Depression

[SodjesSixteenIncher]

They seemed to misunderstand what I meant and thought I was advocating jumping in front of trains. Just wanted to make it clear to any impressionable souls that I wasn't condoning the thoughts I was talking about. Was trying to give insight into my previous way of thinking. Saying that I shouldn't be on a football forum because of that is frankly ridiculous and those kind of attitudes kill a lot more people than talking about past suicidal ideas.

I'm thankful that I'm not in a position to post my own experiences or give advice on this particular subject but I've been really impressed at the honesty and openness in this thread, as well as the offers of support and guidance to each other. It shouldn't be the case but it is a subject people don't often talk about - especially amongst the demographics you'd associate with your average football fan.

Going about asking people to apologise for what was going through their heads is absolutely bizarre stuff. Seems like you're doing the right things and doing well. All the best.

[paranoid android]

I have had various conversations with my wife about moving but always ends up an arguement as she is really stubborn but in my eyes its the only option as i feel im going to have a breakdown.

If you're open with your wife about how badly this is affecting you, she must understand - she has to know how bad this thing is for you.

[paranoid android]

Yeah she knows but thinks that if we move they have won, it aint about that anymore

1 - it's not about winning or losing.

2 - even if it was, your health is much more important than egos.

[harkinsbaldpatch]

Thanks for kind words and solutions, i am to an extent to blame as i have letvit get to this situation, all i want is a night of peace and quiet without doors getting slammed, honestly as if a herd of elephants stay above me. I also understand folk have to live there lifes but abit of consideration is all i ask for and have been told to get to f**k on numerous occasions, dont even engage with them anymore

[Broken Algorithms]

The 'train-gate' post was you opening up about the darkest thoughts going through an extremely troubled mind. You haven't harmed anyone or irreversibly damaged any train drivers. Talking about all that stuff is the same as everyone else listing symptoms to an illness.

You don't have to apologise to anyone, not least these sanctimonious, ignorant c***s.

Totally agree with this.

[KeeperDee]

Does anyone else have the problem of just thinking too much when in bed and not being able to sleep as a result? It's a fucking nightmare.

[fafc1885]

Does anyone else have the problem of just thinking too much when in bed and not being able to sleep as a result? It's a fucking nightmare.

I end up thinking too much and not sleeping most nights, I seem to be okay during the day, but at night everything starts to go through my head. Pain in the arse.

[KeeperDee]

I end up thinking too much and not sleeping most nights, I seem to be okay during the day, but at night everything starts to go through my head. Pain in the arse.

I have the terrible problem of thinking too fast, and when you're trying to just relax in bed it really is a burden. I usually end up feeling my worst in bed due to all the thinking. Sleeping tablets are a no-no as well so I'm kinda stuck.

[ClydeNewcomer]

We've just talked about it, PA. There's lots of help available, but your point is very valid- there's so much of a stigma attached to mental illness that a lot of people won't admit to it, talk about it or seek help for it. The big example recently was Gary Speed's suicide- there was someone that seemed to be successful in his work, financially secure, happy family, nothing wrong- nobody knew he was unwell.

So talking about it is obviously important, but how much can you really do to get people that from the outside look okay to "open up"?

You f**k my wife?

[Swampy]

Suicide isn't "selfish." I saw it scrolling down but didn't look at who said it because this isn't a personal disagreement. If someone's resources for coping are so depleted that they can't see any other way out, I don't see how this can be selfish. It is barely a voluntary act at that point.

[KeeperDee]

Suicide isn't "selfish." I saw it scrolling down but didn't look at who said it because this isn't a personal disagreement. If someone's resources for coping are so depleted that they can't see any other way out, I don't see how this can be selfish. It is barely a voluntary act at that point.

Exactly. It's selfish expecting those who are suicidal to just get on with their life. It really isn't that simple when your mind is essentially exhausted and broken emotionally.

[Desert Nomad]

I end up thinking too much and not sleeping most nights, I seem to be okay during the day, but at night everything starts to go through my head. Pain in the arse.

Have you tried music to help? Even something on at a low volume can help. Reading is another obvious option, but requires a bit more concentration.

[dorlomin]

I end up thinking too much and not sleeping most nights, I seem to be okay during the day, but at night everything starts to go through my head. Pain in the arse.

It could be conventional stress, just the worries of your life needing an outlet or it could be hyper alertness, a symptom of other issues. Most like the former. Get an appointment and tell your GP. Tell them how long it has been happening, if anything triggers it and if there are any other emotional 'events' that trouble you (like getting suddenly angry over trivial events, or upset by small things). GPs are pretty shit at mental\emotional problems but even getting your head together to think about what to say to them can be useful.

And you might get something to help sleep.

[Hedgecutter]

I end up thinking too much and not sleeping most nights, I seem to be okay during the day, but at night everything starts to go through my head. Pain in the arse.

I normally had this until I was given a good tip a month or two ago (was actually for promoting lucid dreams but ended up being good for sleep):

Count backwards from 100 and say (in your head of course) 'I'm dreaming' between each number. If you mess it up or hesitate for a second then you need to back to 100 and count down again. I find it difficult to let other thoughts into my head whilst doing that, good or bad and I rarely remember ever getting to 40, mainly because I lose track of which number I got to rather easily.

Eta: My dreams have actually become more vivid and regular (well, memorable in the morning anyway) as a result.

Edited March 18, 2013 by Hedgecutter

[Adam]

For sleeping, I always find a good audiobook helps. I quite like anything read by Stephen Fry, he's got a cracking voice to fall asleep to.

I've struggled the past couple of nights due to losing my phone, so had to stick a YouTube video on the iPod and listen to that instead. Even when I'm pissed, I find it incredibly hard to fall asleep with no noise.

[Aufc]

Suicide isn't "selfish." I saw it scrolling down but didn't look at who said it because this isn't a personal disagreement. If someone's resources for coping are so depleted that they can't see any other way out, I don't see how this can be selfish. It is barely a voluntary act at that point.

I agree with you. However, on the other hand, what about the people that are left? I know someone who committed suicide and their son found them when he came home from school after he hung himself. That is pretty selfish and something the boy will have to live with for the rest of his life. .

[Lisa Cuddy]

I agree with you. However, on the other hand, what about the people that are left? I know someone who committed suicide and their son found them when he came home from school after he hung himself. That is pretty selfish and something the boy will have to live with for the rest of his life. .

For a lot of people, they believe they are doing those left a favour, like they're releasing them from the burden of having, what they feel is, a worthless person in their life. That's why suicide in itself isn't a selfish act. They aren't trying to inflict grief, they want to give their loved ones relief from them.

For the person you know, it's not entirely impossible that the parent thought the relief would outweigh the fact he found his parent hanged. It might seem like an odd way to think but to someone in those depths of their illness, it makes absolute sense.

[Aufc]

For a lot of people, they believe they are doing those left a favour, like they're releasing them from the burden of having, what they feel is, a worthless person in their life. That's why suicide in itself isn't a selfish act. They aren't trying to inflict grief, they want to give their loved ones relief from them.

For the person you know, it's not entirely impossible that the parent thought the relief would outweigh the fact he found his parent hanged. It might seem like an odd way to think but to someone in those depths of their illness, it makes absolute sense.

Nah I know. It is a strange one. Pretty hard to understand really. Probably highlights how dangerous the "unseen" illnesses such as depression are.

[KeeperDee]

I agree with you. However, on the other hand, what about the people that are left? I know someone who committed suicide and their son found them when he came home from school after he hung himself. That is pretty selfish and something the boy will have to live with for the rest of his life. .

For a lot of people, they believe they are doing those left a favour, like they're releasing them from the burden of having, what they feel is, a worthless person in their life. That's why suicide in itself isn't a selfish act. They aren't trying to inflict grief, they want to give their loved ones relief from them.

For the person you know, it's not entirely impossible that the parent thought the relief would outweigh the fact he found his parent hanged. It might seem like an odd way to think but to someone in those depths of their illness, it makes absolute sense.

Absolutely spot on.

[welshbairn]

People in a state of mind that makes them contemplate suicide can be influenced by what others do and say. Remember the spate of them in Bridgend for example. And the trend in the States for "Suicide by Cop", ie approaching an armed policeman in a way that makes him think he has to shoot you. There are a fair number of people here jumping in front of trains. I think it's worth emphasising the pain suicide causes to other people, and what seems the easiest way of doing it can be the most traumatic to those left behind. I fully realise that people in that state of mind may not be thinking rationally, but it's still worth pointing it out, and not bolstering their train of thought by saying how understandable it is. This isn't meant as a criticism of anyone on here, just my perspective on it.