Depression

[welshbairn]

7 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

Can see this bi polar splitting my mum n dad up.
Dad not coping. Mum thinks she is coping but she really isn't. We have a team that comes out m sees her. Thought she was doing well and then all of a sudden it's the worst she has ever been.
Last night she wanted me to book her tickets for some singer/composer Giorgio Moroder.
320 pound it cost for 2 tickets for her n my dad. Thought fair enough will try my best n see if I can get them. Then to find out it's a gift from me for her 65th birthday in January.
I don't have this actual money ( I do I dipped into my savings) however wasn't about the money for me, it was her demand and how she needed to go see this person sing because she got an album bought by an ex lad ( 40 odd years ago ).
She then texts me today saying " oh sorry about last night think I had a panic attack ".

Then this afternoon got 6 missed calls from mum ( was working ) so straight away I'm thinking this can't be good, to be told your dad has left me. I phoned my dad to find that he has just taken the dog for a walk.

Ahhh.
 

Is she taking her medication, assuming she's been prescribed some? I had a friend who hated taking his medicine because he felt like a dulled down zombie, but turned into a total twat and got into loads of trouble when he didn't. He was convinced he didn't need it until the next time he ended up in hospital or a police cell.

[supermik]

8 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

Can see this bi polar splitting my mum n dad up.
Dad not coping. Mum thinks she is coping but she really isn't. We have a team that comes out m sees her. Thought she was doing well and then all of a sudden it's the worst she has ever been.
Last night she wanted me to book her tickets for some singer/composer Giorgio Moroder.
320 pound it cost for 2 tickets for her n my dad. Thought fair enough will try my best n see if I can get them. Then to find out it's a gift from me for her 65th birthday in January.
I don't have this actual money ( I do I dipped into my savings) however wasn't about the money for me, it was her demand and how she needed to go see this person sing because she got an album bought by an ex lad ( 40 odd years ago ).
She then texts me today saying " oh sorry about last night think I had a panic attack ".

Then this afternoon got 6 missed calls from mum ( was working ) so straight away I'm thinking this can't be good, to be told your dad has left me. I phoned my dad to find that he has just taken the dog for a walk.

Ahhh.
 

Has all her medications been sorted out yet? When my wife was struggling at first for a while, the docs spoke about the possibility of sectioning her for a short time for her own safety until her treatment was right for her. Never came to that outcome as I just battled through it with her.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 minute ago, G_Man1985 said:

Yup medication was upped again. She sees the psychiatrist again Friday so it's a matter of keeping her updated.
We have spoken about sectioning but they said no she didn't need it. My dad at time felt she didn't need it.
Yet mum seems to think she is fine.
Very frustrating. Emotions are all over the place. I'm actually enjoying going to work ( this time of year is brutal at work usually ) .

Easiest way for me to deal with anything is just chatting n keeping myself busy. I just want answers that I don't have

Sectioning is a last resort these days mostly because of the lack of space. You don’t want her going into Carseview if possible.  Not easy to see though.

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, G_Man1985 said:

Yup medication was upped again. She sees the psychiatrist again Friday so it's a matter of keeping her updated.
We have spoken about sectioning but they said no she didn't need it. My dad at time felt she didn't need it.
Yet mum seems to think she is fine.
Very frustrating. Emotions are all over the place. I'm actually enjoying going to work ( this time of year is brutal at work usually ) .

Easiest way for me to deal with anything is just chatting n keeping myself busy. I just want answers that I don't have

Is your Dad confident she's taking her medication? 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

23 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

She has been in carseview before. All be it was after I was born.
Crisis team we said no to as we want the same people around her .

Medication she seems to be taking. Dad says so anyway

Fingers crossed m8. It’s a shite illness.

[bobbykdy]

12 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

That's mum been admitted to carseview.

No clue how to feel. Numb
 

Just try to think of it as she is now going to get the help she needs. It may also stop your dad from reaching breaking point if he is able to get a bit of time out. All the best.

[Dons_1988]

17 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

That's mum been admitted to carseview.

No clue how to feel. Numb
 

As mentioned above just see it as the first step towards a better future.

Better to tackle these things head on than just let it go on indefinitely making everyone miserable.

Shite situation for you though, hope she comes out of it much better.

[Adam]

Sorry to hear that G Man.  I really hope things work out for you all.

[NJ2]

That's mum been admitted to carseview.

No clue how to feel. Numb

Sorry G, can’t be easy to get the head round. She’ll get the help she needs and it’ll give your old man a little respite as well...as well as you. Might not feel like it right now, but it will.

[heedthebaa]

1 hour ago, G_Man1985 said:

That's mum been admitted to carseview.

No clue how to feel. Numb
 

You and your dad keep your heads up, as said, a step back, but to get her put right again, all the best

[Melanius Mullarkey]

6 hours ago, G_Man1985 said:

That's mum been admitted to carseview.

No clue how to feel. Numb
 

If nothing else it’s respite for her.

And you and your dad. 

[Brother Blades]

Basically she won't be out I don't think any time soon.
Takes a while for drugs to kick in and then to find out if it's the right dossage or needs upped. So yeah will take time.
I know she wanted out for my birthday ( tomoro) but that won't happen so next date we are looking at is hopefully Christmas.

Its hard to put into words how I feel, chops n changes quite a lot. First night I went to see her, I was okay until i left her. A lot worse off people in their for sure but aye was difficult to leave her even though I know she is in the best place for her right now.

Keeping myself busy at work and with kids I think keeps me going as when I have time to relax and think is when my mind goes into overdrive.

Aye , it is what it is.

How’s your mum dealing with it?

Do you & your dad feel a slight sense of relief? I know all you’ll both want is to have your mum home, but seems like she is in the best place for a long term solution.
Not that anytime is a good time, but this time of year seems to bring a bit more pressure/ stress than normal so it must be tough.
Best wishes M92.

[Venti]

6 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

Don't think she is dealing with it. Drug control really. At times she hasn't a clue. She tells us she is 113% perfect. However she tells us usually the same stories over n over n tells us about all the people on the ward . Quite some characters.
Relief I'm unsure. Yes and no. Yes cause she is in the best place and we both know it but no because it's my mum n of course i want her home , just having to keep telling myself for the best it's to the in the ward until we find medication of some sort to help her.
Dad went through it all before 32years ago when I was born, back then however she was just classed as post natal depression, give her tablets and off she went.

31 years of my life my mum was normal ( probably not right word but can't think of another ) and then yeah some mood swings and things she was doing just wasnt right and it's just went downhill from their.

We know bi polar is something she is always gonna have , it's just trying to make our life n hers the best it possibly can be.
 

You're a brave man G.

Cannae even fathom what it's like to go through this.

[Brother Blades]

Don't think she is dealing with it. Drug control really. At times she hasn't a clue. She tells us she is 113% perfect. However she tells us usually the same stories over n over n tells us about all the people on the ward . Quite some characters.
Relief I'm unsure. Yes and no. Yes cause she is in the best place and we both know it but no because it's my mum n of course i want her home , just having to keep telling myself for the best it's to the in the ward until we find medication of some sort to help her.
Dad went through it all before 32years ago when I was born, back then however she was just classed as post natal depression, give her tablets and off she went.

31 years of my life my mum was normal ( probably not right word but can't think of another ) and then yeah some mood swings and things she was doing just wasnt right and it's just went downhill from their.

We know bi polar is something she is always gonna have , it's just trying to make our life n hers the best it possibly can be.

Feel for you, must be shite.
At least you are looking to the future and realising it’s something you all have to adapt to, whether it’s your mum accepting & sticking to her medication regime, and you & dad & rest of your family accepting that bi-polar disorder is now part of your life also.
It seems you have strong bonds & will get back on track. Again mate, good luck with it all & typing updates on here probably isn’t a bad thing as you’ll be assessing your own feelings & thoughts as you write them down. Looking after your own mental health is really important.

[Raidernation]

Well, I’m off to the psychiatric nurse tomorrow afternoon to see if they can sort out my current meds.
Problem 1. I’m either constipated for days or letting it all out all the time.
Problem 2. Been on these for 6 weeks now and not seeing much improvement. Still get very down in between periods of feeling good. Oh and the sertraline still doesn’t make me sleep better. I fall asleep ok, but I’m still awake after 4 hours.
I notice one of the meds is for anxiety (nope not 100% successful) but also bi-polar...... beginning to wonder?
Anyway, we’ll see tomorrow.

[Daydream]

I've had a great 10 weeks or so in terms of my own metal health. 
I've gotten fully focused on physical health and diet and lost a stone and a half in that period and actually feeling really fit, considering signing up for a marathon and everything.
And then the weekend just happened, I haven't totally cut out booze over the last 10 weeks but I've seriously cut back as part of my health kick.  This weekend I had a work do Friday, out on Saturday and the cup final on Sunday, so the heaviest weekend for a long time.
Thankfully I was off yesterday but I felt fucking horrendous.  Not like just a bit hungover, properly screaming into the pillow, crying in the shower awful.  All the old feelings of life being pointless and hating myself were back with a vengeance.  I didn't get a minute's sleep last night either.  I just lay in silence as didn't want the Mrs to know I was back in such a bad place.
I know that I just need to get back into the fitness and health kick and I will get back out of it, but it really was a wake up call to just how much the booze impacts on my head and a reminder to be fucking careful with it.  It really is dangerous stuff if you let it.  It terrified me how quickly and easily I could be back in that state.

This time of year can be a nightmare - all the nights out, drinking etc. Have you ever thought that not touching a drop would be a sensible choice for your future? I have for mine but haven’t managed. I’m able to apply moderation for a while but I always end up blacking out at some point and so the cycle continues.

I’ve known for 20+ years that I’m not really built for alcohol. It messes with my mind.

Take it easy over the festive period.

[Guest JTS98]

On 12/4/2018 at 17:14, Dons_1988 said:

I've had a great 10 weeks or so in terms of my own metal health. 

I've gotten fully focused on physical health and diet and lost a stone and a half in that period and actually feeling really fit, considering signing up for a marathon and everything.

And then the weekend just happened, I haven't totally cut out booze over the last 10 weeks but I've seriously cut back as part of my health kick.  This weekend I had a work do Friday, out on Saturday and the cup final on Sunday, so the heaviest weekend for a long time.

Thankfully I was off yesterday but I felt fucking horrendous.  Not like just a bit hungover, properly screaming into the pillow, crying in the shower awful.  All the old feelings of life being pointless and hating myself were back with a vengeance.  I didn't get a minute's sleep last night either.  I just lay in silence as didn't want the Mrs to know I was back in such a bad place.

I know that I just need to get back into the fitness and health kick and I will get back out of it, but it really was a wake up call to just how much the booze impacts on my head and a reminder to be fucking careful with it.  It really is dangerous stuff if you let it.  It terrified me how quickly and easily I could be back in that state.

This is very familiar to me. Not always that extreme, but occasionally so. Usually just more of a general malaise or feeling of misery.

I had a busy spell of drinking recently (Christmas etc) but have had the last two nights off. Got up this morning and went for a walk then sat and read a book and had a coffee. Feel a hundred times better than I have done for about two weeks. The bevvy is bad news. My old man used to always say "It's no yer freen that gies ye drink".

49 minutes ago, Daydream said:

This time of year can be a nightmare - all the nights out, drinking etc. Have you ever thought that not touching a drop would be a sensible choice for your future? I have for mine but haven’t managed. I’m able to apply moderation for a while but I always end up blacking out at some point and so the cycle continues.

I’ve known for 20+ years that I’m not really built for alcohol. It messes with my mind.

Take it easy over the festive period.

I'm gradually getting towards this point. I've not yet worked out how to manage the parts of my life that are quite heavily dependent on alcohol. Certain relationships and activities etc. But I'm 34 and would like to think I'll bin it in the relatively near future. It's bad for me, I don't have a good relationship with it, I do it a lot more than I let on to most people, it makes me feel dreadful.

It has to go, really.

[Dons_1988]

5 hours ago, Daydream said:

This time of year can be a nightmare - all the nights out, drinking etc. Have you ever thought that not touching a drop would be a sensible choice for your future? I have for mine but haven’t managed. I’m able to apply moderation for a while but I always end up blacking out at some point and so the cycle continues.

I’ve known for 20+ years that I’m not really built for alcohol. It messes with my mind.

Take it easy over the festive period.

 

4 hours ago, JTS98 said:

This is very familiar to me. Not always that extreme, but occasionally so. Usually just more of a general malaise or feeling of misery.

I had a busy spell of drinking recently (Christmas etc) but have had the last two nights off. Got up this morning and went for a walk then sat and read a book and had a coffee. Feel a hundred times better than I have done for about two weeks. The bevvy is bad news. My old man used to always say "It's no yer freen that gies ye drink".

I'm gradually getting towards this point. I've not yet worked out how to manage the parts of my life that are quite heavily dependent on alcohol. Certain relationships and activities etc. But I'm 34 and would like to think I'll bin it in the relatively near future. It's bad for me, I don't have a good relationship with it, I do it a lot more than I let on to most people, it makes me feel dreadful.

It has to go, really.

I've considered it definitely.

My mental health has definitely improved significantly if I've cut out or significantly reduced the intake, which definitely has made me think if I should just bin it.

Prior to the weekend I mentioned I'd had a run of about 10 weeks with only drinking once a week, and so long as I got to the gym or for a run on the Sunday I didn't feel any ill effects on my mental health.  In an ideal world I'd like to get to that on a permanent basis.

The bad weekend was 3 days in a row and was just horrible to be honest.  I still love a beer unfortunately but it wouldn't surprise me if one day I binned it completely.

ETA - I signed up to a marathon so that I'm basically committed to not hitting it too hard between now and May, the focus on fitness has been a massive boost to me.

Edited December 17, 2018 by Dons_1988

[Stellaboz]

For G man and anyone else dealing with parents in hospital... Don't forget to let off some steam in the right manner. Slightly ironic after the drink talk in recent posts, I'm not meaning booze.

I mean going for a run, punching a boxing bag, going on a GTA rampage or whatever you do to release. Please remember to give yourself time for this. Im someone who has had to deal with both my parents in hospital for a while there and I'm someone who builds up all the anger, frustration and tears and when it came out, it all came out.

Look after yourself, you're allowed to and I'd recommend not going to drink for the answer. That's a slippy slope if you feel anxiety after it, like I do.

[Dons_1988]

5 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

For G man and anyone else dealing with parents in hospital... Don't forget to let off some steam in the right manner. Slightly ironic after the drink talk in recent posts, I'm not meaning booze.

I mean going for a run, punching a boxing bag, going on a GTA rampage or whatever you do to release. Please remember to give yourself time for this. Im someone who has had to deal with both my parents in hospital for a while there and I'm someone who builds up all the anger, frustration and tears and when it came out, it all came out.

Look after yourself, you're allowed to and I'd recommend not going to drink for the answer. That's a slippy slope if you feel anxiety after it, like I do.
 

Totally agree.

Couldn't recommend exercise enough as a pick me up or bit of escapism, even if it's just half an hour.