Richey Edwards Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 you should maybe ask for escitalopram, slightly different from citalopram, it's helped my missus amazingly That's what I'm on. It has been a great help. I've been non-suicidal for quite a while but still take them because I start to feel awful again if I forget to take them. When I'm happier I sometimes forget to take them because when you're happy you don't think "I better take my antidepressants". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Lecturer Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 My wife of 25 years suffered from anxiety around 6 years ago (her 40th birthday). She had councelling and has been on anti-depressants on and off since (6 years). 10 weeks ago I could see that she wasn't her self and wasn't in a happy place, I asked her if she was alright as she has a stressful job which can get her down. She told me she wasn't happy at work or home and has since left me after 25 years of being married. Over the past year she has pushed every one away from her mum and dad, sister and now me. She came back after one day as she bottled it but has since gone again and it's been three weeks. She says she doesn't feel the way she did and just wants to be on her own. She is still on the pills, don't know which ones but our house is now up for sale and there's no going back in her eyes. This has all happened in three weeks. We never ever fought or argued and I honestly thought I had the strongest relationship of anyone we knew. I'm truley devastated but there's nothing I can do, I honestly believe she is unwell again as she had just ordered a new car, new suite, she was even buying swimwear for our big 25th holiday 2 days before she left. I've never felt depressed before, but I'm feeling so bad just now it scares me. I feel for everyone that has a mental health problem, it ruins so many peoples lives. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 My view of my marriage is the first thing that goes and last thing that comes back when I get unwell. Last time I did everything I could to destroy it, the last year I've not gone to same extremes as there are now three kids but I hated my husband and pushed him away. Things are much better now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Can't edit, hang in there, it's not easy watching someone you love hitting the self destruct button. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Lecturer Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Can't edit, hang in there, it's not easy watching someone you love hitting the self destruct button. Thanks for that Rowan, I've never felt hurt, sadness and loneliness like this in my life. She's actually dragging me down to a place that scares the s**t out of me. There are times she looks great and times she looks shocking but she says she's fine and just wants to be on her own. maybe she's right and theres nothing wrong with her, it's just me not accepting the situation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 It's also difficult but you can't help someone who doesn't want help or doesn't think they are ill. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 HL, all you can do is be yourself and keep doing what's best for your own health first. For several years I struggled trying to everything for my second wife who was very severely depressed (and with hindsight one of the worst bi-polar you'd ever come across) eventually it made me very ill. Ultimately nothing was enough and in 2009 she took her own life. No note, but I can clearly recall the last thing she said to me was a "I hate you, look at what you've turned me into" (This was several hours before she went missing) It's a very hard thing to cope with, but if you can, try to get some help/counseling from the NHS, they were brilliant with me in the aftermath. I really feel for you, it really is the worst feeling in the world to lose someone you love and feel completely outwith control. It really isn't your fault (took me a long time to accept that afterwards, and sometimes it still creeps up on me, especially last month as the 5th anniversary of her death) Feel free to pm me if you ever want to let off steam, or just discuss things. I'm no expert, I only have my own experiences to go by. On another topic, Friday marks the first anniversary of my last wife's death (massive brain hemorrhage, so different circumstances) so this is another hard week, but so far I'm doing ok. I 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 My mum is currently coming off Paroxetine after taking it for 25 years. I have never saw mood swings like she is having. Going to be a difficult few weeks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Yesterday I was thinking of how I have totally wasted the last 12 years of my life. I was thinking of things I had done and I was actually questioning if they were my memories. They genuinely felt like they had somehow been implanted. I feel a total disconnect to so much of my life since I started suffering from depression. It's like my memories of loads of things aren't my own but are like scenes from a film. I was also absolutely furious when I was thinking about it. I was sitting on the bus just fuming, almost shaking with anger. I luckily calmed down before I got work but if I hadn't I would have quit as I felt quite compulsive. I'm trying to get another job but need to stay until I do as I need the money to move. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I've also felt like this in the last few years but have overcome the feelings of anger and frustration a bit in the last year or so. I find just planning each day or week as it comes is good. Writing down what you're going to do or having a set routine involving exercise or something you enjoy doing. Sitting around dwelling on things is not the thing to do, it's not easy but try just half an hour of walking or even sitting outside in a quiet place. Worked for me. Sure some things haven't changed but if I was given a chance to move onto something new I would be in a better state of mind to do so. As you can see from my other thread about narcissism I've spent many hours looking into the human psyche and why some people act so badly towards others and can spend ages looking at this and my own character and it can get extremely frustrating to the point I've thought about getting some sort of revenge but this quickly calms down after exercise. Take care. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 My mum is currently coming off Paroxetine after taking it for 25 years. I have never saw mood swings like she is having. Going to be a difficult few weeks. It took me 2 years to ween myself off that shit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) My wife of 25 years suffered from anxiety around 6 years ago (her 40th birthday). She had councelling and has been on anti-depressants on and off since (6 years). 10 weeks ago I could see that she wasn't her self and wasn't in a happy place, I asked her if she was alright as she has a stressful job which can get her down. She told me she wasn't happy at work or home and has since left me after 25 years of being married. Over the past year she has pushed every one away from her mum and dad, sister and now me. She came back after one day as she bottled it but has since gone again and it's been three weeks. She says she doesn't feel the way she did and just wants to be on her own. She is still on the pills, don't know which ones but our house is now up for sale and there's no going back in her eyes. This has all happened in three weeks. We never ever fought or argued and I honestly thought I had the strongest relationship of anyone we knew. I'm truley devastated but there's nothing I can do, I honestly believe she is unwell again as she had just ordered a new car, new suite, she was even buying swimwear for our big 25th holiday 2 days before she left. I've never felt depressed before, but I'm feeling so bad just now it scares me. I feel for everyone that has a mental health problem, it ruins so many peoples lives. Sorry to hear that mate. I know this might sound a bit harsh, but you need to look after yourself first. Your wife is going through a hard time and only herself can pull through that. Stick in there mate. Edited June 12, 2014 by scotfree 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I've been put on a low dose beta blocker from my Psychiatrist to help deal with my anxiety. It helps with the physical problems with anxiety like heart racing. Works in a matter of mins and I've found it very helpful. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 you should maybe ask for escitalopram, slightly different from citalopram, it's helped my missus amazingly I'm on Escitalopram along with mood stabilisers and I find Escitalopram to be brilliant. As I said before I was on Paroxetine for a few years and it really fucked me up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Hope EL and Raidernation get through this okay, that's some heavy stuff to be going through. Over the last week or so a friend of mine handed me a book on Quantum Theory and told me to read it. I grudgingly started reading it (reading books has never really been something I've done) and it has improved my overall mood and has given me a train of thought to keep my mind off the things that were bringing me down. I'm actually looking forward to getting home and continuing it, which is something I never thought I'd be excited about. Obviously everyone has different ways of handling depression but I'd recommend finding a good novel or a book on something that interests you and working through it. I think perhaps the content of this book has helped me as well. It's given me facts such as 99.99999999% of atoms are made up of nothing and that if you were to line up atoms in a row, you'd need 10 million of them to cover the diameter of this full stop. When I read those I thought to myself "I am nothing" but in a good way, if that makes sense. It kind of hit me that whilst I may be virtually nothing, so are the things/people that cause me to worry and if they are virtually nothing then what am I worrying for? Perhaps a simplistic/silly way of looking at things but it's working for me and I'm sticking with it. Also looking to take up Badminton as well so will see how that goes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I've been put on a low dose beta blocker from my Psychiatrist to help deal with my anxiety. It helps with the physical problems with anxiety like heart racing. Works in a matter of mins and I've found it very helpful. I take propranonol for anxiety it helps me somewhat although I'm sure my symptoms are far lesser than yours as i don't have a psychiatrist 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I take propranonol for anxiety it helps me somewhat although I'm sure my symptoms are far lesser than yours as i don't have a psychiatrist Aye man, I'm pretty fucked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Aye man, I'm pretty fucked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Counselling telephone assessment on the 16th then we'll see where I go from there. Apart from a major almost overwhelming comedown after Parklife Festival I have to say the sertraline's generally been a good thing. Feeling much better in general. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Hope EL and Raidernation get through this okay, that's some heavy stuff to be going through. TBF my "stuff" is not that "heavy" compared to many of the posters' on here, things will work out one way or another, but thanks for the thoughts, it really is appreciated 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.