Zanetti Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 10.45pm and my upstairs neighbour is currently blasting heavy metal so loud I can actually feel the vibrations. This same guy is partial to re-arranging his furniture most mornings between the hours of 7am and 9am, which results in all sorts of loud screeching and shuffling noises. Total walloper. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 These are all the reasons im trying my damndest to find a detached house to buy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 You let someone off with shouting at you for painting YOUR fence? Are you the human equivalent of Walter the Softy from Dennis the Menace? Painted the top of the shared fence, which was already one colour, the same colour. I shouted back but only after losing the plot as they couldn't win their arguement and started just making things up and lying. Had to walk away as two years worth of annoyance and rage just built up and actually thought about pouring the paint on their heads. Don't think the police would take my side as it seems everything is built up nowadays to pander towards arseholes who cheat the system rather than go out and try to earn an honest living. As mentioned it's not cool to attack disabled people, even when they are complete c-units. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunfellaff Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 My first flat was this bogging wee number in Dalry. My favourite neighbours were the fucking bum balloons above us, who's bedroom was right above ours. Usually you'll know your neighbours are shagging because you'll hear some kind of rhythmic noise and go "that'll be the bed getting knocked about because their riding" - not the case with these dafties. The Betty was one of they "noisey customers". But not an "ooo" or "ahhh that's the spot" kind of noisey. For the entire duration of her getting her bacon vault filled in by her man friend, at the top of her voice, she'd make this noise which was identical to the noise Dr Zoidberg makes in Futurama when he skuttles away. A sort of "WOOOOOP-WOOOOO-WOOOOP" noise. That. Every night. For about an hour. I really should have evened the score up by blowing into a kazoo the whole time I was getting my hole but sadly I didn't think of that at the time. :lol: how did I miss this before? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breaking Decency Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 It's threads like this that bring out the kind side of P&B posters 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audioslave Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I don't know if there will ever be another thread where I can discuss my old neighbour, so I'm punting his antics in here. He wasn't evil, he was just fucking mental. His name was Kamal. A Lebonese national who'd basically rammed so much cocaine up his beak before getting militant with th Muslim faith, his brain had been fried to the size of a fucking squirrels arsehole. Here's some personal Kamal favourites; Appearing at my window (it was a ground floor flat) at about 4am in the morning, just after I'd got rid of everyone after a party to offer me a digital copy of the Quran, which he had on a wee USB stick. One evening when I was having a party, he appeared out his window whilst I was on the phone on the street and started throwing wee banana's at me. Not violently but just because he thought I might be hungry. For wee bananas... Stopping me at my door to tell me that the Jews invented the myth of dinosaurs and that they controlled the world - he'd obviously watched Jursassic Park whilst out his box and got the wrong end of things. Going out on his bike, at night, wearing sun glasses. Asking me to see if a radiator in his flat was leaking and putting a cushion over a sword to hide it. And I don't mean a wee sword. I mean a "chop off several heads in a oner" sized sword. Offering to wash my windows, with a broom. No water, just a broom. He was a great lad. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS-18 ICBM Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 It's threads like this that bring out the kind side of P&B posters Superb thread, i've been thoroughly enjoying reading it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Patterson Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Surely surreptitiously spraypainting something along the lines of "PAEDO SCUM" or "BEAST" on their door should get them telt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Painted the top of the shared fence, which was already one colour, the same colour. I shouted back but only after losing the plot as they couldn't win their arguement and started just making things up and lying. Had to walk away as two years worth of annoyance and rage just built up and actually thought about pouring the paint on their heads. Don't think the police would take my side as it seems everything is built up nowadays to pander towards arseholes who cheat the system rather than go out and try to earn an honest living. As mentioned it's not cool to attack disabled people, even when they are complete c-units. Oh aye, apologies, I forgot they were disabled, but don't let that cloud your judgement in your plans for retribution....an arsehole is an arsehole, disabled or not. If they're wheelchair bound you could do the human equivalent of cow tipping by flipping their chairs back onto their handles and stand back laughing as their legs flail about helplessly in the air. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 (edited) Slash their tyres, or poke sticks through the spokes. Or even cut the brakes. Edited October 30, 2012 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Oh aye, apologies, I forgot they were disabled, but don't let that cloud your judgement in your plans for retribution....an arsehole is an arsehole, disabled or not. If they're wheelchair bound you could do the human equivalent of cow tipping by flipping their chairs back onto their handles and stand back laughing as their legs flail about helplessly in the air. Spot on. Disabled people who use their disabilities to act like arseholes get no sympathy from me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I had a neighbour who was a smackhead when i stayed in Bonnybridge a few years back and someone came to my door looking for him,Needless to say a few words we exchanged and he was sent on his way.Next day i saw the smackhead and told him that if the guy ever came to my door again i would hold him responsible,He said don't worry he won't as he killed himself last night -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wunfellaff Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Used to stay just off Easter Road in Edinburgh about 10 years ago and had one guy who would have banging parties starting at 2am. Used to see him in Tamsons and 4 in hand etc and he just gave me invites up Never saw him for about 2 months then he was in for a pint afore a Hibs game, lifted his shirt when I asked him where he had been (ooo eeeer ) and there was half a dozen puncture marks down his ribcage. The boy that did it stayed across the road and the victim plus a team steamed in 2 weeks later. Proper door off hinges job. Wrong flat I have no doubt that this would have not ended up in a cremation, legal or not. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanetti Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Bawbag upstairs was still going well past midnight tonight (pretty sure at one point he was playing the drums) until I decided to batter the ceiling with a brush until he shut up. A few seconds later, I got a few taps back, and it went silent. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted November 3, 2012 Author Share Posted November 3, 2012 Pish week this week been kept up to 3AM most nights. Fuckers must've been eating a whole packet of weetabix each as they flushed the bog about twenty times at half two. Either that or getting me back for some terrible crime like sneezing when I got up last week. fookin nutters 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidthebaw Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) Painted the top of the shared fence, which was already one colour, the same colour. I shouted back but only after losing the plot as they couldn't win their arguement and started just making things up and lying. Had to walk away as two years worth of annoyance and rage just built up and actually thought about pouring the paint on their heads. Don't think the police would take my side as it seems everything is built up nowadays to pander towards arseholes who cheat the system rather than go out and try to earn an honest living. As mentioned it's not cool to attack disabled people, even when they are complete c-units. Mate I'm disabled but even if I wasn't I'd attack them. There not disabled the cunto can lay slabs. Keep a diary and also grass the mental bawbags to the DWP Edited November 3, 2012 by Heidthebaw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Pish week this week been kept up to 3AM most nights. Fuckers must've been eating a whole packet of weetabix each as they flushed the bog about twenty times at half two. Either that or getting me back for some terrible crime like sneezing when I got up last week. fookin nutters Why not just smash f**k out of their front door with a hammer, or cause some other serious damage to their property when they aren't about? Get a mate to give you a caste (cheers Supras) iron alabi and you're sorted. They will know it was you, but have no proof. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Pish week this week been kept up to 3AM most nights. Fuckers must've been eating a whole packet of weetabix each as they flushed the bog about twenty times at half two. Either that or getting me back for some terrible crime like sneezing when I got up last week. fookin nutters Why not just smash f**k out of their front door with a hammer, or cause some other serious damage to their property when they aren't about? Get a mate to give you a caste (cheers Supras) iron alabi and you're sorted. They will know it was you, but have no proof. Or get this lot round to sort them out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 3, 2012 Share Posted November 3, 2012 Or get this lot round to sort them out. If you have a problem..... If no one else can help....and if you can find them.....maybe you can hire....The Pished Team.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted December 3, 2012 Author Share Posted December 3, 2012 Last week or so it's all gone quiet and I thought they were away. The house was in total darkness all day and night 'till after I came in from the footy and that was at half nine. Heard them up and about after twelve. Not sure if timmy #2 has been bumped as I think she's on her own. Very very odd behaviour, hoping that their meter has been cut off and they get to Falkirk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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