Depression

[Stellaboz]

If he doesn't start playing you have my permission to leather the wee c**t.

[DA Baracus]

He’ll be there.

 

Got to agree about the booze. I’ve managed to cut back once again, to the extend that Friday, my work’s night out, was the first time I’d any alcohol at all in a month.

 

I had this past year started drinking more regularly. Previously I had been going weeks or even months without it, but it crept back in. It got to the point where there were times that I physically felt I needed it. I started doing it almost every weekend, almost always by myself (I don’t have any friends in Dundee) in my flat, and often feeling really sorry for myself and depressed. It was this shit that very nearly ended everything a couple of years back. Whilst I didn’t quite get that bad, I did unfortunately fall back on old bad habits. One of these was self harm, meaning I now have a new area of scars that I’m pretty ashamed of. I also got even more lazy and unmotivated and have let myself slip to my work state ever. It’s truly horrible. Also resulted in me getting in to more debt, from which I will be free in February.

 

Not even sure why I stopped. Probably cut it out due to money. There were weekends where I was in the shop with beer in my hand ready to buy it, only to not do so at the last moment. Strangely though it was easier to cut out than other addictions.

 

I like beer. I like drinking with friends and even enjoy the feeling of being a bit drunk. Not too much mind. I won’t be giving it up completely, but will be continuing to only do it with friends and totally cut it out at home when alone.

 

Anyway, had a good night on Friday but was absolutely crippled with anxiety on Saturday, for the stupiest reasons, as I hadn’t even done anything. Corresponded with Stella on Sunday about it which really helped (he’s good like that; top lad). . Still feeling it a little bit, which is very annoying, but it’s fading and so hopefully will f**k right off.

 

Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.

 

They’ve sort of stopped (mostly), and have now driven me to sort myself out. Plans are in place and I’m hopeful I can finally do it.

[Stellaboz]

Don't be hopeful about it. You can and will. Or I'll fucking leather you myself.

[Dons_1988]

He’ll be there.
 
Got to agree about the booze. I’ve managed to cut back once again, to the extend that Friday, my work’s night out, was the first time I’d any alcohol at all in a month.
 
I had this past year started drinking more regularly. Previously I had been going weeks or even months without it, but it crept back in. It got to the point where there were times that I physically felt I needed it. I started doing it almost every weekend, almost always by myself (I don’t have any friends in Dundee) in my flat, and often feeling really sorry for myself and depressed. It was this shit that very nearly ended everything a couple of years back. Whilst I didn’t quite get that bad, I did unfortunately fall back on old bad habits. One of these was self harm, meaning I now have a new area of scars that I’m pretty ashamed of. I also got even more lazy and unmotivated and have let myself slip to my work state ever. It’s truly horrible. Also resulted in me getting in to more debt, from which I will be free in February.
 
Not even sure why I stopped. Probably cut it out due to money. There were weekends where I was in the shop with beer in my hand ready to buy it, only to not do so at the last moment. Strangely though it was easier to cut out than other addictions.
 
I like beer. I like drinking with friends and even enjoy the feeling of being a bit drunk. Not too much mind. I won’t be giving it up completely, but will be continuing to only do it with friends and totally cut it out at home when alone.
 
Anyway, had a good night on Friday but was absolutely crippled with anxiety on Saturday, for the stupiest reasons, as I hadn’t even done anything. Corresponded with Stella on Sunday about it which really helped (he’s good like that; top lad). . Still feeling it a little bit, which is very annoying, but it’s fading and so hopefully will f**k right off.
 
Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.
 
They’ve sort of stopped (mostly), and have now driven me to sort myself out. Plans are in place and I’m hopeful I can finally do it.

Can relate a lot to this.

You’re on the right track with booze and exercise etc.

I’ve always found first 2/3 weeks are hard as f**k but if you push through it the head starts to clear, the weight (for me needed) starts coming down and momentum builds and builds.

What gets me through first few weeks is just taking one day at a time, knowing at the end of each day I’ve done the right things and nothing stupid like a beer by myself or something, and that it’s just another step towards the right result.

Takes time but it will feel great.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, DA Baracus said:

He’ll be there.

 

[NJ2]

I can’t wait for DA to get to this fives, get himself in shape and throw Stella about like an empty tracksuit. Get this on the P&B fight night card. Shandon/Deontay can train Stella, he’s forever getting black eyes and bleeding noses

[DA Baracus]

Stella ran away to Germany to escape me as I've been threatening to burst him for years.

[welshbairn]

Stella's the first Scot to escape to Germany and complain that the trains don't run on time.

[supermik]

2 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Don't be hopeful about it. You can and will. Or I'll fucking leather you myself.

You know the Ruels.

[Guest JTS98]

12 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Over the last few weeks I’ve being doing a LOT of thinking about my life, and how I’ve thrown it away and have massively fucked it up. It really got me down to the point of thinking some pretty dark thoughts (suicidal). I was struggling with sleep and just feeling crappy and how much I have let myself down.

You probably have let yourself down in some ways, I think almost everybody has. The key to that is remembering that that's just part of life.

I don't have anything like as much money put away as I should have, I haven't put in enough effort at my job and as a result am not as far up the ladder as I should be considering I'm pretty much a natural at it, I've made pretty poor lifestyle choices which may well lead to health trouble down the line, I've lost touch with some good mates down to laziness.

We all do it in different ways. None of us are really that bright. Just start from where you are and make wee changes. See below, but I personally find post-it notes helpful.

11 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

What gets me through first few weeks is just taking one day at a time, knowing at the end of each day I’ve done the right things and nothing stupid like a beer by myself or something, and that it’s just another step towards the right result.
 

 

Sounds daft, but I've taken to leaving a post-it note on my door which says 'Don't buy bevvy today - you'll feel shite". It's helped me cut out the boredom drinking at home on nights with nothing to do. I've not had a drink alone in the flat for a week. Doesn't sound much, but typically at least once a week I'd have sat in the flat getting pished by myself, just because. Then I'd wake up the next day with a hangover wondering why the f**k I'd done that.

My wee note seems to work. I've not stopped drinking, I was out with a mate on Saturday and am going out again this Friday, but the wee note seems to have helped each day.

[Raidernation]

I’m fucking lonely.
Also spent several days in hospital this week with serious heart arrhythmia , 200 bpm is pretty serious apparently and I’m allergic to aspirin so that’s our the window.
I’m sad, depressed, scared and ,genuinely fucked.
Merry Christmas

[ecto]

When you wake up in the morning open your eyes and it's pitch black even on the brightest of days, when everything and I mean everything is just about as difficult as it could be and its lmpossible to focus on anything other than getting through the next 60 seconds, then the next 60 seconds and so on, when the only slight relief is closing your eyes at night, and sometimes you are not bothered whether you wake up or not, 15 years ago, I was that soldier, never forget there is always someone willing to listen and help, no matter what you think you are not alone

[D.A.F.C]

Been reading over the last few pages and can relate to a lot of stuff. Hope everyone is ok over the next few weeks. Don't drink to get away from feeling down it makes things ten times worse. If your friends don't get it then they're not worth knowing.
Have a drink like you enjoy a nice juice or piece of food. That's how I view it now. You wouldn't eat 10 sandwiches so why drink ten pints in one go?
I hate the machismo attitude to drinking in Scotland its pathetic.

[NJ2]

I have a serious dislike for this time of year but feel somewhat guilty about it

[energyzone]

I have a serious dislike for this time of year but feel somewhat guilty about it

So do I. I should love it as well having kids but it's awful for some reason.

[NJ2]

So do I. I should love it as well having kids but it's awful for some reason.

Being single with no kids etc has made me think it’s just because I see everyone coming together with theirs. Half blamed my ex for she always made a big deal of it (as did her family) but I just couldn’t be fucked with it then either. Days of nothing except expectancy that you’re “enjoying yourself”. Feels a real struggle round this time of year for me.

[Raidernation]

Well I truly fucked up, Christmas Day on my own got to me and between about 3pm and 8am on Boxing Day tanked a liter and 3/4 of vodka (don’t even like vodka)

Was found face down and unconscious On thy floor on my bathroom, some interesting bruises, blood alcohol of 0.465% and 4 days in hospital with apparently encephalopathy and should probably be in a coma or dead.

Stupid, stupid c**t!

 

[Shandon Par]

On 29/12/2018 at 00:55, NJ2 said:

Being single with no kids etc has made me think it’s just because I see everyone coming together with theirs. Half blamed my ex for she always made a big deal of it (as did her family) but I just couldn’t be fucked with it then either. Days of nothing except expectancy that you’re “enjoying yourself”. Feels a real struggle round this time of year for me.

 

[Shandon Par]

9 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Well I truly fucked up, Christmas Day on my own got to me and between about 3pm and 8am on Boxing Day tanked a liter and 3/4 of vodka (don’t even like vodka)

Was found face down and unconscious On thy floor on my bathroom, some interesting bruises, blood alcohol of 0.465% and 4 days in hospital with apparently encephalopathy and should probably be in a coma or dead.

Stupid, stupid c**t!

 

Glad you’ve survived to tell the tale. Once you get most of the way through a bottle of vodka anything can happen.

[Guest JTS98]

10 hours ago, Raidernation said:

Well I truly fucked up, Christmas Day on my own got to me and between about 3pm and 8am on Boxing Day tanked a liter and 3/4 of vodka (don’t even like vodka)

Was found face down and unconscious On thy floor on my bathroom, some interesting bruises, blood alcohol of 0.465% and 4 days in hospital with apparently encephalopathy and should probably be in a coma or dead.

Stupid, stupid c**t!

 

It's a daft thing to do, aye, but lots of us do it anyway. Good you're still here to tell us about it.

How's today?