming my newsfeed with it. I don't give a f**k what you were dreaming about last night, or what your favourite chocolate is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peeeel Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 (edited) WTF??? :/ I wouldn't expect you to get the complexities of the joke, you find throwing shite at people funny. Fucking Neanderthal. Edited September 9, 2013 by peeeel 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeeperDee Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 I wouldn't except you to get the complexities of the joke, you find throwing shite at people funny. Fucking Neanderthal. Peeeel, come on now. EXPECT*. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peeeel Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Peeeel, come on now. EXPECT*. Fixed it just for you buddy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeeperDee Posted September 9, 2013 Share Posted September 9, 2013 Fixed it just for you buddy Ken best. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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