Swarley Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 #escalatorsforobesity 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Help to donate money for weapons for Iraq. #wanksfortanks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Snort cocaine in support of the Better Together campaign. #blowforno 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Eat as much ice cream as you can for ugly folk with gammy legs. #raspberryripplesforunfortunatecripples Bravo sir, bravo. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Unfortunately he has now deleted his profile due to the embarrassment, but last night a guy posted a status about the ice bucket stuff, with a perfectly civil conversation ensuing in the comments involving many of his mates and also his dad. Now like most parents on facebook, he should really be nowhere fucking near it as evidenced when, not having grasped the distinction between public comments on someone's wall and private message, he publicly asked his son how old one of his female mates was. The female replied herself, followed by an absolutely cringeworthy discussion as the dad tried to chat her up for everyone to see. Realising the error of his ways as the hordes descended to mercilessly rip the pish, there was then an attempt to backtrack which made things a million times worse: he claimed he was actually trying to chat her up on his son's behalf. After even more hilarity in response to that, the son deleted his facebook profile and has probably died through embarrassment by now. I should point out that everyone involved is an adult so it's not Yewtree material or anything but fucks sake, it may have been the most cringeworthy thing I've read in my life. This is why no one should ever be friends with their parents on facebook. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunning1874 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 He has now reactivated his account and appears to be laughing along with the rest of us. Whether this is because he's murdered his father remains to be seen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer Jag Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 It's possible to donate to charity without being an attention seeking moron, or so I'm told. Charity is a pain in the arse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Just waiting for someone to post the funniest joke from this year's Fringe, passing it off as their own. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Nomad Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 It's possible to donate to charity without being an attention seeking moron, or so I'm told. Charity is a pain in the arse. The worst charity types are those who dress up a holiday as making money for charity, e.g. trekking to Machu Pichu or Everest base camp. These c***s should be strung up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Just waiting for someone to post the funniest joke from this year's Fringe, passing it off as their own. While I wait this to happen, the arseholes from both sides who have long since emigrated to sunnier climes - telling me how to vote in the referendum. As if the lack of sunshine and warmth addles my brain, leaving me unable to make rational decisions for themselves. Also, the wallopers who rail against Facebook, because they accidentally clicked on a horrible video with some dog getting tortured that someone had posted. That's like sitting in a pub with your mate, then blaming the pub whenever one of your friends pulls out racist banter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I'm going to hazard a guess at it being the one about a hoover, as I've seen it twice, word-for-word by two unrelated people already. Bingo. Tis actually a good joke, but just coming out with it without crediting its source seems a bit lame! -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I'm going to hazard a guess at it being the one about a hoover, as I've seen it twice, word-for-word by two unrelated people already. It is. Don't think I'll bother my arse ever going to the festival if they're judging that to be the best joke. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itzdrk Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Modem? MODEM??? Is it a 56K modem that you plug into your curly phone line whilst typing documents in Wordperfect? People say "Router" these days... Anyway, I just wanted to moan about these bloody "100 Happy Days" and "5 good things today" posts that the young mummies on my timeline seem to enjoy sharing. They really should be called "I'm crying on the inside. Here's some stuff I did today that prevented me from taking my own life". I enjoyed your work so i shared it. Funnily enough mostly mummies enjoying your comments 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The OP Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) It's weird - a mutual friend posted a picture of himself with Billy Connolly a couple of weeks ago and said the Big Yin managed to force a polite laugh at the hoover joke - and that's the best joke at this year's Fringe? If Billy Connolly doesn't burst out laughing and say 'Brilliant' you know your joke is jobbies. Plus it can't even be original if some random c**t was using it a few weeks ago. Edited August 19, 2014 by The OP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 He has now reactivated his account and appears to be laughing along with the rest of us. Whether this is because he's murdered his father remains to be seen. I wonder if his dad got his hole 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 While I wait this to happen, the arseholes from both sides who have long since emigrated to sunnier climes - telling me how to vote in the referendum. As if the lack of sunshine and warmth addles my brain, leaving me unable to make rational decisions for themselves. Also, the wallopers who rail against Facebook, because they accidentally clicked on a horrible video with some dog getting tortured that someone had posted. That's like sitting in a pub with your mate, then blaming the pub whenever one of your friends pulls out racist banter. "If I was still at home I'd vote no because the UK is brilliant!". Posted from Oz, NZ, US or Timbuk-fking-tu. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 "One of my clients told me I'm better off being single because I'm far to pretty and interesting for any man!!! Lol wee gem." This just in: naw ye urnae. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 "One of my clients told me I'm better off being single because I'm far to pretty and interesting for any man!!! Lol wee gem." This just in: naw ye urnae. Clients? Are you Facebook friends with a hooker? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 (edited) This lassie I know is a hairdresser who calls her customers 'clients'. Fucking wind up, they're customers hen. Edit - The guy RATM mentions is at friendzone level 100 IMO. Edited August 20, 2014 by TheScarf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 "One of my clients told me I'm better off being single because I'm far to pretty and interesting for any man!!! Lol wee gem." This just in: naw ye urnae. pics so pnb can judge this decision 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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