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The Alan Partridge Thread


Swampy

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You're 22 years old and spending the afternoon in bed with a girl, you're wasting your life!

Call her a fat cow and hang up....

Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine!

The part where Michael's talking about a monkey

" Ah hoyed it into the sea......it ate me fags!"

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Bought Alan's autobiography yesterday 'I ,Partridge. We need to talk about Alan'.

It's utterly fantastic.

It really is. Proper laugh out loud. I went back and watched the Open Books episode that was on Sky Atlantic a while back and it made much more sense.

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“If you want to vote for a food -related hero, may I suggest Turkey baron Bernard Matthews.

“It’s great to be around him. Depending on your point of view, he is either responsible for the biggest ornithological genocide of recent times or he is the greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last 100 years.”

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Bought Alan's autobiography yesterday 'I ,Partridge. We need to talk about Alan'.

It's utterly fantastic.

I'm almost certain I posted this earlier, but it's the only quote from the book that is sticking out in my memory at the minute. Which is a damn shame because the books were fantastic. I think its because I've only heard them on audiobooks in a friends car on the way to football sometimes, my memory of things I've heard must be worse than of things I've read. Or my memory is just shit, either or.

Anyway;

"He combined a warm, friendly disposition with a genuine mental illness". In Partridge's voice on the audiobook it's just comedy gold.

Brb, off to look up quotes from the book online and see if there's any that I found particularly amusing.

Edit: a wise decision. "“Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS.” - i think thats around the bit where he describes the filmy crystallized substance you get when you get sugar on a wet spoon. That made me giggle.

"“If I was feeling like a challenge, I'd kick out the plug, turn the taps on and see if I could maintain the exact water level. It was a bit like balancing the clutch in an old Mini Metro. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. Satisfying? Just bit.”

Edited by Thistle_do_nicely
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I AM YOUR PATROL LEADER! I AM YOUR PATROL LEADER! I AM YOUR PATROL LEADER!

There was literally Kenco coming out of my nostrils whilst reading that part of the book. Superb stuff from Alan.

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