Depression

[Lisa Cuddy]

People in a state of mind that makes them contemplate suicide can be influenced by what others do and say. Remember the spate of them in Bridgend for example. And the trend in the States for "Suicide by Cop", ie approaching an armed policeman in a way that makes him think he has to shoot you. There are a fair number of people here jumping in front of trains. I think it's worth emphasising the pain suicide causes to other people, and what seems the easiest way of doing it can be the most traumatic to those left behind. I fully realise that people in that state of mind may not be thinking rationally, but it's still worth pointing it out, and not bolstering their train of thought by saying how understandable it is. This isn't meant as a criticism of anyone on here, just my perspective on it.

No one on here is saying that it's alright. Nobody's said "Aye well, you know your own mind". Quite the opposite in fact. The one guy that mentioned he'd considered throwing himself in front of a train pointed out that he was in a really bad way BEFORE people started getting on his back about it, although they all conveniently neglected to notice that bit.

NOT talking about suicide does far more harm than discussing it in a calm, adult manner.

[Sloop John B]

I had problems sleeping because I was thinking too much but since my laptop broke I haven't been on it as much. I have managed to calm down a bit in my head by getting out more (gym, library, sports). I think I only get stressed about things I don't understand (flats, money and other grown up stuff) these days

[JogaBonito]

The human brain is wonderful at making sense of any decision, regardless of how absurd they may seem at first. In my opinion, it really does take some "misfiring" in the brain to really go through with it all considering the body is geared to survive even in the extremest of conditions.

Anyway, is anyone currently on/or has been on Fluoxetine? I was offered it in the past but refused. However, I'm currently in a really dark moment and desperately in need of something what with finals coming up as well.

[jeffy]

The human brain is wonderful at making sense of any decision, regardless of how absurd they may seem at first. In my opinion, it really does take some "misfiring" in the brain to really go through with it all considering the body is geared to survive even in the extremest of conditions.

Anyway, is anyone currently on/or has been on Fluoxetine? I was offered it in the past but refused. However, I'm currently in a really dark moment and desperately in need of something what with finals coming up as well.

im sure my grampa used to use that when he was soldering.

[Theo Snelders]

Fluoxetine is an excellent anti depressant. Helps many people. If you decide to go for it, let your GP monitor you closely and be honest with them about how you are feeling. Like all medication, it is not for everyone.

[thankuplz]

Reading this thread, I can associate with what a few people are saying. I've never been to see anyone, but I've had periods where I've definitely been in troughs.

I dropped out of uni after two years for no reason that I can fathom other than I couldn't do it anymore. I tell people I failed a unit, even though that's a lie. It's just easier than the follow up questions. My girlfriend at the time said she thought I was depressed, and had the NHS website up, and I identified with a lot of the markers. Couldn't bring myself to think I was though.

I was a lot worse a few years ago though, when the same girlfriend (over 7 years from the age of 15) broke up with me. Then I lost my job, and my flat. Ended up drinking every night, doing drugs etc. but of course I was still fine.

I thought about ending it, and had an idea in mind. My parents though made me move back in with them. My mum works with people with mental health problems, and I think recognised the state I was getting into. My parents really helped. It took a while, and I still won't admit it to anyone, but I genuinely think they saved me. I've never talked about this to anyone before, and I like the anonymity of the Internet.

I'm living on my own again now, have a reasonable job and a new girlfriend, but I still struggle from time to time. Starting to feel it a little now, hence why I've decided to actually talk, even if it is to p and b!

[dorlomin]

...

Thank you for sharing this. The more people who come out and admit they have had problems the more it normalizes having them.

Glad to hear you have found a way of dealing with things and am very aware of how the old days can come back to haunt you from time to time.

[KeeperDee]

Reading this thread, I can associate with what a few people are saying. I've never been to see anyone, but I've had periods where I've definitely been in troughs.

I dropped out of uni after two years for no reason that I can fathom other than I couldn't do it anymore. I tell people I failed a unit, even though that's a lie. It's just easier than the follow up questions. My girlfriend at the time said she thought I was depressed, and had the NHS website up, and I identified with a lot of the markers. Couldn't bring myself to think I was though.

I was a lot worse a few years ago though, when the same girlfriend (over 7 years from the age of 15) broke up with me. Then I lost my job, and my flat. Ended up drinking every night, doing drugs etc. but of course I was still fine.

I thought about ending it, and had an idea in mind. My parents though made me move back in with them. My mum works with people with mental health problems, and I think recognised the state I was getting into. My parents really helped. It took a while, and I still won't admit it to anyone, but I genuinely think they saved me. I've never talked about this to anyone before, and I like the anonymity of the Internet.

I'm living on my own again now, have a reasonable job and a new girlfriend, but I still struggle from time to time. Starting to feel it a little now, hence why I've decided to actually talk, even if it is to p and b!

You truly are never alone, even though you may feel it at times. If you ever, ever need to talk about your feelings or anything, don't be afraid to pop me a mail or anything. I know what it is like to feel like you feel, and it is not good. But opening up is so much better than bottling it up; which makes things a whole lot worse. You're lucky to have such supportive parents, make sure you are open to them about your feelings.

Like I said, you're never alone.

[cracowjambo]

I think I'm rather depressed. In the last few days I've lost everything. I don't see the point in carrying on with this shit. I can't talk to friends because they will think I'm joking or just take the piss and to be honest what can they say? They have not been in my situation. I feel like anytime I do something it goes wrong and I end up with nothing. When I was growing up my mum used to beat the shit out of me then say she loved me so now anyone that says they love me I somehow get it in my head I'm going to get hurt so I look for excuses to get them to dump me so its not too bad. Then I laugh it off. I split with my wife about 18months ago and have not spoke to anyone about how I felt they just made a joke of it and said the usual shit about being too young etc. Its the same with any girl I've been with I have had to laugh off the fact someone I cared about told me to f**k off now it feels like too much.

I maybe rambled abit

[Swampy]

I think I'm rather depressed. In the last few days I've lost everything. I don't see the point in carrying on with this shit. I can't talk to friends because they will think I'm joking or just take the piss and to be honest what can they say? They have not been in my situation. I feel like anytime I do something it goes wrong and I end up with nothing. When I was growing up my mum used to beat the shit out of me then say she loved me so now anyone that says they love me I somehow get it in my head I'm going to get hurt so I look for excuses to get them to dump me so its not too bad. Then I laugh it off. I split with my wife about 18months ago and have not spoke to anyone about how I felt they just made a joke of it and said the usual shit about being too young etc. Its the same with any girl I've been with I have had to laugh off the fact someone I cared about told me to f**k off now it feels like too much.

I maybe rambled abit

You need to speak to a professional. These are very complex issues that aren't going to be resolved without hard work. I wish you good luck and I'm sorry that you feel so bad

[KeeperDee]

I think I'm rather depressed. In the last few days I've lost everything. I don't see the point in carrying on with this shit. I can't talk to friends because they will think I'm joking or just take the piss and to be honest what can they say? They have not been in my situation. I feel like anytime I do something it goes wrong and I end up with nothing. When I was growing up my mum used to beat the shit out of me then say she loved me so now anyone that says they love me I somehow get it in my head I'm going to get hurt so I look for excuses to get them to dump me so its not too bad. Then I laugh it off. I split with my wife about 18months ago and have not spoke to anyone about how I felt they just made a joke of it and said the usual shit about being too young etc. Its the same with any girl I've been with I have had to laugh off the fact someone I cared about told me to f**k off now it feels like too much.

I maybe rambled abit

You say your friends wouldn't understand your situation; maybe so, however..They are your friends, they like you for who you are, and rest assured they will want to make sure you aren't feeling low and i'm positive they would do all they can to make sure you are upbeat and positive.

The abuse issue you've brought up needs to be addressed because it will continue to eat away at you until you can overcome and ultimately move on from that horrible period from your life. It will hinder your creation of relationships until you talk to a professional about it.

You haven't rambled at all, being told by someone who you love to essentially f**k off is not a cool scenario, but think about this; Should you care about someone who (and I'm being honest) cares very little about you? I know that if you loved her, it will be hard to forget about her and move on, I fully appreciate that, but like I've mentioned to another poster, there are other people who would be better suited to you. You aren't alone, and never think otherwise.

Pop a message to me if you feel like talking. It helps!

[cracowjambo]

You say your friends wouldn't understand your situation; maybe so, however..They are your friends, they like you for who you are, and rest assured they will want to make sure you aren't feeling low and i'm positive they would do all they can to make sure you are upbeat and positive.

The abuse issue you've brought up needs to be addressed because it will continue to eat away at you until you can overcome and ultimately move on from that horrible period from your life. It will hinder your creation of relationships until you talk to a professional about it.

You haven't rambled at all, being told by someone who you love to essentially f**k off is not a cool scenario, but think about this; Should you care about someone who (and I'm being honest) cares very little about you? I know that if you loved her, it will be hard to forget about her and move on, I fully appreciate that, but like I've mentioned to another poster, there are other people who would be better suited to you. You aren't alone, and never think otherwise.

Pop a message to me if you feel like talking. It helps!

I've kind of blocked everything my mum done to me out and I don't think about it. I know its happened and I know how I felt at the time. I get angry when I think about it and I seriously want to go and cause her the pain she caused me. She always tried to make me and my brother thugs. She would give us hash at 14-15 I mean wtf but she done it so we would defend her and because she is a fucking paranoid junkie piece of shit everyone was against her. I was fat growing up but I dont know how. I was lucky to get a fucking ketchup sandwich for tea. When I'm in a relationship its as soon as they say they love me problems start. Take domi the polish girl she was perfect for me. She was very smart and would bend over backwards just to make me happy. I have told my friends she was just using me to make it less of a issue that it's me that's the huge f**k up. The truth is as soon as I left her I knew it was game over. I have nowhere to go no job and the council are not exactly doing anything to help. I went in today and told them that as of today I'm sleeping on the street they just said they can't help because I was on the tenancy for my old house. So aswell as trying to find work I'm looking for somewhere to fucking sleep. Today is the first time I've cried in along time and now I've started thinking about my mum so I'm upset and getting fucking angry. I wish I could go back in time.

[KeeperDee]

I've kind of blocked everything my mum done to me out and I don't think about it. I know its happened and I know how I felt at the time. I get angry when I think about it and I seriously want to go and cause her the pain she caused me. She always tried to make me and my brother thugs. She would give us hash at 14-15 I mean wtf but she done it so we would defend her and because she is a fucking paranoid junkie piece of shit everyone was against her. I was fat growing up but I dont know how. I was lucky to get a fucking ketchup sandwich for tea. When I'm in a relationship its as soon as they say they love me problems start. Take domi the polish girl she was perfect for me. She was very smart and would bend over backwards just to make me happy. I have told my friends she was just using me to make it less of a issue that it's me that's the huge f**k up. The truth is as soon as I left her I knew it was game over. I have nowhere to go no job and the council are not exactly doing anything to help. I went in today and told them that as of today I'm sleeping on the street they just said they can't help because I was on the tenancy for my old house. So aswell as trying to find work I'm looking for somewhere to fucking sleep. Today is the first time I've cried in along time and now I've started thinking about my mum so I'm upset and getting fucking angry. I wish I could go back in time.

Don't repress everything that happened, because although it is not in your immediate conciousness, it is in your unconcious and it can still influence how you think and how you behave.

You must, and please take my advice on this, you MUST go and speak to a professional about your past problems.

And never believe you are unlovable btw, I'm sure you're a fantastic person, and you deserve the help that will come your way if you look for it. Don't let it eat away at you, you control your future, not your past.

[cracowjambo]

Don't repress everything that happened, because although it is not in your immediate conciousness, it is in your unconcious and it can still influence how you think and how you behave.

You must, and please take my advice on this, you MUST go and speak to a professional about your past problems.

And never believe you are unlovable btw, I'm sure you're a fantastic person, and you deserve the help that will come your way if you look for it. Don't let it eat away at you, you control your future, not your past.

I don't know where to start in seeking help. I really don't want to goto the doctor because I don't want to end up on pills. I know it's going to be hard but honestly I don't think taking anti depressants will help me in the long term. I do feel better now have had my rant. I've always bottled things up and I explode sometimes like tonight. 1 thing can just send me off and I just think I want to kill myself.

Thanks for the advice I think it's easier to take advice like this from people I don't know because I don't want someone to hold all this over me but on a internet forum I'm just a username.

[Sloop John B]

I wish you all the best, It doesn't have to be pills if you don't it to be, there are other ways too. I know you're in a tough place now but things will turn around if you keep going.

[cracowjambo]

I wish you all the best, It doesn't have to be pills if you don't it to be, there are other ways too. I know you're in a tough place now but things will turn around if you keep going.

Thanks

I know if I can get past the first few hours where I'm just thinking about doing something stupid I can make it past the time I'm feeling total shit. I have been like this before and within a few months my life has turned around for the better.

What actually happens in a counselling session?

[harkinsbaldpatch]

I wish you all the best, It doesn't have to be pills if you don't it to be, there are other ways too. I know you're in a tough place now but things will turn around if you keep going.

Thanks

I know if I can get past the first few hours where I'm just thinking about doing something stupid I can make it past the time I'm feeling total shit. I have been like this before and within a few months my life has turned around for the better.

What actually happens in a counselling session?

Went to counselling myself and as much as i enjoyed the hour i was there,in the long run i was punishing myself as i was bringing up the same thing every session. It does help to talk, im struggling bad the now but find talking helps me to an extent.

[nobsworthTON]

I've kind of blocked everything my mum done to me out and I don't think about it. I know its happened and I know how I felt at the time. I get angry when I think about it and I seriously want to go and cause her the pain she caused me. She always tried to make me and my brother thugs. She would give us hash at 14-15 I mean wtf but she done it so we would defend her and because she is a fucking paranoid junkie piece of shit everyone was against her. I was fat growing up but I dont know how. I was lucky to get a fucking ketchup sandwich for tea. When I'm in a relationship its as soon as they say they love me problems start. Take domi the polish girl she was perfect for me. She was very smart and would bend over backwards just to make me happy. I have told my friends she was just using me to make it less of a issue that it's me that's the huge f**k up. The truth is as soon as I left her I knew it was game over. I have nowhere to go no job and the council are not exactly doing anything to help. I went in today and told them that as of today I'm sleeping on the street they just said they can't help because I was on the tenancy for my old house. So aswell as trying to find work I'm looking for somewhere to fucking sleep. Today is the first time I've cried in along time and now I've started thinking about my mum so I'm upset and getting fucking angry. I wish I could go back in time.

I feel your pain bro and i know that you'll get through this.My relationship recently ended too mate so i hope you dont mind me asking ---do you still have a phone number for your ex ? She sounds just right for me.

[cracowjambo]

I feel your pain bro and i know that you'll get through this.My relationship recently ended too mate so i hope you dont mind me asking ---do you still have a phone number for your ex ? She sounds just right for me.

Aye I do :-D

I will swap you my ex for yours :-D

I am trying to think of her flaws. The only one I can think if is she baked a cake for me going to Poland and it looked shit.

It tasted so good

[jeffy]

Do you mean she baked you a cake as a reward for going to Poland, or she baked you a cake to take with you to Poland, Cracow ?